Animal Crossing: New Horizons was released today.
So you’ll probably never hear from me again.
.
.
.
LOL JK!
But dang, I sure could use some time relaxing after how this last week turned out.
Author: Autumn
I write 'n stuff.
Happy St Patrick’s Day
It’s my tradition to make an authentic Irish dinner every year for St. Patrick’s Day, but this year I was worried that we wouldn’t be able to find essential ingredients (like potatoes) with that whole, “the world has gone completely insane” thing.
To which my husband wittily replied, “Starvation is also very Irish.”
Ha ha ha.
But, through sheer heroism, my husband came through and managed to find everything on my list … except for barley.
I didn’t know people ate barley. I thought they were all gluten-free.
However, there wasn’t a single barley grain to be found anywhere.
So we’re substituting with farro. We’ll have to see how it turns out, but considering that it goes in the stew, I’m fairly certain it will be fine. Stew is forgiving. The kids will be too traumatized by the corned beef to notice anyway.
And St. Patty’s Day is still ON at our house! Oro!
No one’s invited. Social distancing, and all that. Can’t risk getting close enough to anyone to pinch them for not wearing green. LOL.
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Alice and the Warden – Table of Contents
Alice had gotten herself in over her head with a dangerous man, and ended up in prison for a crime that she did not commit. Locked alone in a tower in the middle of a forest, she finds herself and the value that she still possesses, as she seeks to prove that she deserves to keep her unborn child.
Somehow intertwined with it all, the Warden oversees her transformation and inspires her to keep trying.
Rated M for language, sexuality, alcohol, drug use, violence
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Alice & Alicia
Lately I’ve been devoting most of my free time to working on Alice and the Warden, and I haven’t been putting much energy into blogging — reading or writing. Since I consider writing fiction to be my strongest talent, I’m at peace with the idea of posting a new story section once a week and spending the rest of my time offline.
Totally not dead. Not snubbing anyone. Not bored and on the verge of disappearing. I’m just entering my third trimester, and feeling more introverted than usual. Still completely enamored with storytelling.
I do want to say this, however, in regards to Alice and the Warden:
I am aware that I named the baby Alicia.
I know that spoken out loud, Alice and Alicia are pronounced very differently, but in written form we’re merely swapping an ‘e’ for an ‘ia’.
I know that this can get visually confusing.
In fact, I even had an argument with Alice over it (yes, my own fictional character), and pointed out that in a story that is intended to be read, it would be easier if we named the baby something else. I was promptly informed that either I write the story as it comes to me, or I can forget writing the story at all.
So, I apologize if I accidentally type ‘Alice’ when I meant ‘Alicia’ (and vice versa). I’m doing my best to keep my brain and fingers on the correct course.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Quote from The Black Magus
Elias couldn’t shake the strange sensation that was overtaking him, the feeling that the future was shaping itself in that moment
-The Black Magus, by Autumn Rain
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Spring Fever
It’s that time of year when I have to take full advantage of every sunny day.
One of the perks of being a stay-at-home mom is that I no longer have to spend these days wistfully looking out of windows as Spring blossoms on the world; I just tell the kids to put their shoes on, and out we go. Sunshine is an essential nutrient for everyone, and we need to catch up after months of clouds. It’s a matter of health.
Of course, the streams and puddles of melting snow means that there’s mud everywhere, and the children are having a hay day.
I love opening the windows and cleaning out the stuffiness of winter.
I love listening to chirping birds, watching the tulips start to pop up from the ground, and the way the world returns to green.
Ah, Spring. So marvelous.
And endlessly beckoning me with a voice too strong to resist.
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Even Moms
I sat down to work on writing my story.
I had the 1.5-year-old solidly in my lap, flailing a balloon around and giggling.
The 8-year-old was listening to her favorite song on repeat.
The 4-year-old and 6-year-old were running around the darkened living room with a flashlight.
When all of a sudden it hit me that I was actually pulling it off.
Oh sure, my story wasn’t exactly progressing quickly, considering that I had to periodically move a balloon out of my face and all, but it was progressing. Despite all the chaos, I was actually getting some writing done.
And all I can feel is an awestruck sense of, “Wow.”
Once upon a time, I used to pray for the planets to align with nap times and quiet hours, then struggled with frustration when day after day refused to turn out the way I wanted it to. Finally, while my third was still a baby, I decided that I had enough and set my mind on writing Light Eternal, rain or shine.
That was late 2016. I finished the second draft a year later, then hung on to it for awhile out of indecision before officially publishing it in 2019. Phew.
In 2018 I had my fourth baby, and shortly afterwards started telling The Black Magus to myself during all the hours and hours and hours that I spent nursing. It wasn’t long before I figured out how to keep baby propped up on the pillow so I could write it down while the other children played video games. I am currently finishing the final proofread.
Some days, I have a harder time tuning out the noise and distractions, and having all the kids around probably isn’t helping me produce the highest quality of writing, but I have become a strong believer in persistence (and editing). It may take me forever to finish a novel, but progress is progress.
I’m blogging about this because I want other moms with small children to know that they can still have hobbies, without hiring a nanny or enlisting an army of babysitters. Guess what? You can still feel like a person with hopes and dreams, even with all the vacuuming and diaper changes.
You just need to find your zen, so to speak. Honestly evaluate what you’ve got to work with, and let go of the perfect scenarios that just aren’t going to happen. Find the spare time in between activities, and utilize it instead of killing it.
And I know: it’s hard. It took me eight years to get to this point, but I did it. Don’t ever give up.
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Alice and the Warden – 3
Alice had met Damon when she was sixteen-years-old, and he had talked her into bed with him that night. Shortly afterwards, she dropped out of school to run away with him on his motorcycle, and somewhere along the road she lost her sense of self.
When Damon asked her to have sex with a friend to repay a favor, she did it. When he wanted leverage over someone, she became a seductress on his behalf. He taught her to steal, chose her clothing for her, and pushed her into drugs and alcohol. After four years, Alice had disappeared completely underneath Damon, to the point that when he asked her to confess to murder, she did it without hesitation.
Until the moment Alice found herself alone in the stall of a public restroom, staring down at the two lines of a nicked pregnancy test, too numb to feel her heart beat. It was then that the word ‘dignity’ had risen up sharply in her mind, spoken by that stupid, impotent warden she had vowed to hate just three weeks prior.
Dignity.
She still didn’t know what it meant, but she knew that if she told Damon he would insist on an abortion, and she wouldn’t argue against him. That wasn’t what she wanted, and she knew that it wasn’t dignified to be so blindly obedient to someone like Damon. There was no doubt that he was the father, but she couldn’t trust him with her baby.
She never told him.
A couple weeks later, they checked into a motel where Damon began to undress her as usual, but Alice didn’t have it in her to go through with it. She was more tired than she had thought possible, slightly nauseated from the pregnancy, and angry at Damon for using her too much. For the first time ever, she snapped at him to ‘fuck off,’ then for a terrifying second afterward thought that he was going to hit her in response.
Instead, he grabbed his bag and left.
When dawn broke in the morning, Alice awoke with the realization that he hadn’t returned. She waited, staring at the clock until the motel staff chased her out to prepare the room for the next guest, and she drifted to a nearby diner to continue her wait, knowing full well that he wasn’t coming back for her.
She had a $20 hidden in her bra, so she ordered blueberry pancakes with whipped cream to help make up for skimping on dinner the night before, and she ate slowly as she wondered about what she was going to do. Her mom wasn’t going to want her back in the state she was in – especially after four years of estrangement – and everyone she knew was exactly like Damon. She didn’t have any resources, but she couldn’t live in the gutter with a baby growing inside of her.
By chance, the small TV in the corner of the diner showed a mugshot of her with the words, “Wanted for questioning.” Alice stared, seeing herself for the first time. That girl, glowering at the camera with flamingo pink hair and far too much eyeliner really looked like the sort of person who would be involved in murder, even though Alice had never felt that way on the inside – she didn’t want to hurt anyone.
She dialed the phone number provided on the screen with her cellphone, then put her $20 on the table before slipping outside.
With nowhere to go, Alice turned herself in.
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Quote from the Black Magus
Setting down the spatula, still laden with chocolate frosting, Elias calmly turned to face his death.
-The Black Magus, by Autumn Rain
Thank you for sharing my work!
Too Late?
Sometimes I worry that I decided to jump into the whole ‘author’ thing a bit too late. Blogs are, like, totally old hat by now, and everyone has literally switched over to YouTube. Most of ’em haven’t read anything since Fifty Shades of Grey anyway.
The funny thing is, I was planning on retreating for the first half of this year, given that I’m expecting our fifth baby (omg that’s a lot of kids). Instead, the characters in my head have gotten louder, to the point that it’s meaningless to argue that I’ve got my own major life events going on. So, here I am, writing another story.
And I wonder: is there going to be an audience for novelettes posted on some random person’s blog? Even if I put tons of effort into marketing in my own way, will it ever amount to anything? It’s been ages since blogs were the hot new shiny item, and as much as I love fantasizing about being a crazy trend-breaker, I’m not sure if anyone else wants to go along with it.
Am I too late?
In a way, it’s also exciting to discover who’s still out there.
Hello, we’re the weirdos who stubbornly do our own thing, irregardless of where the masses have gone.
By Autumn Rain 