Stories, The Scion Suit

Lartmann and Hambert Are Dead

A/N: …I wanted a break from serious writing...

……


Hartmann paced around the empty room, occasionally flipping a coin and studying it, before continuing on his circuit. Lambert, on the other hand, sat still in the middle of the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

โ€œDo you โ€ฆโ€ he began, then hesitated.

โ€œGet sick of all these tails?โ€ Hartmann suggested. โ€œCan’t say I do.โ€

Lambert gave him a flat look. โ€œI thought you were getting heads.โ€

โ€œNot from you,โ€ Hartmann muttered in reply.

โ€œWhat I meant to say was that it seems like we’re stuck in a featureless void.โ€

โ€œLooks more like a room to me.โ€

โ€œDo you see any doors or windows?โ€

โ€œNo. But there are distinct planes and vertices.โ€

Lambert rolled his eyes. โ€œAlright then, a featureless cube.โ€

โ€œClearly, the answer is that when we were told we were going to be integrated into a biomechanical alien species, we were lied to. Either this room is some sort of alien prison, or we’re dead,โ€ Hartmann replied.

โ€œYes. That makes sense,โ€ Lambert mused. โ€œBut why do you have that coin?โ€

โ€œIt was in my pocket.โ€

โ€œAnd why does it only ever come up heads?โ€

โ€œAlien space magic. Why else?โ€ Hartmann answered.

โ€œDo you ever think that you and I are ultimately interchangeable?โ€

โ€œWe’re the variables. You represent the noble side of humanity, while I’m the cavalier aspect. Lawful good versus chaotic neutral.โ€

โ€œWhatever.โ€

โ€œYou wanted to talk about it,โ€ Hartmann muttered.

โ€œSometimes we might as well be the same person,โ€ Hambert said darkly.

โ€œThere could be some truth to that,โ€ Lartmann replied. โ€œOur identities are already intermixing.

โ€œI liked who I was,โ€ Harbert said sulkily.

โ€œHow do you think I feel? You are a comparatively boring person,โ€ Lamtmann pouted.

โ€œDamn alien technology,โ€ Hartert grumbled.

โ€œTell me about it,โ€ Lambmann agreed.

โ€œFading โ€ฆโ€ Hartmet gasped.

โ€œNo โ€ฆโ€ Lambeann sobbed.

And together, they merged into Lartbertmann โ€“ half man, half another man.

~Fin

About Me

Nextdoor

My husband signed me up for “Nextdoor,” which is basically Facebook, only everyone posting lives in the area. He was all, “It’s a good idea to know what’s going on around here,” then promptly put in my e-mail address. -_-;;

It’s mostly people telling other people how they should be living their lives, with some lost pets and classifieds thrown in.

I have a pretty strong perverse streak, so when someone posted, “Grasshoppers travel from yard to yard, so if you have them you better treat them,” it filled me with a strong, overwhelming desire to cultivate ours. Feed them. Baby them. Make sure they grow up big, strong, and plentiful.

Then unleash them on the neighborhood.

My own personal plague of locusts.

Because nobody tells me what to do.

Muse

Sunset

Photos don’t really do the real world any justice.

Then again, I am something of an advocate for experiencing life firsthand.

About Me

Exercise

I had to scrap my plans to write in the morning, and start exercising instead. Frankly, it’s a lot easier to take the kids out on a long walk than it is to do aerobics in the living room — go figure — so I need to get out early enough to “beat the heat.”

Aaaand I’m not remotely an early riser. LAWL.

The good news is that our local swimming pool has finally reopened, and water is great for circulatory problems. I’ll definitely be adding that to the routine.

I *know* that my health suffers when I become inactive, so I’m kicking myself over this.

Anyway

I like to get the stroller loaded up with drinking water and outdoor toys, then walk a mile to the park with the children. There are usually a few other kids on the playground, as well as a tennis group on the courts, so it feels community-like without having to do anything other than smile.

I’ve noticed a brand new trend this year:

People aren’t using their phones anymore.

At all.

I guess they have gotten sick of it.

A random photo of some dead ants that I accidentally killed with ant poison, then felt guilty about.
About Me

Dub Tee Eff

I opened up my laptop, saw that image, and thought, “WTF am I up to?”

Actually, it’s just my amazing ability to hit pause at awkward moments.

About Me

The Predicament – A Short Story

This got out of its cage, and stubbornly refused to leave my shoulder.

While this chased me around, begging me to let it play with the colorful flying thing.