Stories, The Scion Suit

Scion Part 2

But that wasnโ€™t what happened.

Hartmann was summoned back to the Base the next day, and waited in the bunker with no explanation of what was supposed to happen. He stared at the Suit and ached to touch it the way the cleaning lady did, but his training kept him in his position, ready to salute the moment a superior appeared to deliver orders. He mused over the possibility that some new intel had dropped, and he was on the verge of being sent out on another mission. In a matter of time, he would return home a hero, and the incident with Carol would be as forgotten as completely as she was.

What he did not anticipate was Captain Lambert to appear with Carol in tow. She was pale, and hid behind Lambertโ€™s large frame to avoid Hartmannโ€™s burning gaze, seeming even more timid and nervous than she had before. If he hadnโ€™t been so annoyed over her reappearance, he would have found her behavior cute.

โ€œMSG Hartmann,โ€ Lambert said brusquely, โ€œYou are to assist me in training a new pilot for the Suit.โ€

Hartmannโ€™s hackles rose sharply. โ€œWho?โ€ he demanded without any of the expected deference. โ€œThat bitch?โ€

Carolโ€™s eyes teared up as her head swung away, her hands wringing together as she tried to shrink into herself behind Lambertโ€™s back. It wasnโ€™t the captainโ€™s barked out punishment that twinged Hartmann with contrition, so much as the way Carol failed to defend herself against the word. He had expected her to bite back at him, to fling insults and posture as if she had a chance in a fight against him. Anything that would show that she thought of herself as too tough for him to feel guilty over. Compared to all the other women Hartmann had known, Carol seemed unnaturally quiet.

The way Lambert moved to shield her filled him with jealousy.

There was no way the captain was smitten with Carol. She was too pathetic and plain. All she had going for her was the fact that she cleaned the Suit โ€ฆ and the way her hair brushed the top of her petite shoulders, promising a feminine clavicle hidden underneath the neckline of her t-shirt. Hartmann thought about how she had felt under his hands, and how her soft muscles had struggled to pull away from him without any success.

Hartmann was the Suitโ€™s pilot, and Carol was the cleaning lady. If she was going to belong to anyone, it was going to be him.

Not Lambert.

But he was determined to punish her for turning his world upside down.

Hartmann added extra energy into every push up, boosting himself off the floor to clap before catching himself again, purely for the sake of showing off. When he was through, he smugly noted the displeasure on Lambertโ€™s face, and the amazement in Carolโ€™s eyes.

โ€œAs I was saying,โ€ Lambert continued gruffly, โ€œThe Suit considers Carol to be its โ€˜commander,โ€™ and orders have come down for us to train her on how to pilot it.โ€

โ€œYou expect me to believe that, sir?โ€ Hartmann narrowed his eyes.

โ€œI verified it myself.โ€ Lambert crossed his arms over his chest. โ€œDuring the incident you created, the Suit automatically turned on and welcomed Carol as the โ€˜commanderโ€™ while she was inside. She has full access to all the Suitโ€™s records, as well as a number of features that we never dreamed of. While you were lazing around at home, Carol and I were up digging through as much information as we could.โ€

Hartmann was lost for words. The muscle in his jaw twitched, but his teeth were locked together. He stared as Lambert proceeded to brush Carolโ€™s hair back and clip a receiver onto her t-shirt, stared as the cleaning lady looked to the captain for reassurance who in turn gave her a small nod, and stared as she climbed up the ramp and enclosed herself inside the Suit. His Suit.

โ€œCarol,โ€ Lambert spoke into his radio, and it crackled as she replied,

โ€œHere, sir.โ€

Then, disbelievingly, a computer voice sounded over the radio: โ€œWelcome back, Commander.โ€

Was that why Carol had slid out of the Suit in an inexplicable daze the day before? Did she genuinely have a connection with it that he could never understand?

It wasnโ€™t fair.

He was the best pilot.

He got the most important missions.

Why should the cleaning lady appear out of nowhere and take away his glory?

โ€œNow, Carol, MSG Hartmann is going to be a good boy and coach you through how to move the Suit. Donโ€™t worry, Iโ€™ll make sure that he plays nice,โ€ Lambert spoke into his end of the radio, then gave Hartmann a warning scowl as he handed it over. โ€œI mean it,โ€ he growled. โ€œFollow orders, and play nice.โ€

โ€œYes, sir,โ€ Hartmann replied sulkily, then found his throat too thick to speak to Carol. He had to clear it first, then pushed the button to transmit, โ€œThe best way to explain it is that you connect your mind to the Suit, and after that walking should be as intuitive as it is with your own body. Donโ€™t overthink it; just let it happen naturally.โ€

Silence answered, and Hartmann wished that Carol was more verbal. He missed the nonstop noise that usually surrounded women, that left no mystery as to what they were thinking. Dealing with Carol felt a lot like going up against a wall, with no way of knowing what he was going to find on the other side if he managed to break it down. It was frustrating. Unnerving.

Then the Suit took a step forward, and the two men jumped back as the screech of twisting metal filled the bunker. In one fell swoop, Carol had completely destroyed the ramp.

Hartmann stared as a grin crept across his face, then doubled over in laughter. Lambert cussed profusely, shouting into the radio, โ€œGod fucking dammit, Carol! Watch where youโ€™re going!โ€ It was satisfying to imagine her crying inside the cockpit as the captain continued ranting, โ€œYou are in a formidable piece of equipment, so do not destroy the base through stupidity and incompetence. Do you understand!โ€

โ€œYes, sir. Sorry, sir,โ€ Carolโ€™s voice sounded broken, but her mental connection with the Suit was continuing to improve. Hartmann could see that it was imitating her body language, trying to curl up and disappear, which was comical for a 12-foot mecha. There were definitely tears on her cheeks, and it was time for him to wipe them away, so to speak.

He reached over to take the radio back, and purred, โ€œDonโ€™t sweat it, that was only the ramp. Give your legs a stretch, and see how it feels โ€ฆ just remember to be mindful of your surroundings.โ€

Lambert crossed his arms over his chest and growled, โ€œGet her to the airfield, then join me in the jeep.โ€

Hartmann was satisfied as Lambert stormed away, certain that his sour mood wasnโ€™t over the wrecked ramp. โ€œAll right, the captain wants us outside,โ€ he spoke into the radio. โ€œYou up for it?โ€

โ€œYes, sir,โ€ Carol replied dutifully, so he answered playfully,

โ€œSave that for the captain. I want you to call me โ€ฆ master sergeant.โ€

She was silent, confused by his behavior as she went through the massive double doors that had been pulled open, and Hartmann followed her outside, ordering her to jog down the length of the airfield.

He dropped his affectation as soon as he was seated next to Lambert in the jeep. Carol was adapting to the Suit much faster than he had, despite his intuitive grasp of it, and the way she moved around the airfield was too natural โ€“ to the point of becoming unnatural. Hartmann knew that he was the best damn pilot to ever climb inside the Suit, but that was all he did: pilot. Carol, on the other hand โ€ฆ she was inhabiting it like a second skin, especially as she was becoming more and more comfortable with moving around the airfield. It crossed his mind that, with the way she was catching on, the Suit could have been made for her.

Commander.

Hartmann had been in the military for far too long to let anything show on his face. His instructions to Carol over the radio became more mechanical and routine, but his thoughts remained perfectly hidden. He almost managed to keep them from himself, but as he stared it was undeniable that she was better at maneuvering the Suit than he was, even despite lacking the discipline that would have given her grace and efficiency.

โ€œThe Suit is following her body language more than I expected,โ€ Lambert muttered beside Hartmann, though he was speaking more to himself. โ€œSheโ€™ll need to be physically trained to clean up that sloppiness.โ€

Hartmann shrugged, muttering โ€œYes, sir,โ€ when he failed to come up with an obnoxious reply. He had never watched the way he piloted the Suit from the outside, and he wondered if it responded similarly to his movements, or acted more like a robot.

Lambert continued, reluctantly saying, โ€œYou will work with her on the track this afternoon while I attend to other duties. You will be courteous, considerate, and respectful, and you will not make her cry. Understand?โ€

โ€œYes, sir,โ€ Hartmann echoed. He had to stop himself from asking why the captain cared so much about the cleaning ladyโ€™s feelings in a world where tender emotions were a dangerous weakness. He already knew the answer.

Sometime later when they were back inside the bunker, Carol parked the Suit in its usual place, opened the doors, then stood hesitantly looking down at the drop to the floor. Hartmann wondered why she hadnโ€™t kneeled in the Suit first, given that she was the one who destroyed the ramp and knew damn well that it wouldnโ€™t be there, but Lambert stepped forward and held up his arms.

โ€œCome on, we havenโ€™t got all day,โ€ he snapped, but Hartmann recognized the false gruffness of someone who had adapted to his rank to survive.

She cautiously dropped down to Lambert, and his hands closed around her waist as he lowered her to the floor. His fingertips curled in slightly, and trailed along her t-shirt as he pulled his hands away, his face too stony to be anything other than a mask. Carol was appropriately oblivious, which Hartmann found soothing; he wasnโ€™t the only one she completely failed to notice.

โ€œGet some lunch, then report to MSG Hartmann for physical training,โ€ Lambert ordered. โ€œLike it or not, weโ€™re going to beat the civilian out of you, commander.โ€

โ€œYes, sir,โ€ Carol replied, then turned and trotted to join some corporal that Hartmann only vaguely recognized. An assigned escort, he hoped.

Having time alone with Carol was going to give Hartmann the advantage, and if he worked his magic right, Lambert wasnโ€™t going to stand a chance. Underneath the boring beige of her existence, heโ€™d bet anything that Carol was still a woman, and still susceptible to his charms.

If the Suit couldnโ€™t belong to him anymore, then he was going to claim ownership of the next best thing.

The Scion Suit

Scion Part 1

Master sergeant Hartmann wasnโ€™t certain when he had first begun to notice the cleaning lady. Two years prior, more for the sake of politics than anything else, the General had declared that they were going to improve national security by limiting the soldiersโ€™ access to the Suit, and a civilian was picked out of the Baseโ€™s janitorial staff to be the designated caretaker of the militaryโ€™s top asset. It turned out to be a plain, mousy woman, who quietly devoted herself to the job then faded into the background as another functioning cog, and business moved on as usual.

Hartmann was by far the best at piloting the Suit. Although it was alien technology, he had an intuitive understanding of how to operate it, and was consequently given all of the important missions. He had already been considered something of a hero due to his โ€˜braveryโ€™ and โ€˜leadershipโ€™ beforehand, but the Suit had skyrocketed him to the status of a superstar. He was worshiped by those below his rank, and greatly respected by those above. It was unspoken, but everyone pinned their hopes of winning the war on his abilities, and he was more than willing to accept the mantle.

Yet, somehow, the moments he had spent basking in the adulation of a job well done melted away as the cleaning lady took up more and more of his awareness.

There were moments when it was comical to watch her, a slim 5โ€™4โ€ woman standing on a stepladder with a soapy sponge, contrasted against the 12-foot mecha that she rigorously scrubbed. However, when she worked on detailing the interior, it stung to realize that she was more intimately familiar with the Suit than he was. He felt like the interloper, good for a wild ride before the Suit returned home to its loving family. He never had the liberty to simply touch and examine the Suit, no matter how much time he spent inside.

To make it worse, the cleaning lady was completely unaware of him. Hartmann was attractive and muscular, with sandy blonde hair and sharp eyes, and took it for granted that women would preen and flirt as they competed for his attention. The cleaning lady, however, never smiled nor brushed her hair behind her ear; her eyes slid over him as if he was any other uniform in a sea of soldiers. He had even bumped into her deliberately to see her reaction, but she had tersely apologized then skirted around him, never quite managing to raise her eyes to his face during the entire exchange. The other soldiers had snickered, and someone had said, โ€œI guess you arenโ€™t her type,โ€ as Hartmann stared after her, his face hard.

That was two strikes against her.

In between missions, he kept an apartment off Base, and he liked to amuse himself by taking out a few of his buddies to pick up women at bars and clubs. The thrill of simply bedding them had vanished years ago, but he still got his kicks out of playing with them. He had developed a good eye for finding the ones that were attractive enough to be worthwhile, but still had the shadow of desperation that spoke of a willingness to do anything. That night, he imagined that he had the cleaning lady in his clutches, and pushed the woman to a level of filthy that he had never gone to before. Unsatisfied with how easy it had been to control and degrade her, he sent her away from his apartment with one of his friends, and from the way she giggled, he knew that she was up for another round of debauchery.

Alone, he knew the folly of his fantasy. The cleaning lady was the sort who spent her evenings curled up with a book and a glass of wine โ€“ she would never be under his power.

So he watched her. He watched her clean his Suit, watched her love what should have been his, all the while knowing that she was untouchable. The cleaning lady was ranked above him, the master sergeant.

And that was strike three.

She didnโ€™t notice when he approached her, intent on wiping down the headrest inside the Suit with a soft cloth to remove all traces of Hartmannโ€™s earlier presence. He didnโ€™t know what he wanted to accomplish, exactly, but he laid his hand on her shoulder and startled her. When her head twisted around, their eyes met for the first time.

โ€œCan I help you?โ€ she asked, fidgeting uncomfortably as her knuckles turned white around the cloth. He stared, taking in the strands of brown hair stuck to the side of her face, and the awkward water spill that soaked the front of her thick, baggy t-shirt. It was a shame that she was oblivious to her appearance, he considered, because the curves of her neck and jawline werenโ€™t half bad.

โ€œYou ever been inside?โ€ he asked, nodding towards the Suit. Compulsively, his fingers found the crook of her neck, but she flushed and pulled away.

โ€œOf course not. Iโ€™m not authorized,โ€ she replied sharply, though her voice trembled. Hartmann was satisfied to know that she was afraid.

โ€œYou know who I am?โ€ he asked, and he grabbed her arm to keep her pinned.

She had to swallow hard before she could hoarsely reply, โ€œOne of the pilots.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m the fucking pilot,โ€ he hissed, pushing her back against the door frame of the Suit. โ€œMaster sergeant Hartmann. Youโ€™re just the fucking cleaning lady.โ€

She nodded and squeaked, โ€œOkay.โ€

โ€œYou have no right to love the Suit โ€“ youโ€™re a nobody.โ€ He wondered why she didnโ€™t scream. The back of his neck prickled as others in the bunker were beginning to take notice, but as long as they kept their distance he didnโ€™t care. Something kept her paralyzed, even as he pulled the stuck strands of hair loose from her cheek. โ€œYouโ€™re going to quit this job,โ€ he said softly.

โ€œNo!โ€ She jerked against him then, but he easily pushed her back.

โ€œI better never fucking see you near the Suit again.โ€ His voice was low and dangerous.

Yet somehow, she slipped through his grip like water, and was inside the Suit before he could stop her. For a split second he considered yanking her back out, but her eyes and expression no longer matched the woman he had spent weeks watching. The look she gave him triggered his battle instincts, and he reflexively drew back, narrowly avoiding being caught by the Suit doors as they closed. His heart stopped as he realized what had happened, then he shouted,

โ€œThe Suitโ€™s been hijacked!โ€

Hartmann drew his sidearm, knowing full well how futile it would be if the cleaning lady decided to blow him to smithereens. He very carefully backed down the ramp for the Suit, then moved to stand with the other soldiers who gathered with their guns held ready. Captain Lambert appeared at his side and growled, โ€œWhat the fuck is going on?โ€

โ€œI was messing with the cleaning lady, sir,โ€ Hartmann replied slowly. โ€œShe jumped inside, sir.โ€

โ€œThe fucking cleaning lady?โ€ Captain Lambert was surprised. โ€œI want her file! The rest of you, keep ready but donโ€™t move.โ€

โ€œSir, thereโ€™s something wrong with that bitch,โ€ Hartmann muttered, narrowing his eyes at the Suit. So far it had remained motionless, and it was impossible to tell what was happening inside.

โ€œShut up,โ€ Lambert snapped, then snatched the manila folder that had been brought to him. He skimmed over it, slapped it against Hartmann for him to take, then moved forward as he cussed, โ€œWeโ€™re in for a fucking shit storm over this.โ€ He boldly climbed the ramp and pounded on the Suit as he shouted, โ€œCarol Smith! Get out here this instant!โ€

Hartmann watched in disbelief as the doors opened and the cleaning lady practically spilled out onto Lambertโ€™s chest. She was dazed and unsteady as the captain helped her down, as if she had been drugged. Lambertโ€™s eyes met the master sergeantโ€™s, and he said gruffly, โ€œYou. Come.โ€

He took them to a small meeting room with a table and chairs, and ensured that Carol was seated before stepping back and folding his arms. Hartmann remained standing.

โ€œYou wanna tell me what the hell happened?โ€ Lambert demanded.

Hartmann shrugged. โ€œAlready did, sir.โ€

Lambert rubbed the bridge of his nose. โ€œCarol, whatโ€™s your side of the story?โ€

Hartmann expected her to let loose and demonize him in every possible way, but instead she echoed his shrug and murmured, โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€

โ€œHow could you not know?โ€ Lambert couldnโ€™t keep himself from raising his voice.

โ€œSomething came over me, I think.โ€ Carol nervously began to pick at her fingernails.

Frustrated, Lambert slammed his hand down on the table, causing her to flinch. โ€œI selected you for this job based on your psych eval, and in all this time there hasnโ€™t been a single incident. You expect me to believe that โ€˜something came overโ€™ you?โ€

โ€œI was โ€ฆ overwhelmed.โ€ She squirmed and stared down at her hands as she bit her bottom lip. โ€œThe master sergeant told me to quit my job.โ€

โ€œSo you decided to get yourself fired instead?โ€ Lambert scowled as he looked over at Hartmann. โ€œLook, I know that MSG Hartmann was probably being an unreasonable prick towards you, so you need to focus on protecting yourself, not him. Got that?โ€

โ€œI honestly donโ€™t know how I ended up in the Suit.โ€ Carolโ€™s mouth twisted downwards and her chin quivered. โ€œI was really scared that heโ€™d find a way to force me out of my job, and I love cleaning the Suit.โ€ For a moment she choked on her words, and Lambertโ€™s expression softened. โ€œI donโ€™t know what happened,โ€ she finished weakly.

โ€œIโ€™ll see what I can do,โ€ Lambert murmured, putting a reassuring hand on her arm. โ€œI have to file a report on the incident, and someone is going to take the blame. That was a breach in security, and itโ€™s not going to blow over on its own.โ€

Hartmann looked between Carol and Lambert with his eyes narrowed, mulling over the possibility that the captain was attracted to the cleaning lady. It was no secret that Lambert had suffered a nasty divorce several years back, and as far as anyone knew it had completely destroyed his interest in anything outside of work. It occurred to Hartmann that his hadnโ€™t been the only gaze focused on her as she cleaned.

Out of curiosity, he opened the personnel file he still carried. Carol had a long history of showing up on time and following all the rules; she was described with words like, โ€˜respectful,โ€™ and, โ€˜content,โ€™ all of which boiled down to a polite way of saying that she was easily controlled and had no big dreams in life. Hartmann looked back up at her, noting the way she hunched over and kept her elbows close, and he thought that she likely considered any clothing brighter than beige to be too flashy. Carol was someone who had perfected invisibility, so why had the captain noticed her as well?

โ€œI didnโ€™t mean to cause any trouble, sir.โ€ Her voice was growing smaller.

Lambert sighed. โ€œIโ€™m going to recommend that your clearance be revoked, and that youโ€™re reassigned. Wait here while I bring in your supervisor.โ€ He then turned to Hartmann. โ€œYour ass, on the other hand, is entirely at my mercy.โ€

โ€œGo ahead and satisfy yourself, sir. I like it rough.โ€ Hartmann smirked at the way Lambertโ€™s eyes flashed angrily, then nodded at Carol as he tossed her file down onto the table. She was too shocked and pale to do anything other than stare.

โ€œMove it, soldier!โ€ Lambert barked, and pushed him out the door. โ€œConsider yourself reprimanded for disrespecting your commanding officer.โ€ He continued to shove Hartmann down the hallway. โ€œNow, I want a detailed report on everything that happened, then you are to go home and await further orders. Do you understand?โ€

โ€œYes, sir.โ€ Hartmann wasnโ€™t thrilled at the idea of being removed from the Base, but the fact that Carol had jumped into the Suit on her own, combined with his status as the best pilot, made him expect that he wasnโ€™t going to get more than a slap on the wrist for harassment in the end. The best part was, Carol was never going to be allowed anywhere near the Suit again. It was a small price to pay for the victory.

Lambert spoke into his radio, then informed Hartmann that someone would escort him off Base as soon as they were done, and a few minutes later they were in another small room. Hartmann wrote a glib statement, then signed his name with an exaggerated scrawl. Lambertโ€™s radio crackled, and he stepped outside to answer it. Hartmann set his pen down then followed, but discovered that Lambert was already jogging down the hallway. He raised an eyebrow, but an MP approached him, and he knew that he wasnโ€™t going to be privy to whatever had lit a fire under the captainโ€™s butt.

He was going home to enjoy a little R&R before returning to duty.

poetry

The Ballad of the Sludge Slayer

In the kitchen once calm, but now full of dread,
The sink stood still, the water dead.
No swirl, no gurgle, just murky despair–
A clog had settled deep down there.

Boiling water surged with might,
Baking soda fizzed in a noble fight.
The plunger danced, the bubbles rose,
But still the foul drain dared oppose.

With rubber gloves and battle cry,
Our hero braved the pipe’s dark eye.
Unscrewed the trap with fearless hands,
And found… it clean–yet still it stands!

Then came the tool, long coiled and mean,
The mighty snake–a plumbing queen.
It dove into the depths with grit,
And struck the sludge where it did sit!

Twist and turn, slurp, a thunk–
The serpent pulled back slime and gunk.
The drain gave way, the water flew–
A flood of triumph breaking through!

So raise a pouch of Capri Sun high,
And toast beneath the clean-piped sky.
For legends aren’t just born–they’re made,
Where clogs once lurked and courage stayed.


I unclogged a stubborn blockage in the kitchen sink, while consulting ChatGPT about how to go about it. Then, because I was feeling pretty proud of the achievement afterwards, I asked ChatGPT to write a poem for me about our venture.

About Me

The Importance of Self-Expression in Writing

I went and gussied up some of the old posts I made about my writing process that I’m still proud of.

It wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing to do, but those AI features made it much easier, and even gave me a chuckle with some of the quirky generated images. Will it matter at all? Heck if I know. I barely know what SEO even is, and I’m not all that convinced that it will do anything to boost my blog stats. But, at the very least, it makes me feel like a more attentive blogger,

And attentive bloggers blog more often. So there.

I want to write about myself more, and think about myself more. I feel like I’ve spent years listening to someone go on and on about himself, and every time I said anything like, “I have a dream too!” I was instantly shut down. “Whoa there. Getting full of yourself, aren’t you?”

But it isn’t egotistical to have dreams about where I want my life to go. Maybe I won’t end up in a big house on the bench of the mountain, but I can still watch the sunset glint off those enormous windows as I drive by and wonder what it would be like to live there. It’s not wrong to feel inspired to pursue success for myself.

It’s not wrong to believe that I have skills and talents. It’s not wrong to think about how I can use those skills and talents to make my way in the world. The Universe didn’t designate me to sit in the dark as a permanent audience member — I have a passion for writing that I want to share with the world, and I genuinely believe that I can offer something that others would enjoy.

And it’s not wrong for me to exist as a real person writing about my real experiences. “Dear diary, today I went with the kids to the park. The breeze was cold but the sun was hot, and the public restrooms are finally open for the season.” My thoughts and perceptions are valid, and I want the freedom to express them without wondering who might disagree with them.

I still have my own opinions and philosophies about writing, and I still want to write about them. Maybe soon enough, I’ll be able to take those old posts and rewrite them — expound on them — and compile something that could even be published as a “how to” type book. ~Writing With Autumn Rain~ Forward by ChatGPT

And maybe I’ll finally figure out why SEO matters.

About Me

Overcoming Writing Insecurities: My Journey

I find it encouraging that my fiction writing is still performing the best in my blog statistics.

I’ve been working on overcoming the memory of that smug voice telling me that my writing ideas were cliched and immature. Despite that proclamation, I continued writing my ideas. Alice and the Warden? Me. The Scion Suit? My interpretation of a writing prompt. The Black Magus? Yup, that was me. I enjoyed writing my ideas immensely, and others have enjoyed reading them as well, so it doesn’t matter if they were “cliched” or “immature” — it isn’t about being the best of the best, it’s about personal satisfaction and having fun.

It wasn’t really my ideas that were the problem. Rather, it was the seed planted in my brain that made me feel like I had to seek a stamp of approval before I could write them. That deep insecurity and fear I always felt when I started a story that hadn’t been given the “green light” by someone else.

Yet that person who had propped himself up as the Gatekeeper of Quality left.

It might be difficult to understand if you haven’t been through this, but when someone deliberately inflicts an emotional wound so that they can provide the “cure,” that wound is still there after they leave. Real healing takes time and is very difficult, especially when you feel the withdrawal from the false cures they fed you. It hurts severely to acknowledge that they weren’t trying to help you improve, but instead deliberately keeping you dependent.

Despite knowing better on a cognitive level, it’s been terrifying to write without that stamp of approval.

I’ve switched back to writing with a pen in a notebook, but unfortunately my handwriting muscles aren’t what they used to be (I blame the years spent typing). It reminds me of being a teenager, secretly filling page after page with my characters in novels that will never see the light of day, though now my end goal is to publish. I haven’t given up on my dream of being a professional author; it’s always there in my mind through every moment of every day.

All I need to do is write without holding anything back.

youtube

Five words that every writer should avoid using (funny)

Literally – Literally everyone says it

Actually – It’s been copyrighted by the online debate crowd

Just – Just don’t

Very – It’s very very bad.

Milquetoast – It’s spelled weird.

And that’s it! Now you are ready to make your dreams come true and live your best life. Wishing you all a good writing journey!

youtube

The Scion Suit Part One – Audio edition!

I needs to learn teh elocution. LOL

Books

Cover Design for Alice and the Warden by Autumn Rain

Alice had lost her sense of self. She had fallen in with a stereotypical bad boy named Damon, and as the mistakes heaped higher the more trapped she felt in the rebellious life she led. However, when Damon pushed circumstances to their breaking point, and Alice fell into legal troubles that there was no escape from. A chance encounter with the local Warden began a process of self-discovery for Alice, as she she asked herself the question, “What does it mean to have dignity?”

Available only on Amazon.


Base image created with Stable Diffusion, and everything else added in Canva.