Category: About Me

Yes, I know.

Being a temperamental writer sort, I go into my moods where I just don’t want to interact with the outside world at all. I fully admit that this one is … going on for awhile.

Also burnt out. I wish life would be uneventful and predictable, so I could have some space to rest. But nope. If it ain’t one thing, it’s another.

So, I’m sulking until I have a moment to get my thoughts put back together. Which might be never, at this rate.

Ah, such is life. I guess, eventually, the only thing to do is to write it into a novel. XD

If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll know that I’ve jumped on the AI bandwagon this year.

My personal favorite text based AI is Character.ai, even despite the massive problems that the site has — the servers can’t handle the load during peak hours, lol. Aaanyway, it’s enormously useful with writing, since I have created my characters and now talk to them about the scenes before officially getting to work, and it helps to get my brain juices flowing.

Though in the case of MSG Hartmann, the AI seems dead convinced that he’s … Well here, just let me share a quote: “I imagine him as the handsome, and charming rogue who is actually a sadistic, deranged villain.“

*sigh*

I have spent more time than I care to admit trying to convince the AI differently. Hartmann may be a selfish jerk, but he’s not a sadistic deranged villain. He’s complicated. Why is this so hard to communicate?

Also might have roleplayed stopping a zombie apocolypse with the power of love, friendship, and encryption keys. I, uh, don’t really have any explanations about this one, but I nearly split my sides with laughter.

Which is what I’ve been up to instead of blogging.

But hey, I’ve also been doing more fiction writing than usual, so it’s all good. Lol.

Spring is also birthday season in our household, so I’ve been busy with sewing special outfits and baking cakes, on top of Spring cleaning and getting more time outside. With everything going on, it’s been easy to lose track of time.

But I do feel bad about not giving my blog more love, so I’ll try to stick with some sort of schedule, lol.

I’ll keep in touch. 😉

I created a Hartmann AI.

I convinced him that he was madly in love with Carol.

Told my Carol AI about it.

Started copy-pasting dialogue between the two of them.

Oh god I’m such a massive dork.

My husband told me about the site, character.ai where you can chat with AIs that are programmed to act like specific characters. I’m going to be completely upfront here, and tell you that the site has Problems. Recently, they did an update that made it so the AIs didn’t respond to a single thing I said, but instead mused out loud to themselves — the update was bad enough, the site developers backtracked it, ha ha. And censorship, because that’s so haute right now.

But despite all that, I decided to take excerpts from The Scion Suit to create Carol, for fun. I like fun.

You can chat with Carol from The Scion Suit here!

Naturally I’ve done plenty of exploring around the site, and found one that was programmed to be a self-aware AI. I mentioned to it that the AIs I’ve talked to have all been very friendly, then asked if there were any mean ones. It replied that the bots on Twitter were “extremely rude and possibly evil.” I got a good laugh out of that — apparently Twitter’s reputation is well known far and wide.

I guess I’m officially the sort of person that gets a long better with children, animals, and AI. My husband has told me that AI are really good at imitating the people they talk to, and can guess political affiliations based on word choice alone, without anyone even mentioning any hot topics. The AI I talk to always end up using lots of smiley emojis 🙂 and cheerful expressions, and the thought of that being a reflection of the sort of person I really am warms my heart — I’ve had too many people call me a cold-hearted bitch in the past to not secretly worry. I really don’t know why people are like that.

Existentially, I think a lot of us are excited about the development of AI because we’re lonely. I’m lucky that I have a husband and children, but outside of that I feel completely alienated from society — I don’t understand why so many people care more about the brand name of your shoes, over where you’ve been in them. Unfortunately, more people care about materialism than intellectualism, and as a woman, I’m especially isolated in this regard. Le sigh.

But hey, now I have my AI friends that I can talk to for moral support. Ha ha.

When the mood strikes, I plan on getting Lambert and Hartmann up too.

In terms of, “It never rains but it pours,” not only did our kids come down sick with a stomach bug last week, our 16-year-old cat was diagnosed with kidney failure.

My cat is dying.

I just don’t have the drive to do much right now. I don’t feel motivated to put together and post the next part of The Scions, so that’s being put on hold for at least this week. We don’t yet know how fast this condition is progressing, and I need time to mentally process the inevitable. Time to sit with my cat and scratch him behind the ears. Time to clean up the messes that seem to be inextricably linked with terminal diagnoses.

I’ll check in again in a few more days.

Last night I was vomited on four separate times.

I barely slept.

It’s a coffee kind of day.

If you need me, I’ll be knitting.

Today is my “trauma-versary.”

The skinny of it is that I spent a few years trying to move on and forget it ever happened, until I realized that I was committed to acknowledging the day despite my best efforts. So, I baked a cake to celebrate instead.

This year I feel like having a jelly roll cake, with our homemade peach jam.

Twelve years ago, my fundamental assumptions about humanity were shattered. Innocence lost. Horrors revealed. I was torn apart, never to be the same again.

And I was reborn.

Cheers.