Tag: grasshoppers

My husband signed me up for “Nextdoor,” which is basically Facebook, only everyone posting lives in the area. He was all, “It’s a good idea to know what’s going on around here,” then promptly put in my e-mail address. -_-;;

It’s mostly people telling other people how they should be living their lives, with some lost pets and classifieds thrown in.

I have a pretty strong perverse streak, so when someone posted, “Grasshoppers travel from yard to yard, so if you have them you better treat them,” it filled me with a strong, overwhelming desire to cultivate ours. Feed them. Baby them. Make sure they grow up big, strong, and plentiful.

Then unleash them on the neighborhood.

My own personal plague of locusts.

Because nobody tells me what to do.