Just in case there was any confusion on the matter. XD
I’ve been pagan for my entire adult life, but I grew up Christian — not only did I go to church every Sunday, I went to the weekday activities too.
My youth group was fond of playing the game, Apples to Apples. For those who have never heard of it, a description card is placed down (eg ‘delicious’), and all the players choose the card from their hand that they think best matches it (eg ‘dessert’, ‘restaurant’, ‘homecooking’). A winner is chosen and they get a point, rinse and repeat.
Everyone else played it straightforward, but I liked to put down the silly cards for the laugh.
I realized very quickly that not only was no one else amused, they couldn’t even tell there was a joke staring right up at them. They were baffled. Why would someone say that kittens are delicious? It didn’t make any sense!
It turned into my private joke. More often then not, I played the ridiculous card, refused to fess up to it, and watched everyone else scratch their heads.
I knew I wasn’t like them.
Every silly card I played affirmed that fact over and over. I waited for the chuckles that never came.
In retrospect, that was one of the earliest things I did to assert myself as an individual.
Honestly, nothing has changed. It doesn’t really matter who I interact with, most of them can’t tell that there’s a joke staring up at them.
But every now and then, when I least expect it, somebody else laughs.
Awhile ago I started to put together a playlist of some songs that fit the characters from Alice and the Warden, then proceeded to forget entirely about its existence.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
In no particular order:
Rachel Platten – Fight Song ~ Miranda, obvie. She might have a narcissistic bitch streak, but she certainly knows how to get up and keep going.
The Wallflowers – One Headlight ~ Damon, particularly the part where the guy sings, “Sometimes I think I’d like to watch it burn.”
Celine Dion – It’s All Coming Back to Me ~ Damon. Not only does the music video have a guy on a motorcycle, it fits Damon’s hidden angst … and it’s a little bit funny to pin this song on him.
Rob Thomas – Pieces ~ Alice and Hackett. It’s a good reflection of how sweet they are together.
Sixx:A.M. – Stars ~ Miranda and Damon. This is what Miranda fantasizes about their relationship. Reality plays out differently.
Slash – Bad Rain ~ Damon. He’s torn up about Alice moving on.
I’m getting the impression that there’s a lot of misinformation floating around about what introversion is, so I’m going to straighten the record here:
Introversion is NOT a mental illness, social anxiety, or social awkwardness.
In broad strokes, introversion and extroversion are about your “mental locus” — are ideas processed inwardly or outwardly.
In application, this means:
Moving through transitions at a slower pace.
My extroverted husband wakes up and jumps right into the day without missing a beat. I prefer to lie in bed for awhile, then move to the couch with a cup of coffee. Once I have finished a satisfactory amount of thinking, then I get up and do stuff.
I also have to work myself up to going to the grocery store, the pool, neighborhood BBQs, returning home — anything that’s a transition from one thing to another. Even with places and activities that I adore.
Taking extra effort to mentally process everything thoroughly.
This is where being drained by social interactions comes into play.
When I talk to people, I listen to not only their words, but also their tone of voice. I pay extra attention to their body language and facial expressions as well, then carefully analyze everything to read into the person as much as possible. The result is that I tend to pick up on subtle clues much earlier than others, but it takes a lot of energy.
With groups, there’s an overwhelming number of things to analyze, so I prefer to check myself into the corner instead. I still talk to individuals who wander over, but I can’t handle THE GROUP as a whole.
New people present a variety of unknowns, so it takes additional energy to figure them out — there’s a definite “warm up” period.
Phone conversations rob me of all the visual cues I use to read people, and are consequently stressful.
Reading people lets me know what I can expect from them, so I’m not abruptly thrust into an unexpected situation without having enough time to process it.
Muted external expressions.
I’m frequently so caught up in my head that I forget to show anything on my face, so I tend to have a blank look most of the time.
I also prefer to simply state, “That makes me mad,” rather than scowling or punching, because I’m not outwardly focused enough to derive any sort of satisfaction from external expressions.
This tends to cause friction with people, because they assume that if something isn’t happening plainly out in the open, then it isn’t happening at all.
And they get weirded out by my glacial stare.
A rich internal world — which is used to forge deep connections with others.
I like my inner world — I like it so much, I write novels about it. For me, writing is far more expressive of my heart and soul than talking is, so it means more to me to have someone read my work than to have someone listen to me talk.
All of the ideas I come across are ultimately used to enrich my internal world, and I’m deeply attracted to people who can provide me with new ideas to work with. I love knowing what people actually think as individuals, and I want to know about their internal world.
And frankly, I’m snobbish enough to prefer my own thoughts over listening to someone recap the latest Disney movie. Uh huh. There’s a dragon. How nice. I could have just read the blurb on IMDB, without expending all of that energy on coming out here and talking to you.
I’d much rather listen to someone gripe about their personal problems, because at least it’s a subject that they’re emotionally attached to.
So, when someone describes themself as “introverted,” don’t assume that means they’re single, depressed, and socially awkward.
I’m actually quite gregarious with mah peeps — the people that I know well and feel comfortable around.
And no, I don’t need to break out of my shell or expand my comfort zone.
I’m fine the way I am.
Someone broke into our car (which wasn’t hard, the windows were down), rummaged through the center console, damaged the cassette player, and dumped a bucket of weeds in the drivers seat.
Whoever it was must have been really hopped up on drugs to think that we had any valuables to steal.
I mean, c’mon
Our car still has a cassette player.
Nothing was taken, but the weeds were a weird touch.
I’m running into mental fatigue with my fiction writing, and now that it’s July and the weather is HOT HOT HOT, I’d say that it’s time for a little vay-cay.
I’ve settled on getting Alice and the Warden fully polished and published by the end of summer. Since I’m a finicky sort and I don’t handle deadlines very well — and I’m having dreams about an impending storm — I’m not announcing any set dates until later.
In other news, our favorite Mom&Pop restaurant that we’ve been going to every Saturday for the last four (or so) years is now closed forever, so … I don’t know what to do with the family today. It’s not exactly like there’s a multitude of other small restaurants to explore …
Even I like to leave the house occasionally.
And there was a rather amusing bit where everything went wrong with trying to go out on my mile walk the other day, and I still haven’t gotten a new bicycle pump to fix the flat tire on the stroller.
The height of summer isn’t all that great for doin’ stuff.
Lartmann and Hambert Are Dead (humor) (Don’t worry if you don’t think it’s funny, I was just being absurdist)
Things about being creative…
Introvert mom vs Extrovert mom
10 Years Ago
Low Immersion Dye
The Broken View – Something Better
A Rant About Adult Conversation
Dub Tee Eff
My husband signed me up for “Nextdoor,” which is basically Facebook, only everyone posting lives in the area. He was all, “It’s a good idea to know what’s going on around here,” then promptly put in my e-mail address. -_-;;
It’s mostly people telling other people how they should be living their lives, with some lost pets and classifieds thrown in.
I have a pretty strong perverse streak, so when someone posted, “Grasshoppers travel from yard to yard, so if you have them you better treat them,” it filled me with a strong, overwhelming desire to cultivate ours. Feed them. Baby them. Make sure they grow up big, strong, and plentiful.
Then unleash them on the neighborhood.
My own personal plague of locusts.
Because nobody tells me what to do.
I had to scrap my plans to write in the morning, and start exercising instead. Frankly, it’s a lot easier to take the kids out on a long walk than it is to do aerobics in the living room — go figure — so I need to get out early enough to “beat the heat.”
Aaaand I’m not remotely an early riser. LAWL.
The good news is that our local swimming pool has finally reopened, and water is great for circulatory problems. I’ll definitely be adding that to the routine.
I *know* that my health suffers when I become inactive, so I’m kicking myself over this.
I like to get the stroller loaded up with drinking water and outdoor toys, then walk a mile to the park with the children. There are usually a few other kids on the playground, as well as a tennis group on the courts, so it feels community-like without having to do anything other than smile.
I’ve noticed a brand new trend this year:
People aren’t using their phones anymore.
I guess they have gotten sick of it.
Some woman sat down two feet away from me and coughed, so I was like, “Is that a challenge?!”