About Me

Love

Last year or so, I got into an online argument with someone. 😀

I don’t, usually. I’m perfectly aware that it’s a fruitless waste of time, so why bother, etc, etc, etc. But this one guy was all, “Men don’t need women,” and I wanted to blow off some steam.

Women are really only necessary if you want a future for humankind.

Anyway, that guy elaborated his comment to mean that love flows in one direction, going God -> Man -> Woman -> Child. God loves men, men love women, women love children, but children apparently don’t love anything? Except for maybe their pet cat. And cats love food. No arguments there.

Ha ha, I can’t even blog about this without making fun of it.

So, according to this guy’s logic, men get all their love from God, and therefore don’t need women.

I imagine that this guy’s life story is very lonely and depressing.

Love is significantly more interconnected than that. I know that as a mother, I feel an enormous amount of love from my children. They like to pick flowers for me, or climb to the top of the jungle gym and shout, “MOM I LOVE YOU!” They also love Dad, and like to get his favorite candy at the grocery store, or help him with his work.

As a family, we all very much love each other. The idea of one of us not needing the others is absurd.

Don’t go around assuming that men don’t need love from their wives and children — they very much do. Far more than they let on, too.

byautumnrain.com

About Me

Romance

This month, my husband and I celebrate 12 years together.

It was one of those “love-at-first-sight” whirlwind romances that everyone insists is unrealistic and guaranteed to fail. Yet here we still are, and there’s no one else I’d rather go through the fall of civilization with. 😉

So…

Don’t let the critics and naysayers stop you from making your own destiny.

About Writing, Alice and the Warden

Writing a three pronged love story

When I started writing Alice and the Warden, I decided that I wanted it to be a three pronged love story.

First, I wanted to depict Alice growing to love herself. The foundation is built on her learning that she has inherent worth as a person, and that she isn’t defined by her past mistakes. As she herself puts it, “I lived like I was disposable, so it was no wonder that I was used and thrown away”. She realizes that before she can move on and build a better life, she needed to accept that she has value.

Second is the story of maternal love. Alice’s main motivation is to be the sort of mother she thinks her daughter deserves, and all of the introspection and hard truths that she admits to herself stem from that desire. After her baby is born, she does her best to empathize and care for her newborn without complaint, even when she’s exhausted. As she says, “I’m her whole world. I’m the reason she exists, and I can never be replaced as her mother. When I think about myself from her perspective, it makes me want to be a totally different person – the sort of person who’s worthy of that love.”

Third is the marriage between Alice and Hackett. Their relationship is built on companionship and acceptance, as they skip past the stereotypical romance and dive right in to quiet evenings at home with the baby — but they’re still flirty and affectionate whenever they get the chance. They aren’t perfect, but they’re determined to love and support each other, especially when things get tough. Because they both come from painful backgrounds, they find refuge in each other.

Alice: “I feel like it’s okay to be damaged with you. My real dad abandoned me because my parents divorced, but now I can rely on you to look out for me instead, you know? And you’re so good with Alicia, that I never want you to leave me. I love you. Probably more than I would have if I wasn’t damaged.”

Hackett: “She wants to make sure that Alicia doesn’t grow up lonely and vulnerable the way she did, and she wants to make sure that our marriage never grows cold and distant. And you know what? It makes me feel safe. I can be myself without turning into a giant disappointment.”

In retrospect, my original plan of wrapping it all up in 15,000 words was pretty silly. The character development is more ambitious than that would have allowed for.

Anyway, I promise that I’m not being self-congratulatory or anything like that. This year has been stressful in more ways than one, which has made me more forgetful than usual, so I decided that it was a good idea to start compiling my thoughts and goals with this novel. Truth is, I’m not sure I’ve satisfactorily met my goals with this story yet, since it’s still very much a work in progress.