Tag: blogging

About Me

Personal Update

Autumn

I’m at the point in pregnancy where I want to sit on the couch all day, eating buttery brownies while watching the first season of ‘Call the Midwife’. But I’ve got, like, four other kids to take care of, and they’re always hungry. And heck, I’ve never been any good at sitting around to begin with.

I just wish I could get my back muscles to be more cooperative.

Since my energy is waning and I’m losing my ability to focus, I’ll be blogging even less. I’m planning on taking the months of May and June off entirely, and schedule up whatever I have written of Alice and the Warden during that time, which will hopefully see me through. While it thoroughly impresses me that some women can have a baby without missing a beat, I am definitely not one of them.

And honestly,

I know I don’t see the world the same way most people do. In a way it kind of hurts to watch everyone else share in a collective experience, while being the outsider with a totally different perspective. But that’s how it’s always been.

So really, the timing is working out perfectly for me.

About Me

Quarantine Life

Autumn

After a weekend of rampant indulgence, it’s back to the grindstone . . .

So, the world is what it is. Duh.

When the internet started throwing around the phrase, ‘Social Distancing,’ I was the sort who said, “Lol, what’s the difference?” I’m pretty much a certified homebody, I avoid crowds, and it’s not like I have any friends that I hang out with anyway. I’ve been practicing “social distancing” for the last ten years, though I prefer call it things like, “introversion,” “homesteading,” and “homeschooling.”

As it would turn out, there is a difference.

My plans to pickle beets were totally dashed when all the nearby grocery stores sold out of white vinegar. Bummer.

And I take a great deal of comfort in the fact that we have a healthy supply of fabric diaper wipes, in case our package of toilet paper runs out before the stores get restocked. Not that we’ve been fanatically checking, but should the need arise . . .

Positively speaking, I actually do appreciate that it’s gotten harder to slip into laziness — I feel obligated to make my own brownies, instead of using the “Meh, I’m tired,” excuse to buy chemically-laden, GMO-ridden, food substitutes that are vaguely chocolate flavored. I tend to do that too much.

Anyway.

I felt an irrational sense of umbrage when I saw a news article talking about how the latest Animal Crossing game is making a good distraction during the quarantine. I’ve been a huge fan of the series ever since the game first came out on the N64 clear back in 2001, and I’ve spent ages and ages counting down to the release date of New Horizons. Heck, I pre-ordered the game before this whole pandemic thing began. I am not some simple boredom buster — I AM A HARDCORE FAN.

And I feel like my nerdiness is going to get lost underneath the masses of people who can’t figure out how to have hobbies on their own.

Seriously.

About Writing

Alice & Alicia

Autumn

Lately I’ve been devoting most of my free time to working on Alice and the Warden, and I haven’t been putting much energy into blogging — reading or writing. Since I consider writing fiction to be my strongest talent, I’m at peace with the idea of posting a new story section once a week and spending the rest of my time offline.

Totally not dead. Not snubbing anyone. Not bored and on the verge of disappearing. I’m just entering my third trimester, and feeling more introverted than usual. Still completely enamored with storytelling.

I do want to say this, however, in regards to Alice and the Warden:

I am aware that I named the baby Alicia.

I know that spoken out loud, Alice and Alicia are pronounced very differently, but in written form we’re merely swapping an ‘e’ for an ‘ia’.

I know that this can get visually confusing.

In fact, I even had an argument with Alice over it (yes, my own fictional character), and pointed out that in a story that is intended to be read, it would be easier if we named the baby something else. I was promptly informed that either I write the story as it comes to me, or I can forget writing the story at all.

So, I apologize if I accidentally type ‘Alice’ when I meant ‘Alicia’ (and vice versa). I’m doing my best to keep my brain and fingers on the correct course.

About Me

Spring Fever

Autumn

It’s that time of year when I have to take full advantage of every sunny day.

One of the perks of being a stay-at-home mom is that I no longer have to spend these days wistfully looking out of windows as Spring blossoms on the world; I just tell the kids to put their shoes on, and out we go. Sunshine is an essential nutrient for everyone, and we need to catch up after months of clouds. It’s a matter of health.

Of course, the streams and puddles of melting snow means that there’s mud everywhere, and the children are having a hay day.

I love opening the windows and cleaning out the stuffiness of winter.

I love listening to chirping birds, watching the tulips start to pop up from the ground, and the way the world returns to green.

Ah, Spring. So marvelous.

And endlessly beckoning me with a voice too strong to resist.

About Me

Even Moms

Autumn

I sat down to work on writing my story.

I had the 1.5-year-old solidly in my lap, flailing a balloon around and giggling.

The 8-year-old was listening to her favorite song on repeat.

The 4-year-old and 6-year-old were running around the darkened living room with a flashlight.

When all of a sudden it hit me that I was actually pulling it off.

Oh sure, my story wasn’t exactly progressing quickly, considering that I had to periodically move a balloon out of my face and all, but it was progressing. Despite all the chaos, I was actually getting some writing done.

And all I can feel is an awestruck sense of, “Wow.”

Once upon a time, I used to pray for the planets to align with nap times and quiet hours, then struggled with frustration when day after day refused to turn out the way I wanted it to. Finally, while my third was still a baby, I decided that I had enough and set my mind on writing Light Eternal, rain or shine.

That was late 2016. I finished the second draft a year later, then hung on to it for awhile out of indecision before officially publishing it in 2019. Phew.

In 2018 I had my fourth baby, and shortly afterwards started telling The Black Magus to myself during all the hours and hours and hours that I spent nursing. It wasn’t long before I figured out how to keep baby propped up on the pillow so I could write it down while the other children played video games. I am currently finishing the final proofread.

Some days, I have a harder time tuning out the noise and distractions, and having all the kids around probably isn’t helping me produce the highest quality of writing, but I have become a strong believer in persistence (and editing). It may take me forever to finish a novel, but progress is progress.

I’m blogging about this because I want other moms with small children to know that they can still have hobbies, without hiring a nanny or enlisting an army of babysitters. Guess what? You can still feel like a person with hopes and dreams, even with all the vacuuming and diaper changes.

You just need to find your zen, so to speak. Honestly evaluate what you’ve got to work with, and let go of the perfect scenarios that just aren’t going to happen. Find the spare time in between activities, and utilize it instead of killing it.

And I know: it’s hard. It took me eight years to get to this point, but I did it. Don’t ever give up.

About Me

Too Late?

Autumn

Sometimes I worry that I decided to jump into the whole ‘author’ thing a bit too late. Blogs are, like, totally old hat by now, and everyone has literally switched over to YouTube. Most of ’em haven’t read anything since Fifty Shades of Grey anyway.

The funny thing is, I was planning on retreating for the first half of this year, given that I’m expecting our fifth baby (omg that’s a lot of kids). Instead, the characters in my head have gotten louder, to the point that it’s meaningless to argue that I’ve got my own major life events going on. So, here I am, writing another story.

And I wonder: is there going to be an audience for novelettes posted on some random person’s blog? Even if I put tons of effort into marketing in my own way, will it ever amount to anything? It’s been ages since blogs were the hot new shiny item, and as much as I love fantasizing about being a crazy trend-breaker, I’m not sure if anyone else wants to go along with it.

Am I too late?

In a way, it’s also exciting to discover who’s still out there.

Hello, we’re the weirdos who stubbornly do our own thing, irregardless of where the masses have gone.

About Me

Having Fun

Autumn

I have a confession to make: I am a nerd.

Okay, so we probably already guessed that, with the whole “fantasy/sci fi writer who plays video games” thing that I’ve got going on, but it’s good to be clear.

Long story short, for Christmas I got an embroidery machine with the goal of learning how to make my own designs for it, because otherwise buying them would turn into a giant money-sink (and I’m stingy). ENTER OPEN SOURCE SOFTWARE.

For the month of January, I’ve been learning how to use Inkscape, and the InkStitch extension. The kids are thrilled that I took some of their drawings, traced them, then had the machine embroider them onto shirts for them. It was seriously cool.

So while I was riding the whole, “This is frustrating yet fun!” high, I decided to figure out GIMP, an open source program that’s kind of like Photoshop with more headaches.

‘Cause yeah, sure, why not go crazy.

Hence, graphics.

You’d think that I have enough hobbies by now.

About Writing

Lost Whimsy

Autumn

Lately YouTube has been recommending videos about ‘The Witcher’ to me (totally didn’t watch ’em).

It’s a title that I’ve known for several years because I dabble in video games, but it’s not something that I’ve ever been personally interested in. Basically, I know enough to understand the parody reference in ‘Graveyard Keeper’, but I’ve never considered playing ‘The Witcher’ myself, let alone reading any books.

I assumed that the title had been made into a movie or something, and once again dumped it into my “don’t care” bin.

The other day my husband and I decided to watch an episode of ‘Sherlock’, so we ventured outside of Netflix Kids for the first time since . . . ‘Stranger Things 3’ came out. Lo and behold, there was a giant advertisement for ‘The Witcher’! Mystery solved, it’s a Netflix Original.

Instead of watching ‘Sherlock’, I launched into a rant: “You know what I really hate? The fact that the mass media treats the fantasy genre like its synonymous with dark, gritty violence.”

Seriously.

The Chronicles of Narnia and the Hobbit have been reduced down to endless war scenes in their latest Hollywood remakes. Heck, even Twilight and Harry Potter end with drawn out battle scenes. All of the online Originals seem intent on portraying the most graphic violence they can. Game of Thrones is . . . what it is.

I miss the old fantasy movies, where everything is covered in glitter, unlikely characters protect babies, True Love conquers all, and David Bowie serenades a wide-eyed Jennifer Connelly while she’s wearing the most beautiful ballgown ever created.

I miss the whimsy that fantasy used to represent.

My umbrage isn’t even ‘for the children.’ It’s for me. I grew up in a world full of wars, mass shootings, terrorist attacks, and endless news stories about people dying in horrific ways. There’s only so much a person should be expected to take, you know? I’ve reached the point where I really want to escape with my escapism. I don’t want the endless reminders of how dark the real world can be. I don’t want to watch graphic violence and death. Enough is enough.

I want to laugh. I want to feel inspired. I want to swoon over how visually pretty that scene was. I want something to be excited about. I want Jennifer Connelly’s ballgown.

And I’m a fantasy geek, so I want it wrapped up with fairies and magic. Is that really too much to ask?

what-fashion-companies-try-to-sell-to-women-what-women-7555191

About Me

Surprise

Autumn

Early signs of pregnancy:

  • You go somewhere public and think, “Wow! There are a lot of newborns here.”
  • The kids start talking about wanting a new sibling.
  • Someone you know announces their pregnancy.

And thus, it was fate.

I have a harder time with thinking during pregnancy, and at the moment I’m drawing a complete blank on anything to blog about. Other than the obvious, anyway. I have decided that I might as well start keeping a journal for the next year, rather than vanish completely off the internet and leave everyone wondering, “Whatever happened to that crazy writer person? Wasn’t she supposed to be working on a novel?”

So

My first three pregnancies went smoothly enough, but baby #4 hit me with such awful morning sickness (more like all-day-and-occasionally-in-the-middle-of-the-night sickness)  that it caused me to lose weight and struggle enormously with dehydration during the first trimester. I’m absolutely terrified of repeating that experience, especially with my favorite holiday right around the corner.

So far, so good — knock on wood — but it’s still early enough that I could be in for anything during the upcoming weeks. Dinner is starting to consist of things like “buttered rice with corn,” and “stuffing, with cheesecake.” I’m sure my family already misses my usual cooking, but I’m not feeling it with most foods. Or flavors.

As for my novel: I’m 2/3rds of the way through with the rewrite. I had made it my personal goal to finish this step by the end of September (premonition? lol), but instead I got distracted with The Scion Suit and a number of real life activities. I still plan on finishing it completely within the next six months.

With any luck, “pregnancy brain” won’t kill my ability to write, lol.

About Me

Anonymity

Autumn

I like anonymity.

At this point, I’ve received so many disparaging comments about wasting my life as a stay-at-home-mom, I don’t want people to think that there’s any hope for me.

As a woman, I don’t believe that I’m obligated to prove my value as a person through masculine evaluations of quantities and numbers. I am not defined by a paycheck. My worth is found in the joy and beauty I offer to the world, and that includes raising happy, well-adjusted children. God knows the world needs more happy, well-adjusted people in it.

So don’t chain me down with your money. *spits*

I get a perverse delight over how upset random strangers get when they learn that I don’t lift a finger to earn a dime. I love flaunting that I’m wasting my life and smratness right in their ugly little faces. Ooo! You can’t do a thing about it! Ha ha!

…

You’re all like, “What a second, don’t you self publish on Kindle?”

Yes, yes I do.

I’ve discovered that I struggle a huge amount with posting chapters weekly, even when the novel is completely finished and all I have to do is copy-n-paste. While I was contemplating what to do about this problem of mine, Kindle was the word that kept repeating over and over in my mind, so that was that.

ANYway, the problem is anonymity is that, while it protects me from people getting all pushy about monetizing and whatnot in real life, it also prevents me from doing other things. Like posting an author photo and utilizing YouTube.

I do want to find readers, and I like quirky methods.

I might shed the invisibility cloak soon. Tell my mom what I’m up to and all that.

But only because I love you and I want to find you. We’re kindred spirits, you and I.