Grass trimmer and repair tools laid out on picnic table in garden at sunset
About Me

Raising Kids: Balancing Fun and Learning

My dryer started making an odd noise, so I checked it and discovered that a screw had gotten wedged in the edge of the drum near the door. With two minutes and a pair of needle nose pliers, I fixed the problem myself. No hullabaloo. No performance of hardship. No consulting a committee. No fishing for praise afterwards. Just done like that. Done.

I was both proud of myself for identifying and solving the problem of the Weird Dryer Noise, and a little baffled that it was so simple.

Getting my weed eater put back together wasn’t quite as easy. I had my 8-year-old daughter help me with that one. My kids are learning the value of problem-solving and tenacity through example.

I realized that my kids have never had Happy Meals from McDonald’s in their lives, so I got some for them. They liked the toys, but declared the food to be generic fast food, and I told them, “That’s the point of getting McDonald’s.” So there, they’re getting a childhood full of normal experiences.

My kids and I have also finally dived into the world of Minecraft mods, particularly Create and Alex’s Mobs. I thought that my kids were making amazing things in vanilla Minecraft, but the Create mod has really taken their builds to the next level. Like holy cow. The creepers, on the other hand, still sneak up behind them and blow up their factories, so it’s still definitely Minecraft.

And the kids have been thoroughly delighted with Alex’s Mobs, especially with giving cockroaches maracas to make them dance. 😂

I am both sad and relieved that summer is going to be ending soon. I’m pretty certain that every day I’m with the kids I have been driving between pool parties, splash pads, parks, and Walmart. Apparently it’s infectious, because I’ve been going out a lot more on my child-free days as well despite complaining about how exhausting it is.

I’ve noticed that people are more open towards me now that I’m no longer doing the “trad wife” thing. Maybe the fact that I’m wearing pants makes them feel more comfortable, and less like they accidentally wandered into church. But as everyone likes to say, “correlation does not equal causation” and there’s also the giant fact that I’m no longer accompanied by a person who wears the expression of someone who stepped barefoot in fresh dog poop. All I know is that going out and socializing is considerably more satisfying than it used to be.

I was thinking recently about how all the cultural standards of what makes for a “loving dad” sound a lot more fun than the stereotypical “loving mom.” I’d much rather toss a ball, play games, and go on outings, than spend hours in the kitchen making homecooked meals and washing dishes — people really shouldn’t be linking homecooking with love anyway. Between you and me, I never got the feeling that the kids appreciated all the hours I spent in the kitchen anyway, and they would have been happier eating frozen chicken nuggets and getting more ‘mom time.’

In terms of my creativity, I’ve been wondering about where I should be posting the content that I’ve been working on. I’ve been very happy with how my hobbies have been going lately. Is anyone here interested? 😉

About Me

Finding Balance: Work, Home, and Parenting

Some things are a lot easier to see through the contrast. I didn’t really enjoy being a stay-at-home mom, doing the same chores over and over, day after day after day. For years I told myself that the chores would still be there even if I got a job, so it was better to tackle them and stay with my kids.

Then the chores really did magically up and vanish.

In full disclosure, my entire environment is completely different now. I’m still certain that if I were in the same place while trying to work a job, the chores would have magically doubled instead.

I’m not interested in debating stay-at-home vs working with parenting, as life is complex and most of us are trying to survive the best we can. We’re all doing what we think is right, and we don’t always have a choice in the matter.

What I had wish I had known is that it isn’t as black and white as staying-at-home is easier than working.

The endless repetition of chores is difficult. They don’t give a sense of fulfillment, and to make it worse there are plenty of people online claiming that they can keep their house immaculate with just fifteen minutes a day. Even if the physical action isn’t difficult, emotionally it wears down your soul.

And you know what? I’m just going to say it: if you spend hours cleaning every day and the house is never clean, then maybe you’re trapped in a toxic environment. Because sometimes the mess is deliberate, not incidental.

What I’ve realized is that my kids don’t generate anywhere near as much mess as I thought they did. I didn’t have to spend all those years trying to stay on top of an insurmountable mountain.

Finally, I’m still every bit the homebody that I always was before. Thankfully there’s such a thing as laptops and internet connection.

About Me

LMAO

Three-year-old: Put fire on the candle.
Husband: That’s called lighting the candle.
Three-year-old, screaming: NOOOO! PUT FIRE ON THE CANDLE!!!

Just no changing some people’s minds.

XD

Photo by Jill Burrow on Pexels.com
About Me

YouTube Kids

I don’t let my kids watch YouTube.

I used to.

Once upon a time I had a three-year-old who liked to let herself out the front door and go on grand adventures down the street, until her panicked mom came running to find her. Those “baby proofing” door handles didn’t cut it, and I needed to keep her occupied so I could shower or wash the dishes. Enter YouTube.

I found a bunch of children’s music videos that I thought were cute, so I pulled them up whenever I needed turn my back for a few minutes. It didn’t take her very long to figure out how to navigate to other videos, and before I knew it “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” had turned into overly-hyper people playing Roblox.

I let it be for awhile. It wasn’t until the kids started finding Elsa x Spiderman videos that I started to feel uncomfortable, especially the ones that featured “pregnant Elsa.” Something about them really didn’t sit well with me, so I stepped in and put an end to it. I mandated that the kids were only allowed to watch YouTube as long as I was there with them, and they had to get my permission before they clicked on a video.

Shortly afterwards, I learned that a number of those Elsa x Spiderman videos were being used to imitate porn and other questionable activities. That further solidified my decision to never let them watch anything unsupervised. (See Elsagate)

Thankfully, by this point my daughter had stopped letting herself out of the house, so that little problem had become a non-issue and I could shower in peace.

However, the more I watched YouTube with them, the more intense my anxiety about it grew. To top it off, the kids were turning into materialistic little snots, and I was growing tired of constantly explaining to them why we were never going to buy them any of the toys they saw on YouTube. I felt that I was becoming a paranoid nervous wreck, so I eventually declared that the kids were only allowed to watch one channel.

As time went by, I realized that the children were much better behaved when they didn’t spend any time at all on YouTube. They slept better, fought less, and listened more. My husband and I decided to block YouTube entirely on our main computer, and our children settled down into manageable little monsters instead of psychotic tyrants.

I’m a crazy strict mom amongst my peers for it, but that decision has improved our lives. I strongly believe that it would benefit most families if they “unplugged” more and started interacting with each other and the real world instead of being constantly glued to the Internet. We need to teach our children how to fully engage with life, instead of dealing with parenting issues the easy way. I had to learn that through experience, but I’m glad I figured it out.