Category: About Me

About Me

Rambling

Autumn

I sat down and read an entire book in two days.

It’s something that I haven’t done in years, but I like that I still have it in me to pull it off. I usually bounce from activity to activity, fulfilling an obligation here, stealing ten minutes there, trying to make the most of my day. I haven’t spent so much time on one activity in ages.

The funny thing is, as soon as I finished, I launched into an analysis of the author’s psychological problems. I couldn’t resist — the romance was so badly tacked on, it just screamed to be probed and dissected.

At some point, I decided to experience novels beyond what was written on the page. I try to see the authors behind the words, and can get a pretty good idea of what they’re like before I go searching for the bio. Unsurprisingly, the above author turned out to be divorced, and currently lives alone with two cats — which is probably why she failed at portraying romance effectively.

But otherwise, the story was very enjoyable. After all, I finished the book in two days.

That’s also why it can be so hard to share my writing with others, because it feels like I’m exposing huge portions of my insides to anyone who bothers to look. Guess why there’s a reoccurring theme about social outcasts? Obviously it’s because I’ve spent my entire life surrounded by a group of BFFs who love and support me. /sarcasm

As serious as I am about the craft of writing, I’m a flake about marketing. Big time flake. Heck, I worry that developing that part of my brain would hurt my artistic integrity, so it’s easy to shrug it off. My goal isn’t to become an entrepreneur.

Actually, there isn’t any real point to this post. I’m rambling.

Before 2020, I had been planning on some real-world marketing strategies to get my name out there as an author. Obviously when people started wearing gloves and hitting the hand sanitizer hard, I put those plans on the back burner. It still doesn’t feel like the time is right to engage with the real world yet, and I don’t want to fuss over stats on social media.

I don’t mind biding my time.

It’s nice to take a couple of days off for an indulgence, just because I felt like it.

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com
About Me

Slacker

Autumn

I’ve been such a slacker lately.

I actually do have a reason for it, which I am keeping personal for the time being. I will say that the echoes between this year and 2011 are rather eerie.

When I decide I’ve had enough of being a hermit, I plan on re-releasing The Black Magus on Smashwords. I’m also undecided about whether I should put The Scion Suit on the back burner for awhile, or push ahead with finishing it. Though come to think of it, I’ve never put a project on hold before, so that probably answers that question. Besides, writing Hartmann should be fun, with him being so cavalier.

Once that’s finished, I’m going to start the sequel for BOTH The Black Magus and Alice and the Warden. A series of cheesy and highly contrived events cause Hackett and Ainmire to cross paths, and they form an everlasting friendship based on their mutual proclivity for younger women. LMAO.

Or something like that.

I never take myself too seriously.

Anyway, I also need to finish transcribing the Miranda and the Convict letters, which I have been procrastinating on horribly. Stuff to do, and all that jazz.

Not to mention, it’s that time of year for baking apple rolls and pumpkin cookies.

About Me

Sick Week

Autumn

The family caught a cold this week. Just a regular, common cold, and I’m still chasing the one-year-old around the living room with a tissue.

I set up an air mattress in the living room and turned it into a camp out, which the kids thought was great. We watched a lot of movies, played a lot of video games, and drank an enormous amount of juice. My husband and I switched off who was in charge, based on who needed a nap the most desperately.

I like my life.

I like throwing a sick party with my children. I like wiping up little noses. I like having a husband I can rely on.

We live in a world where very few people can understand that. There’s a constant push for more more more. I’ve gotten so much criticism for not joining in the rat race, to the point where I don’t bother trying to talk to most others. What I have right now, is good enough to live for no matter what else the world throws at me.

And I don’t want to live in the sort of world where one-year-olds have no one to look after them when they’re sick.

About Me

Omens

Autumn

I marked today on my calendar for personal reasons, knowing full well that nothing memorable was going to happen. Still, it had to be done.

Yesterday, another appliance died.

I’m in territory where I can’t just do a google search and find the answers. One of my biggest gripes about modern paganism is that all the sharp edges have been taken off — there’s no such thing as a bad omen anymore.

But in the real world, buildings burn, people die, fortunes are lost, love is broken, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

We’ve had four appliances die this year. Numerous signs revolving around blood. Both of my horse shoes fell from their door frames (where they had sat for a few years). All of my bundles of sage somehow ended up disintegrating where they were hung to dry. If you ask me, it all adds up to a boatload of shit speeding towards us from the horizon.

Last night I dreamed about a raven, but I highly doubt that it symbolizes getting a job interview.

For now, I make it through today, and the reason why I marked it as special.

About Me

Update

Autumn

I’ve decided that I need to stop keeping an eye on trends, considering the increasing number of things that are physically painful to know about. Honestly, the sort of terminology that is popular on the internet makes me want to say, “Uh huh. And did you come up with that before or after you ate Tide pods?”

No one with any intelligence or dignity would apply those sorts of words to themselves as a label. Ever.

Then again, I think that quite frequently when I go to the grocery store and see what people are wearing these days. A main characteristic of modern life is how far are you willing to degrade yourself to fit in. I’ve come to the conclusion that the majority of people don’t have any limits.

And I don’t want to know about it.

I’ve also decided that there are some IRL people that I need to cut out of my life entirely. The situation is getting too fucked up and exploitative, so it needs to end. Not to mention, after a year and a half of no contact, I found myself simultaneously thinking, “Were they always this bad?” and, “I did not miss this!” So I have to work my way through the guilt of being a cold-hearted bitch, simply because I don’t want to be treated unfairly anymore.

In other recent events, there’s nothing quite like watching a building burn down to remember how meaningless and insubstantial materialism is. Everything can be lost in under an hour. Everything. So instead of wasting my time on empty pursuits, I’ve been playing Jingle Bells on the piano while the children dance and sing.

Memories last longer.

About Me

Recluse

Autumn

When I first learned what a recluse was during my childhood, I thought that it sounded like a great idea. Heck, I even made it my life goal.

Shortly after reaching adulthood, I discovered that I don’t actually enjoy living completely alone. I forget to eat if I don’t have someone else around to keep me grounded in reality.

So, now I have a family of my own, and it works really well for me… As long as I get the kids in bed early so I have time to myself, lol.

But lately, I’ve been feeling overexposed to people.

It’s the combination of a number of things that I don’t want to get into (don’t worry, it’s not you), but I’m worn down. I don’t want to interact with the outside world, so much as I want to retreat within myself and paint the stairs. I’ve absorbed too much energy from too many sources, and I need a mental cleanse.

I’m being literal, btw. I bought supplies to paint our wooden staircase yellow and green, and have been doing the prep work. The previous owners painted it taupe, so I’m not ruining anything. Albeit, I *am* making it weirder.

Reclusive. Retiring. Cloistered.

That’s me.

And you can’t bully or cajole me out of it.

About Me

Musing

Autumn

The other day I was musing over how all of the creative sorts that I used to follow back in the day all dropped off the face of the planet, when it hit me: I dropped off the face of the planet, too. Talk about a blind spot, lol.

Though I didn’t have any adoring fans that I let down. There are people out there who are very good at commanding attention and getting noticed … and I am not one of them. I tend to become shy. So. Very. Shy.

Anyway, my absence from the planet is why I sit here saying, “I’m super passionate about writing,” with so few titles attached to my name.

Those lost years were essential. They added depth to my ideas that I wouldn’t have developed otherwise, and broke me out of the standard tropes. They gave me life experience.

They also left me too scattered for awhile afterwards to finish anything. I had no focus or consistency.

And I don’t like talking about it, so don’t ask.

Thankfully, in this part of my life, I’m a lot more solidly grounded, so I’m much better at writing nearly every day (I say after I took a full month off just because). That’s the part that really matters to me, but dang do I wish I was working faster sometimes.

Like, it would be so sweet if I was finishing TWO novels every year, instead of just one.

Because sometimes I feel like I have too many stories inside of me, waiting for their turn.

About Me

Rose Quartz handspun yarn

Autumn

Purchased from here

My phone kept automatically changing the color balance while I was taking pictures, which I found to be thoroughly amusing and decided to run with it.

Guess which one is the most accurate? 😀

Anywho, this yarn is going to be a new pair of mittens for yours truly.