Tag: life

About Me

Introversion

Autumn

I’m very introverted, and sometimes the ability to socialize just isn’t there. Not only am I unable to think of anything to say, I don’t have the energy to listen/read what anyone else has to say either, and I don’t even want to deal with anyone online or through texts. My husband occasionally teases me that if I were any more introverted, I’d be nonfunctional in society.

When I first became a mother, I worried about how I was going to raise and homeschool my children without going crazy. Being an introvert, my social circle is very small. I am also the black sheep of my extended family, so they’ve been a non-factor in my life (which is my polite way of saying I have zero contact with most of my relatives). Babysitting is not easy to come by, especially because I’m extremely distrustful of leaving my children with people I don’t know very well.

It took some time, but I found my zen.

Which wound up leaving me well positioned for the lockdowns.

While others are sobbing for a break from their children, I already have the routine and boundaries in place for me to thrive. Bonus: As an introvert, I don’t require much interaction with others.

What I had initially feared would be a weakness, turned out to be a strength.

Obviously, what works for me probably isn’t going to work for most other people, because my form of recharging involves going inside my own head (usually to explore story ideas), but my advice is:

…

Honestly, I don’t enjoy giving advice; I couldn’t care less what you do. It’s mostly that I’ve seen some people having nervous breakdowns, and thought to myself, “Phew, glad I’m not like that.” I want to share my personal thoughts more, but I worry too much about hurting other people’s feelings. I’m not trying to rub it in.

But seriously, I really don’t care what you do or don’t do. It’s your life, and if you want to have a nervous breakdown and wallow in depression, go right ahead. All power to you.

About Me

2021

Autumn

I’m going to be completely honest and tell you: I fully expect 2021 to be even worse.

You’re welcome.

Here’s the thing: Life isn’t a linear board game. The point isn’t to race to the end while accumulating the most money, and there aren’t any winners in the end.

Poets of the Fall is my favorite band, and the above quote comes from their song, “Love Will Come to You”. The lyrics continue on to say,

Life doesn’t run a clear course
It flows through from within
It’s supposed to take you places and leave markings on your skin

And those marks are just a sign of something true
you witnessed in your time
Of something new, like the start of something fine

Poets of the Fall, Love will Come to You

Life is an adventure. Life is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Sometimes we are meant to survive the black plague, or huddle in shelters as the cities around us burn, or scrounge for meager scraps of food in the face of starvation. The fact is, life never has been, and never will be, a set course to follow. It requires far too much adaptation and perseverance.

Our ancestors were strong AF, and they passed that strength on to us. If you’re worried about your ability to make it through tough times, remember that the gift of strength was already given to you through countless generations that survived hardships we can’t imagine. This is our adventure and our legacy – our moment in history. Embrace it, and pass the gift of strength on to the future.

So yes, I do fully believe that 2021 will be much harder, but I also fully believe that it’s our time to show the Universe what we’re made of.

About Me

2020

Autumn

A few years ago, a mormon bishop took it upon himself to inform me that my lifestyle was outdated, and that as a woman I needed to apply myself to a career instead of settling for being a simple stay-at-home-mom. He proclaimed this on a Sunday, while wearing a suit, with the authority of God and all that jazz.

And I thought to myself, “Wow, even the mormons don’t like me.”

If it was some sort of attempt at conversion, it had the exact opposite effect — and I’m still very much a stay-at-home mom. I guess the thing that people don’t understand is that I feel an enormous amount of passion about raising my children, and no criticism is going to change that. I’m not going to sell my soul for approval.

The one thing that I did take away from the exchange was that I am alone.

Totally, completely, alone.

I’ve met a lot of women who consider raising kids to be nothing more than a diversion from the ever-so-much-more-important career. Like paychecks are the only things that matter in life.

I’ve lived with the isolation ever since.

But here’s the funny thing about 2020: despite the lockdowns, social distancing, and rampant censorship, the one thing that I’ve learned is that I’m not alone.

There are a lot of people like me.

More than I would have expected, too.

We were just all too scared to say what we really thought before now.

Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com
About Me

Austrian cream cheese bars

Autumn

I jumped on the baking bandwagon.

I don’t actually know if that’s still a thing, or if people have burnt out on it by now.

But anyway, I’ve been baking WAY more than I used to. For the sweet tooth.

I made Austrian cream cheese bars, and thought that it would be fun to take a picture for the blog.

But before I got around to it, my two-year-old attacked them with a chopstick while I wasn’t looking.

So here you go. Yummy.

They’re supposed to have nuts on top, but I didn’t have any on hand.

About Me

Giving Thanks

Autumn

The depressing part is, this isn’t the first time my husband and I have tackled making a full-blown Thanksgiving dinner on our own. Heck, we’ve even got it down to an art, too. So, the number one thing that I’m most grateful for is that we have each other and our children.

Pro tip: Make dessert first, a day or two ahead of time. Keep a straw broom handy to chase the children away.

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We’re fostering a kitten, and while I was putting the frozen groceries away, he jumped into the freezer without my noticing and was consequently shut inside. I’m thankful that I heard him yowling while I was putting away the milk, and rescued him quickly — otherwise we would have been in for a very miserable surprise.

Now I get to be super paranoid about the kitten jumping into other appliances.

.

Some people I don’t care for have sold their house and are moving out this week … Shh, don’t tell anyone I said that.

About Writing

Why NaNoWriMo Sucks

Autumn

I’m not a fan of NaNoWriMo.

Yes, I’m fully aware of the intention behind it, but you know what they say about good intentions. When it comes to practical application, NaNoWriMo sets writers up to fail.

NaNoWriMo is not compatible with real life.

The one time I tried NaNoWriMo, I met my husband instead. Didn’t even come close to finishing.

Fact is, you can’t neglect significant others and children for an entire month without ramifications. People are going to get mad at you.

Not to mention, November kicks off the start of the holiday season, so if you’re planning on celebrating Thanksgiving or putting up Christmas decorations, it’s going to create a conflict. Conflict = stress = writer’s block.

And if you catch the coronavirus and are down sick for a week? Forget it. You can’t catch up.

You’re going to burn out.

People talk about this one a lot. They start off on fire and easily meet the daily word requirements, then completely lose all steam three weeks in and struggle to write a single sentence.

Do you take a week off, eat donuts and cruise around the neighborhood looking for Christmas lights to give yourself a break and recharge? No. Because then you’ll miss the deadline and fail.

50,000 words over four weeks is too much of a sprint for most people to handle. Remember, using your brain also drains your physical energy, and you’re trying to do the mental equivalent of running a 4-minute mile.

It’s better to pace yourself.

It can attach negative feelings to your novel.

Say you did your absolute best, but at the end of the month you only managed 30,000 words.

Then what?

Do you plow ahead and take another five months to finish, or do you become upset at your failure and quit writing altogether until the next November rolls around?

What if you lose interest in your novel because you associate it with feelings of pressure and stress?

Do you stuff those 30,000 words away in some folder hidden on your laptop and never think about them again?

Then what was the point?

Set up good writing habits that will see you through the long term.

It took me seven months to hit 50,000 words in Alice and the Warden. That includes taking two months off to have a baby, and plenty of days where I didn’t get around to writing. I’m satisfied with my progress, and I still have a life. I’m also very glad that I took the time to let the story grow and evolve, instead of rushing towards the end. The joy is in the journey.

Think about your story all the time.

It doesn’t matter if you’re driving to pick up burgers, folding laundry, or sitting in the dentist chair; think about your story. You know those moments when you feel restless and tend to go for instagram as a distraction? Don’t. Fidget uncomfortably, chew your fingernails, and think about your story.

Thinking about your story keeps it fresh in your mind, and motivates you to keep writing as new ideas and scenes come to you. Even if you’re lost about where to go next, keep thinking about what you’ve already written and figure out how to improve it. It will keep you open to inspiration.

Also, if you don’t like the idea enough to think about it daily for an entire year, make it more exciting.

Take care of your body.

Exercise, eat good food, spend time outside, and sleep. Our brains are connected to our bodies, and oftentimes writers block is your body’s way of crying out for better care. Instead of agonizing over an empty page, get up and do something. Even something as small as knitting can help get those juices flowing again. Or take a nap.

Remember, progress is progress.

If all you write on a given day is a single sentence, congratulate yourself. A sentence is progress, and progress is good. Don’t measure yourself in numerical terms of word count versus days passed, but instead on how you feel and experience the journey. Have fun, and keep moving forward.

A little trick that I like to use is, when I know how I want a scene to play out but I can’t get the words to flow, I deliberately write it in the stupidest way I can think of. It takes the pressure off, and gives me something that I can work with to edit and rewrite. It’s also good for a laugh.

Go ahead and participate in NaNoWriMo if you want to. There are authors who finish and publish their NaNoWriMo novels, so it is possible. However, I strongly recommend that you begin with a willingness to fail, and the assumption that you’ll continue writing through December, January, February, etc. Writing should ultimately be about self-expression and creativity, and it’s better to take the time to really enjoy yourself than it is to rigidly speed through to completion.

About Me

Personal Note

Autumn

This is the time of year when I typically slack off from writing and put more energy into holiday activities, but there’s a good chance that this year is going to be completely different. For starters, I have no interest in taking the kids out Christmas shopping.

I might get more into holiday baking, since I’ve always wanted to make one of those chocolate yule log cakes, but have always been too intimidated to try. Might as well give it a shot.

It’s hard to say what the next two months are going to look like, honestly.

Writing is my selfish activity. I love children — my kindergarten dream was to be a mom — but they scream a lot and make big messes. Writing is how I maintain my internal balance so I can deal. With the way the kids have been acting of late, I’m going to be doing a lot of dealing this winter. I’m gonna need as much balance as I can get.

And cake.

I have no clue if I’m going to be slacking off or not.