LMAO.
Not that I ever pass out drunk.
But the kids have smeared poop on the walls, and I still prefer that to get-togethers.
Tag: motherhood
Tiny Person
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Alicia’s Booties knitting pattern
“I’ll tell you what, dear, … I’ve got some leftover yarn from my grandbaby’s blanket, and I can have some booties knitted up in a jiffy.”
Alice and the Warden, by Autumn Rain
Materials
Worsted weight yarn
Markers
Yarn needle
0-3 months: Size 3 needles
3-6 months: Size 4 needles
6-9 months: Size 5 needles
9-12 months: Size 6 needles
Sole
CO 26
Odd rows: sl1, k to end
Row 2: k1, m1, k11, pm, m1, k1, m1, k1, m1, pm, (5 sts total between markers) k11, m1, k1
Row 4: sl1, k1, m1, k11, (sl marker), m1, k2, m1, k3, m1, (sl marker), k11, m1, k2
Row 6: sl1, k2, m1, k11, (sl marker), m1, k4, m1, k4, m1, (sl marker), k11, m1, k3
Row 8: sl1, k3, m1, k11, (sl marker), m1, k5, m1, k6, m1, (sl marker), k11, m1, k4
Row 10: sl1, k4, m1, k11, (sl marker), m1, k7, m1, k7, m1, (sl marker), k11, m1, k5
Row 11: sl1, k to end (remove markers)
Foot
Rows 12-18: stockinette stitch (k odd rows, p even rows)
Row 19: sl1, k28, ssk, turn
Even rows: sl1, p7, p2tog, turn
Odd rows: sl1, k7, ssk, turn
Continue short rows until there are 36 sts on needles.
sl1, k to end
sl1, p to end
Eyelet row: sl1, (yo, k2tog, k) repeat to end (12 yo total)
sl1, p to end
Cuff
Continue in 2×2 ribbing (k2, p2) until 2x desired length
End after even row
BO3, (sl st to left needle, CO2, BO6) repeat across
Note: Picots are supposed to be centered over P sts in ribbing
Cut yarn with long tail to sew up the back of bootie (~2ft)
Weave in ends
Thread yarn or ribbon for a shoe lace through eyelet row, fold over cuff
Decorate!
Note: Little hands like to grab things! Tuck the laces under the cuff to protect them, and make sure decorations like pompoms are attached securely.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Knitting Patterns
My baby is teething. And I am so tired.
I’m one of those excessively creative sorts, and writing is just *one* of the things I do — since it’s my favorite, it’s the one I blog about. Ostensibly. Since I’m not particularly ‘plugged in,’ I usually work on some sort of yarn project when most others are on their phones. I know that this is an obsolete thing to say now, but once upon a time I used to be the only mom at the playground who wasn’t glued to a screen. You know, back when the world still existed.
Sometimes I think everything really did end back in 2012, and we just didn’t realize it at the time.
Don’t mind me … I’m not getting enough sleep.
So, one of my other dreams is to publish crochet and knitting patterns. I’ve already made a few of my own designs, too.
The problem comes with writing them down. Following a knitting pattern is one thing, but writing one is agonizingly boring. Then, of course, in order to make them more commercially friendly, you need to work out different sizes, as well as gauge. I’ve always found it much easier to simply hand the sweater/scarf/hat over to whichever child I made it for, for them to promptly lose in a giant mess of laundry, never to be seen again.
Then I tell myself that since I can’t take a picture anyway, there’s no point in writing down the pattern.
But I still think that I would like to come up with designs that are based on the stories I write. Like, “Alicia’s baby booties,” or “Gertie’s shawl.” It would be a fun way to share this magical world of mine outside of the stories.
So, I’ve decided that one of my 2021 goals is to design and publish at least one knitting pattern for Alice and the Warden.
Here’s hoping I actually make that happen?
Thank you for sharing my work!
AatW – Worthy of Love
Thank you for sharing my work!
Introversion
I’m very introverted, and sometimes the ability to socialize just isn’t there. Not only am I unable to think of anything to say, I don’t have the energy to listen/read what anyone else has to say either, and I don’t even want to deal with anyone online or through texts. My husband occasionally teases me that if I were any more introverted, I’d be nonfunctional in society.
When I first became a mother, I worried about how I was going to raise and homeschool my children without going crazy. Being an introvert, my social circle is very small. I am also the black sheep of my extended family, so they’ve been a non-factor in my life (which is my polite way of saying I have zero contact with most of my relatives). Babysitting is not easy to come by, especially because I’m extremely distrustful of leaving my children with people I don’t know very well.
It took some time, but I found my zen.
Which wound up leaving me well positioned for the lockdowns.
While others are sobbing for a break from their children, I already have the routine and boundaries in place for me to thrive. Bonus: As an introvert, I don’t require much interaction with others.
What I had initially feared would be a weakness, turned out to be a strength.
Obviously, what works for me probably isn’t going to work for most other people, because my form of recharging involves going inside my own head (usually to explore story ideas), but my advice is:
…
Honestly, I don’t enjoy giving advice; I couldn’t care less what you do. It’s mostly that I’ve seen some people having nervous breakdowns, and thought to myself, “Phew, glad I’m not like that.” I want to share my personal thoughts more, but I worry too much about hurting other people’s feelings. I’m not trying to rub it in.
But seriously, I really don’t care what you do or don’t do. It’s your life, and if you want to have a nervous breakdown and wallow in depression, go right ahead. All power to you.
Thank you for sharing my work!
2020
A few years ago, a mormon bishop took it upon himself to inform me that my lifestyle was outdated, and that as a woman I needed to apply myself to a career instead of settling for being a simple stay-at-home-mom. He proclaimed this on a Sunday, while wearing a suit, with the authority of God and all that jazz.
And I thought to myself, “Wow, even the mormons don’t like me.”
If it was some sort of attempt at conversion, it had the exact opposite effect — and I’m still very much a stay-at-home mom. I guess the thing that people don’t understand is that I feel an enormous amount of passion about raising my children, and no criticism is going to change that. I’m not going to sell my soul for approval.
The one thing that I did take away from the exchange was that I am alone.
Totally, completely, alone.
I’ve met a lot of women who consider raising kids to be nothing more than a diversion from the ever-so-much-more-important career. Like paychecks are the only things that matter in life.
I’ve lived with the isolation ever since.
But here’s the funny thing about 2020: despite the lockdowns, social distancing, and rampant censorship, the one thing that I’ve learned is that I’m not alone.
There are a lot of people like me.
More than I would have expected, too.
We were just all too scared to say what we really thought before now.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Austrian cream cheese bars
I jumped on the baking bandwagon.
I don’t actually know if that’s still a thing, or if people have burnt out on it by now.
But anyway, I’ve been baking WAY more than I used to. For the sweet tooth.
I made Austrian cream cheese bars, and thought that it would be fun to take a picture for the blog.
But before I got around to it, my two-year-old attacked them with a chopstick while I wasn’t looking.
So here you go. Yummy.
They’re supposed to have nuts on top, but I didn’t have any on hand.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Writing babies
One of my pet peeves with fiction is when child characters start out important, then are reduced down to props or are inexplicably absent at the end. A good example of this is from An American Tail, when Fievel’s baby sister Yasha is completely nonexistent for the latter half of the movie.
If you’ve been following my blog this year, you’ll know that I had a baby about six months ago, and that I’m currently working on a fictional story about a woman who had a baby. The silly thing is, having those parallels is actually making it harder for me to write about motherhood.
I spend all day snuggling, kissing, playing with, and caring for my baby, then at night after the older kids go to bed and I settle down to work on my writing, I feel self-conscious about describing all of that. It’s a little too autobiographical.
And it’s bothering me enormously.
I’m going to add in more descriptions of motherhood when I rewrite it, but for now I feel like the first draft has a giant hole in it.
Chalk it up as part of the process.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Personal Note
This is the time of year when I typically slack off from writing and put more energy into holiday activities, but there’s a good chance that this year is going to be completely different. For starters, I have no interest in taking the kids out Christmas shopping.
I might get more into holiday baking, since I’ve always wanted to make one of those chocolate yule log cakes, but have always been too intimidated to try. Might as well give it a shot.
It’s hard to say what the next two months are going to look like, honestly.
Writing is my selfish activity. I love children — my kindergarten dream was to be a mom — but they scream a lot and make big messes. Writing is how I maintain my internal balance so I can deal. With the way the kids have been acting of late, I’m going to be doing a lot of dealing this winter. I’m gonna need as much balance as I can get.
And cake.
I have no clue if I’m going to be slacking off or not.
