We kinda didn’t get around to spaying our cat over the last few months.
But look
Babies!
24 hours old.
My life is proof that women CAN have it all; I am both a wife/mother, AND a crazy cat lady.
XD
#OMGtoomanycats
Kittens
Just Randomness
The other day, my husband asked me, “What are you thinking about?”
I answered, “It would be fun to write a companion novella for Alice and the Warden, that’s collection of letters written by Damon while he’s in prison, to show how he evolves as a person before he finally meets his daughter when she’s all grown up.”
“This story has got you good,” my husband replied.
I think that I should devote more time to writing every day.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Knitting Patterns
My baby is teething. And I am so tired.
I’m one of those excessively creative sorts, and writing is just *one* of the things I do — since it’s my favorite, it’s the one I blog about. Ostensibly. Since I’m not particularly ‘plugged in,’ I usually work on some sort of yarn project when most others are on their phones. I know that this is an obsolete thing to say now, but once upon a time I used to be the only mom at the playground who wasn’t glued to a screen. You know, back when the world still existed.
Sometimes I think everything really did end back in 2012, and we just didn’t realize it at the time.
Don’t mind me … I’m not getting enough sleep.
So, one of my other dreams is to publish crochet and knitting patterns. I’ve already made a few of my own designs, too.
The problem comes with writing them down. Following a knitting pattern is one thing, but writing one is agonizingly boring. Then, of course, in order to make them more commercially friendly, you need to work out different sizes, as well as gauge. I’ve always found it much easier to simply hand the sweater/scarf/hat over to whichever child I made it for, for them to promptly lose in a giant mess of laundry, never to be seen again.
Then I tell myself that since I can’t take a picture anyway, there’s no point in writing down the pattern.
But I still think that I would like to come up with designs that are based on the stories I write. Like, “Alicia’s baby booties,” or “Gertie’s shawl.” It would be a fun way to share this magical world of mine outside of the stories.
So, I’ve decided that one of my 2021 goals is to design and publish at least one knitting pattern for Alice and the Warden.
Here’s hoping I actually make that happen?
Thank you for sharing my work!
AatW – Worthy of Love
Thank you for sharing my work!
Romance Genre
I’m not entirely sure which genre Alice and the Warden properly belongs to. I call it Romance because the primary focus is on the relationship between the two main characters, but it’s very different from your stereotypical romance novel — it’s not based on any self-serving fantasies (*cough*50 Shades*cough*) that the ‘romance’ label usually connotes.
I also joke that if AatW were Women’s Fiction, Alice would immediately put her baby in daycare, go to college in pursuit of friendship and career, and desperately seek to regain her “lost” years — while Hackett was relegated to the background as a supportive cardboard cutout. Bonus: She’d call herself a good mother after constantly complaining how much time and energy babies take up.
Then there’s the Damon chapters…
(Yes, I am fully aware that I could never be a Hallmark movie writer.)
It’s always a bit awkward saying, “I write romance,” because people automatically think of books like Twilight — the whole, “Oh, you’re just writing shallow fantasies about rich men off the top of your head,” reaction. Personally, I see it as a very serious topic; one that I’ve applied years of research and real life experience into, because frankly, successfully writing marriage and love actually requires a deep understanding of psychology and relationships, and doing it wrong alienates readers.
And yes, writing romance even requires a philosophical stance, too. I portray “complementary” relationships, instead of the more popular “egalitarian” model.
So maybe it’s time to revamp the “romance” genre to include actual research, to reflect how real relationships work, instead of being purely the realm of self-serving sexual fantasies.
Goal number two: Write romance that appeals to men, lol.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Introversion
I’m very introverted, and sometimes the ability to socialize just isn’t there. Not only am I unable to think of anything to say, I don’t have the energy to listen/read what anyone else has to say either, and I don’t even want to deal with anyone online or through texts. My husband occasionally teases me that if I were any more introverted, I’d be nonfunctional in society.
When I first became a mother, I worried about how I was going to raise and homeschool my children without going crazy. Being an introvert, my social circle is very small. I am also the black sheep of my extended family, so they’ve been a non-factor in my life (which is my polite way of saying I have zero contact with most of my relatives). Babysitting is not easy to come by, especially because I’m extremely distrustful of leaving my children with people I don’t know very well.
It took some time, but I found my zen.
Which wound up leaving me well positioned for the lockdowns.
While others are sobbing for a break from their children, I already have the routine and boundaries in place for me to thrive. Bonus: As an introvert, I don’t require much interaction with others.
What I had initially feared would be a weakness, turned out to be a strength.
Obviously, what works for me probably isn’t going to work for most other people, because my form of recharging involves going inside my own head (usually to explore story ideas), but my advice is:
…
Honestly, I don’t enjoy giving advice; I couldn’t care less what you do. It’s mostly that I’ve seen some people having nervous breakdowns, and thought to myself, “Phew, glad I’m not like that.” I want to share my personal thoughts more, but I worry too much about hurting other people’s feelings. I’m not trying to rub it in.
But seriously, I really don’t care what you do or don’t do. It’s your life, and if you want to have a nervous breakdown and wallow in depression, go right ahead. All power to you.
Thank you for sharing my work!
AatW – Dignity
Thank you for sharing my work!
2021
I’m going to be completely honest and tell you: I fully expect 2021 to be even worse.
You’re welcome.
Here’s the thing: Life isn’t a linear board game. The point isn’t to race to the end while accumulating the most money, and there aren’t any winners in the end.
Poets of the Fall is my favorite band, and the above quote comes from their song, “Love Will Come to You”. The lyrics continue on to say,
Life doesn’t run a clear course
It flows through from within
It’s supposed to take you places and leave markings on your skinAnd those marks are just a sign of something true
Poets of the Fall, Love will Come to You
you witnessed in your time
Of something new, like the start of something fine
Life is an adventure. Life is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Sometimes we are meant to survive the black plague, or huddle in shelters as the cities around us burn, or scrounge for meager scraps of food in the face of starvation. The fact is, life never has been, and never will be, a set course to follow. It requires far too much adaptation and perseverance.
Our ancestors were strong AF, and they passed that strength on to us. If you’re worried about your ability to make it through tough times, remember that the gift of strength was already given to you through countless generations that survived hardships we can’t imagine. This is our adventure and our legacy – our moment in history. Embrace it, and pass the gift of strength on to the future.
So yes, I do fully believe that 2021 will be much harder, but I also fully believe that it’s our time to show the Universe what we’re made of.
Thank you for sharing my work!
2020
A few years ago, a mormon bishop took it upon himself to inform me that my lifestyle was outdated, and that as a woman I needed to apply myself to a career instead of settling for being a simple stay-at-home-mom. He proclaimed this on a Sunday, while wearing a suit, with the authority of God and all that jazz.
And I thought to myself, “Wow, even the mormons don’t like me.”
If it was some sort of attempt at conversion, it had the exact opposite effect — and I’m still very much a stay-at-home mom. I guess the thing that people don’t understand is that I feel an enormous amount of passion about raising my children, and no criticism is going to change that. I’m not going to sell my soul for approval.
The one thing that I did take away from the exchange was that I am alone.
Totally, completely, alone.
I’ve met a lot of women who consider raising kids to be nothing more than a diversion from the ever-so-much-more-important career. Like paychecks are the only things that matter in life.
I’ve lived with the isolation ever since.
But here’s the funny thing about 2020: despite the lockdowns, social distancing, and rampant censorship, the one thing that I’ve learned is that I’m not alone.
There are a lot of people like me.
More than I would have expected, too.
We were just all too scared to say what we really thought before now.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Merry Christmas
There’s a decent chance that the children will be the death of me before Christmas. It’s been fun, but there comes a point where you just can’t keep putting off the inevitable. I go with peace.
Lol I wish.
We’re in the homestretch, which means that there’s a flurry of activities to accomplish before the big day, as well as wondering if I’m going to have any chance at all of finally making personalized Christmas stockings this year (probably not). It’s our tradition to decorate gingerbread houses with the kids, and I still have my heart set on making a yule log cake. And, of course, I need to finish sewing Christmas outfits for all the kids.
And the children are increasingly excited as they count down the days.
So I’m signing off to focus on the real world.
Wish me luck.
By Autumn Rain 