Stories, The Scion Suit

Scion Part 2

But that wasnโ€™t what happened.

Hartmann was summoned back to the Base the next day, and waited in the bunker with no explanation of what was supposed to happen. He stared at the Suit and ached to touch it the way the cleaning lady did, but his training kept him in his position, ready to salute the moment a superior appeared to deliver orders. He mused over the possibility that some new intel had dropped, and he was on the verge of being sent out on another mission. In a matter of time, he would return home a hero, and the incident with Carol would be as forgotten as completely as she was.

What he did not anticipate was Captain Lambert to appear with Carol in tow. She was pale, and hid behind Lambertโ€™s large frame to avoid Hartmannโ€™s burning gaze, seeming even more timid and nervous than she had before. If he hadnโ€™t been so annoyed over her reappearance, he would have found her behavior cute.

โ€œMSG Hartmann,โ€ Lambert said brusquely, โ€œYou are to assist me in training a new pilot for the Suit.โ€

Hartmannโ€™s hackles rose sharply. โ€œWho?โ€ he demanded without any of the expected deference. โ€œThat bitch?โ€

Carolโ€™s eyes teared up as her head swung away, her hands wringing together as she tried to shrink into herself behind Lambertโ€™s back. It wasnโ€™t the captainโ€™s barked out punishment that twinged Hartmann with contrition, so much as the way Carol failed to defend herself against the word. He had expected her to bite back at him, to fling insults and posture as if she had a chance in a fight against him. Anything that would show that she thought of herself as too tough for him to feel guilty over. Compared to all the other women Hartmann had known, Carol seemed unnaturally quiet.

The way Lambert moved to shield her filled him with jealousy.

There was no way the captain was smitten with Carol. She was too pathetic and plain. All she had going for her was the fact that she cleaned the Suit โ€ฆ and the way her hair brushed the top of her petite shoulders, promising a feminine clavicle hidden underneath the neckline of her t-shirt. Hartmann thought about how she had felt under his hands, and how her soft muscles had struggled to pull away from him without any success.

Hartmann was the Suitโ€™s pilot, and Carol was the cleaning lady. If she was going to belong to anyone, it was going to be him.

Not Lambert.

But he was determined to punish her for turning his world upside down.

Hartmann added extra energy into every push up, boosting himself off the floor to clap before catching himself again, purely for the sake of showing off. When he was through, he smugly noted the displeasure on Lambertโ€™s face, and the amazement in Carolโ€™s eyes.

โ€œAs I was saying,โ€ Lambert continued gruffly, โ€œThe Suit considers Carol to be its โ€˜commander,โ€™ and orders have come down for us to train her on how to pilot it.โ€

โ€œYou expect me to believe that, sir?โ€ Hartmann narrowed his eyes.

โ€œI verified it myself.โ€ Lambert crossed his arms over his chest. โ€œDuring the incident you created, the Suit automatically turned on and welcomed Carol as the โ€˜commanderโ€™ while she was inside. She has full access to all the Suitโ€™s records, as well as a number of features that we never dreamed of. While you were lazing around at home, Carol and I were up digging through as much information as we could.โ€

Hartmann was lost for words. The muscle in his jaw twitched, but his teeth were locked together. He stared as Lambert proceeded to brush Carolโ€™s hair back and clip a receiver onto her t-shirt, stared as the cleaning lady looked to the captain for reassurance who in turn gave her a small nod, and stared as she climbed up the ramp and enclosed herself inside the Suit. His Suit.

โ€œCarol,โ€ Lambert spoke into his radio, and it crackled as she replied,

โ€œHere, sir.โ€

Then, disbelievingly, a computer voice sounded over the radio: โ€œWelcome back, Commander.โ€

Was that why Carol had slid out of the Suit in an inexplicable daze the day before? Did she genuinely have a connection with it that he could never understand?

It wasnโ€™t fair.

He was the best pilot.

He got the most important missions.

Why should the cleaning lady appear out of nowhere and take away his glory?

โ€œNow, Carol, MSG Hartmann is going to be a good boy and coach you through how to move the Suit. Donโ€™t worry, Iโ€™ll make sure that he plays nice,โ€ Lambert spoke into his end of the radio, then gave Hartmann a warning scowl as he handed it over. โ€œI mean it,โ€ he growled. โ€œFollow orders, and play nice.โ€

โ€œYes, sir,โ€ Hartmann replied sulkily, then found his throat too thick to speak to Carol. He had to clear it first, then pushed the button to transmit, โ€œThe best way to explain it is that you connect your mind to the Suit, and after that walking should be as intuitive as it is with your own body. Donโ€™t overthink it; just let it happen naturally.โ€

Silence answered, and Hartmann wished that Carol was more verbal. He missed the nonstop noise that usually surrounded women, that left no mystery as to what they were thinking. Dealing with Carol felt a lot like going up against a wall, with no way of knowing what he was going to find on the other side if he managed to break it down. It was frustrating. Unnerving.

Then the Suit took a step forward, and the two men jumped back as the screech of twisting metal filled the bunker. In one fell swoop, Carol had completely destroyed the ramp.

Hartmann stared as a grin crept across his face, then doubled over in laughter. Lambert cussed profusely, shouting into the radio, โ€œGod fucking dammit, Carol! Watch where youโ€™re going!โ€ It was satisfying to imagine her crying inside the cockpit as the captain continued ranting, โ€œYou are in a formidable piece of equipment, so do not destroy the base through stupidity and incompetence. Do you understand!โ€

โ€œYes, sir. Sorry, sir,โ€ Carolโ€™s voice sounded broken, but her mental connection with the Suit was continuing to improve. Hartmann could see that it was imitating her body language, trying to curl up and disappear, which was comical for a 12-foot mecha. There were definitely tears on her cheeks, and it was time for him to wipe them away, so to speak.

He reached over to take the radio back, and purred, โ€œDonโ€™t sweat it, that was only the ramp. Give your legs a stretch, and see how it feels โ€ฆ just remember to be mindful of your surroundings.โ€

Lambert crossed his arms over his chest and growled, โ€œGet her to the airfield, then join me in the jeep.โ€

Hartmann was satisfied as Lambert stormed away, certain that his sour mood wasnโ€™t over the wrecked ramp. โ€œAll right, the captain wants us outside,โ€ he spoke into the radio. โ€œYou up for it?โ€

โ€œYes, sir,โ€ Carol replied dutifully, so he answered playfully,

โ€œSave that for the captain. I want you to call me โ€ฆ master sergeant.โ€

She was silent, confused by his behavior as she went through the massive double doors that had been pulled open, and Hartmann followed her outside, ordering her to jog down the length of the airfield.

He dropped his affectation as soon as he was seated next to Lambert in the jeep. Carol was adapting to the Suit much faster than he had, despite his intuitive grasp of it, and the way she moved around the airfield was too natural โ€“ to the point of becoming unnatural. Hartmann knew that he was the best damn pilot to ever climb inside the Suit, but that was all he did: pilot. Carol, on the other hand โ€ฆ she was inhabiting it like a second skin, especially as she was becoming more and more comfortable with moving around the airfield. It crossed his mind that, with the way she was catching on, the Suit could have been made for her.

Commander.

Hartmann had been in the military for far too long to let anything show on his face. His instructions to Carol over the radio became more mechanical and routine, but his thoughts remained perfectly hidden. He almost managed to keep them from himself, but as he stared it was undeniable that she was better at maneuvering the Suit than he was, even despite lacking the discipline that would have given her grace and efficiency.

โ€œThe Suit is following her body language more than I expected,โ€ Lambert muttered beside Hartmann, though he was speaking more to himself. โ€œSheโ€™ll need to be physically trained to clean up that sloppiness.โ€

Hartmann shrugged, muttering โ€œYes, sir,โ€ when he failed to come up with an obnoxious reply. He had never watched the way he piloted the Suit from the outside, and he wondered if it responded similarly to his movements, or acted more like a robot.

Lambert continued, reluctantly saying, โ€œYou will work with her on the track this afternoon while I attend to other duties. You will be courteous, considerate, and respectful, and you will not make her cry. Understand?โ€

โ€œYes, sir,โ€ Hartmann echoed. He had to stop himself from asking why the captain cared so much about the cleaning ladyโ€™s feelings in a world where tender emotions were a dangerous weakness. He already knew the answer.

Sometime later when they were back inside the bunker, Carol parked the Suit in its usual place, opened the doors, then stood hesitantly looking down at the drop to the floor. Hartmann wondered why she hadnโ€™t kneeled in the Suit first, given that she was the one who destroyed the ramp and knew damn well that it wouldnโ€™t be there, but Lambert stepped forward and held up his arms.

โ€œCome on, we havenโ€™t got all day,โ€ he snapped, but Hartmann recognized the false gruffness of someone who had adapted to his rank to survive.

She cautiously dropped down to Lambert, and his hands closed around her waist as he lowered her to the floor. His fingertips curled in slightly, and trailed along her t-shirt as he pulled his hands away, his face too stony to be anything other than a mask. Carol was appropriately oblivious, which Hartmann found soothing; he wasnโ€™t the only one she completely failed to notice.

โ€œGet some lunch, then report to MSG Hartmann for physical training,โ€ Lambert ordered. โ€œLike it or not, weโ€™re going to beat the civilian out of you, commander.โ€

โ€œYes, sir,โ€ Carol replied, then turned and trotted to join some corporal that Hartmann only vaguely recognized. An assigned escort, he hoped.

Having time alone with Carol was going to give Hartmann the advantage, and if he worked his magic right, Lambert wasnโ€™t going to stand a chance. Underneath the boring beige of her existence, heโ€™d bet anything that Carol was still a woman, and still susceptible to his charms.

If the Suit couldnโ€™t belong to him anymore, then he was going to claim ownership of the next best thing.

About Me

The Importance of Self-Expression in Writing

I went and gussied up some of the old posts I made about my writing process that I’m still proud of.

It wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing to do, but those AI features made it much easier, and even gave me a chuckle with some of the quirky generated images. Will it matter at all? Heck if I know. I barely know what SEO even is, and I’m not all that convinced that it will do anything to boost my blog stats. But, at the very least, it makes me feel like a more attentive blogger,

And attentive bloggers blog more often. So there.

I want to write about myself more, and think about myself more. I feel like I’ve spent years listening to someone go on and on about himself, and every time I said anything like, “I have a dream too!” I was instantly shut down. “Whoa there. Getting full of yourself, aren’t you?”

But it isn’t egotistical to have dreams about where I want my life to go. Maybe I won’t end up in a big house on the bench of the mountain, but I can still watch the sunset glint off those enormous windows as I drive by and wonder what it would be like to live there. It’s not wrong to feel inspired to pursue success for myself.

It’s not wrong to believe that I have skills and talents. It’s not wrong to think about how I can use those skills and talents to make my way in the world. The Universe didn’t designate me to sit in the dark as a permanent audience member — I have a passion for writing that I want to share with the world, and I genuinely believe that I can offer something that others would enjoy.

And it’s not wrong for me to exist as a real person writing about my real experiences. “Dear diary, today I went with the kids to the park. The breeze was cold but the sun was hot, and the public restrooms are finally open for the season.” My thoughts and perceptions are valid, and I want the freedom to express them without wondering who might disagree with them.

I still have my own opinions and philosophies about writing, and I still want to write about them. Maybe soon enough, I’ll be able to take those old posts and rewrite them — expound on them — and compile something that could even be published as a “how to” type book. ~Writing With Autumn Rain~ Forward by ChatGPT

And maybe I’ll finally figure out why SEO matters.

About Me

Overcoming Writing Insecurities: My Journey

I find it encouraging that my fiction writing is still performing the best in my blog statistics.

I’ve been working on overcoming the memory of that smug voice telling me that my writing ideas were cliched and immature. Despite that proclamation, I continued writing my ideas. Alice and the Warden? Me. The Scion Suit? My interpretation of a writing prompt. The Black Magus? Yup, that was me. I enjoyed writing my ideas immensely, and others have enjoyed reading them as well, so it doesn’t matter if they were “cliched” or “immature” — it isn’t about being the best of the best, it’s about personal satisfaction and having fun.

It wasn’t really my ideas that were the problem. Rather, it was the seed planted in my brain that made me feel like I had to seek a stamp of approval before I could write them. That deep insecurity and fear I always felt when I started a story that hadn’t been given the “green light” by someone else.

Yet that person who had propped himself up as the Gatekeeper of Quality left.

It might be difficult to understand if you haven’t been through this, but when someone deliberately inflicts an emotional wound so that they can provide the “cure,” that wound is still there after they leave. Real healing takes time and is very difficult, especially when you feel the withdrawal from the false cures they fed you. It hurts severely to acknowledge that they weren’t trying to help you improve, but instead deliberately keeping you dependent.

Despite knowing better on a cognitive level, it’s been terrifying to write without that stamp of approval.

I’ve switched back to writing with a pen in a notebook, but unfortunately my handwriting muscles aren’t what they used to be (I blame the years spent typing). It reminds me of being a teenager, secretly filling page after page with my characters in novels that will never see the light of day, though now my end goal is to publish. I haven’t given up on my dream of being a professional author; it’s always there in my mind through every moment of every day.

All I need to do is write without holding anything back.

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Five words that every writer should avoid using (funny)

Literally – Literally everyone says it

Actually – It’s been copyrighted by the online debate crowd

Just – Just don’t

Very – It’s very very bad.

Milquetoast – It’s spelled weird.

And that’s it! Now you are ready to make your dreams come true and live your best life. Wishing you all a good writing journey!

About Me

Overcoming Writer’s Process: Navigating Life’s Challenges

One of those big and glaringly obvious things about trying to make a living as an indie author is that you have to, you know, write books to make it happen.

Ha ha, yeah, I’ll get around to it.

Currently my actual progress with novel writing is quite small. Currently my mind is a little too preoccupied with the real world to think that much about my fictional ones. I wouldn’t say, “writer’s block”, but I’m definitely still deep in “writer’s process.” And while I’m kinda wishing that I was more of an escapist sort, I need to get a real-world foundation built under me before I can start dreaming.

There is a slightly pragmatic element to me.

So instead of thinking about Malachi and Lyra, running around and doing things in Runemaster, I’m thinking about boring adult things like my credit score. I’m figuring out how to structure my day so that I can have time for everything that needs to be done. I’m trying to remember to stay hydrated and get some fresh air and sunshine. I’m adjusting to a major life change. I’m stopping a four-year-old and a two-year-old from spitting at each other across the room, because despite how cute and little they are, it’s also kinda gross.

What I need is time. I wish that life came with a pause button that I could smack every time I needed a moment to think and process, but the sun continues to rise and fall the same way that it always has and always will. I don’t know if I’m counting down the days to a deadline, or if I’ll have all the time I need. And it’s easy to get caught up in the stress.

So I remind myself not to make any decisions based on fear. I can be logical. I can follow what my heart truly wants. But I won’t let myself succumb to fear; that’s not how I want to live the rest of my life. I know deep in my heart that writing is the only thing that I have any real ambition for, so that’s where I’m throwing all my energy.

However, I’m not going to lie: having a fire tickling my behind is also proving itself to be great motivation. I might not be deep into writing yet, but I’m thinking a lot about the marketing aspect and learning new skills.

My life right now

Speaking of marketing, that whole “SEO optimization” makes me feel awkward. There’s nothing poetic about it, and it’s definitely not natural to my way of thinking.

“Calls to action” are also something that are currently uncomfortable. Should I really end my blog posts with, “Now that I’ve shared how my life is a train wreck, tell me about your own train wrecks in the comments below!” Is that appropriate?

But what the hey, let’s commiserate a little bit. What are you struggling with in your life right now?

About Me

Navigating Marketing Like Dating: A Writer’s Journey

I confess that as I’ve been researching marketing, I keep having the thought that it would be easier for me to get remarried instead.

It’s not that I find the idea of marketing to be morally repugnant or anything — hey, once a story is deemed finished, I can cut that metaphorical umbilical cord and throw it out into the world for consumption; no problems there — but the idea of managing a platform and brand sounds so overwhelmingly draining. I’ve never been the sort to wave my arms and cry out, “Look at me!” and it frankly scares me to do so.

At the same time, I’m also aware that dating and marketing probably aren’t all that different. Target demographic: Men, 40’s, divorced with children. Product: One domestic engineer — I can cook, clean, and laugh at all your jokes! The main difference is that I have lots of experience in a companionship and support role, and have otherwise done my best to remain invisible to everyone else in every other capacity. What can I say, I’m shy. LOL.

And honestly, it just hurts to dedicate my life to household management, childcare, budgeting, and culinary arts, only to be abruptly ousted out of my career. Like, hey, I really enjoyed doing that! Please just let me cook dinner.

But I have no idea what my life is supposed to be or where it’s supposed to go, so I’m just going to pick a direction and blindly follow it until I hit a sign or something. And since I love writing so much, that’s where I’m trying to go.

Target demographic: People who love genre romances with strong characterization, deep philosophical discussions, a touch of wholesomeness, and a sprinkle of sordid. Product: My novels.

See? That wasn’t so bad. Now I just need to wave my arms in the air and shout, “Look at me!”

I wouldn’t go out on a date without putting on deodorant first, and in the same vein I should gussy up my books to make them appealing and not stinky. However, I would also never put on fake eyelashes, since that’s not in my personality and not the sort of precedent that I want to set — I’d prefer someone who likes my minimal makeup style. So … I shouldn’t try to make my novels seem like something that they’re not.

The main difference is, of course, that in dating I would just be searching for the One to settle down with, while in marketing I’d be searching for … a lot more. I’m not sure if there is an end goal in marketing, and that’s a little much to wrap my mind around.

And as of yet, I have no idea if being a professional writer will provide the same warm fuzzies that sharing a home cooked meal does.

But you know how it is when life throws you a curve ball. Sometimes all you can do is adapt and stumble around blindly until something new works out.

Books

Cover Design for Alice and the Warden by Autumn Rain

Alice had lost her sense of self. She had fallen in with a stereotypical bad boy named Damon, and as the mistakes heaped higher the more trapped she felt in the rebellious life she led. However, when Damon pushed circumstances to their breaking point, and Alice fell into legal troubles that there was no escape from. A chance encounter with the local Warden began a process of self-discovery for Alice, as she she asked herself the question, “What does it mean to have dignity?”

Available only on Amazon.


Base image created with Stable Diffusion, and everything else added in Canva.

About Me

Cover Design for The Black Magus by Autumn Rain

What happens when the world’s most powerful magus falls in love?

Ainmire has long since lost his connection with his humanity, existing as more of a shadow that looms over the Order of the Magi, focused more on doing what was necessary rather than on what he wanted. However, after the Order gave the orders for the assassination of the Red Magus, Ainmire has a chance encounter with the Red Magus’s beautiful and vivacious daughter, Lily … and changes his mind. He refuses to follow through with the assassination, and instead pursues Lily with the intent of marriage, rediscovering the human side of himself along the way.

It doesn’t matter how many enemies he makes with his change of goals, because no one comes even close to matching his ability to wield magic. After all, who’s going to stop him?

Available only on Amazon.


Base image generated with Stable Diffusion, and everything else added using Canva.

Redesigning the covers for my novels.

Still feeling rather insecure about the process, particularly since I’m not as visually motivated as everyone else, so I don’t really know what it is about covers that scream, “Buy me now!” (Same way that I don’t really understand why arranging food in a fancy way makes people think it tastes better). But I’m perfectly aware that covers are what initially hook people into cracking open a book, so I’m doing my best to learn.

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Runemaster: My Process of Writing and AI Art Creation

I made a video!

I know I know, I’m very amateur and should probably be embarrassed — and one day I will be! But for now, everyone has to start somewhere.

So yes, that’s my voice. You know how it is when you’re not used to the sound of your recorded voice, so you keep asking yourself over and over, “Is that really what I sound like?” I’m totally mortified! ๐Ÿ˜…

But you know, this was fun! Expect more videos in the future.

The runes at the bottom of the thumbnail are: Solwilo, Othala, Isa, and Berkana — sun, inheritance, ice, and birch tree.