Category: About Me

About Me

Role Playing

Autumn

Role playing was the worst thing that I ever did to my writing.

I know how it is to be an introverted fantasy geek, stumbling my way onto forums and finding, much to my delight, that people liked my characters — characters that felt more like me than the real life me, who was too shy to talk much. I’ve loved and lost some actual, real-people friends on those boards, too. I’ve been there. I get it.

And it wreaked absolute havoc on my ability to write.

Role playing is very different from writing a novel. For example, a novel happens entirely in your own head, and even if you chat about it with others in between writing sessions, every single last word is typed by your own hands. There aren’t any surprises. No quick thinking. You can go on and on for pages and pages, god-moding like there’s no tomorrow, and no one will ever complain or defriend you. It’s just you and your OCs.

Role playing, on the other hand, happens one paragraph at a time. Write a paragraph, wait, read what happens next, then respond with another paragraph. Rinse and repeat. Over and over. For hours.

The underlying structure is completely different, but it has an enormous influence on writing style. It kills the flow, and paragraphs become like islands that respond to each other, rather than build upon each other. You can always spot someone who’s heavy into the RP — it shows.

I didn’t dream about being a role playing geek when I was 12. I wanted to be an author. I wanted to write books, not paragraphs. And one day, it hit me really hard that my writing had gone down the toilet. Too many paragraphs responding to paragraphs, and not enough storytelling. I was devastated to realize that my writing had been better at 14 than it was it was at 18.

Goodbye, my fellow fantasy geeks. It was fun.

It took me years to purge it out of my system, to lock the correct mindset back into place. As much fun as it was, I will probably never return to role playing.

Not to mention, I’m, like, in my 30s and married with kids now. It would be a little weird.

About Me

Sleepy

Autumn

WordPress is congratulating me on my blogging streak.

Truth is, I haven’t been sleeping well, and when I’m tired I talk to myself more.

Instead of doing anything useful, I’m just chattering away in my head about nothing in particular, because I can’t think clearly.

Anyway, I did pointless a doodle about my next novel.

So WordPress can love my blogging streak even more.

About Me

Living

Autumn

In high school I used to fantasize that I’d get Discovered. Everyone would be blown away by the enormity of my talent at such a tender age, and I would be heralded as a teenage prodigy as millions rushed to buy my books. I’d be set for life by the time I graduated.

I wanted it so badly, I wondered how I would ever survive without it.

Obviously, and thankfully, that didn’t happen.

I don’t know if there’s some sort of spiritual plan for everyone, guided by God, the Universe, or anything in particular, but I now know that my talent would have been wasted if I had achieved fame at such a young age. Oh sure, practice and maturity would have improved a few things here and there, but the ideas I played with would have, without a doubt, stagnated.

You just can’t replace the importance of experience.

And if I had been set for life right out of the gate, I wouldn’t have experienced what it means to be alive. My writing wouldn’t have gained any true depth. I would have become trapped rewriting the same fluff over and over with a different title every time. And that would have been that.

Instead I was forced to live outside of my comfortable worlds of fiction. I’ve learned that sometimes the best way to improve talent is not by reading or writing, but by living.

About Me

Secretly

Autumn

Secretly

I want to explode on the scene.

Blow everyone away with the enormity of my talent.

Declare to the world, “I was born to do this!”

But I’m shy, doubtful, and insecure.

Something like that, happening to someone like me?

Probably not.

But I like to fantasize.

About Me

Terror as an author

Autumn

I’ll be honest, as a writer, letting someone read my stories is embarrassing.

Asking someone to pay to read them is mortifying.

I can understand why publishing houses became a thing. Hello, I wrote a book. I am now too embarrassed and mortified to distribute it. Ha ha ha.

Seriously, I don’t want to let people know what sort of things go on in my head. That’s why I’m quiet and shy. Just move along; you don’t know me.

But don’t really. I actually do want people to read my books. I’m just scared. What if people don’t like me? What if people do like me? I’m not sure how I’d handle either.

That’s why I’m a writer, I suppose. Fictional worlds are easier to navigate.

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About Me

Stargirl

Autumn

In real life, I’m a 30-something stay-at-home mom with small children. I always laugh whenever the neighbors call me a hippie, because I’ve been to Earth Haven and I can’t say that I had an ounce in common with anyone there, but that’s the identity I’ve been given: the neighborhood hippie. I guess that the fact that I’ve been to a place called Earth Haven puts me closer to hippy-ism than anyone else around here.

While I get along great with the ex-bikers, sometimes I wish that I had a friend who was another 30-something mom with small children. There are a few of them around here too, but they are, you know, normal.

Sometimes I think that I ought to try being normal too, so they’ll like me and talk to me.

But that would mean leggings, memberships, and shoes.

You haven’t truly lived until you’ve stepped on a dead mouse barefoot. Now that’s a sensation that doesn’t wash away.

And I really like my bright yellow gaucho pants.

Stargirl was required reading in middle school. We all scoffed at it, dismissing it as another one of those human interest novels that our teachers always seemed to think would ease the trials of being a teenager. But now I think back on it and remind myself, being normal doesn’t make you happy. Stargirl tried it, and she was miserable. So there you have it, I had to grow up before I appreciated the message.

Gaucho pants and bare feet forever, even if that leaves me with only ex-bikers and fictional characters to chat with.

The sequel, Love, Stargirl came out after I graduated, so on a lark I decided to read it now as an adult. When the book mentioned someone giving out donuts to trick-or-treaters, it hit me why we didn’t like the original as teens, and it had nothing to do with individualism or peer-pressure: the author just didn’t know crap about Millennials. The Stargirl books are every bit as much of deluded fantasies as the tripe I write, minus the gratuitous Mary Sue-ing.

Because what’s the point in fantasizing if you don’t go all out?

Also, apparently peer-pressure fiction is a recognized genre. I feel bad for teens.

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About Me

Kindle

Autumn

I vaguely mentioned that I had a baby several months ago, which is the reason why I went from posting new chapters every week to sporadic and infrequent updates. During that time period, here’s what I’ve learned:

It’s easier for me to write a manuscript than it is to upkeep a posting schedule.

Even when everything is already finished and all I have to do is copy and paste once a week, for whatever reason I just can’t stick with it. My brain doesn’t want to brain that way.

On the other hand, my binder stuffed full of lined paper and colorful pens is always within arm’s reach. Ten minutes here, an hour there, sometimes a sentence, other times a few pages, and the next thing I know I’ve gotten a novel written.

After some very serious thought, I’ve decided that I will relocate myself over to Kindle. Publish the whole thing in one go and be over and done with it. Better than being sporadic and inconsistent, wondering when I’ll inevitably flake out.

I will post a few more chapters of Light Eternal here, then leave you on a cliff hanger.

About Me

Halloween

Autumn

Back in the day, when everyone else was calling Christmas their favorite holiday, I would boldly declare “Halloween!” as mine. Needless to say, I didn’t fit in.

It’s my tradition to make costumes every year, and October is usually spent sewing while glitter gets everywhere. I spend the entire day of Halloween celebrating with activities for the kids, and on the big night we go trick-or-treating and carve pumpkins.

I have a reputation amongst the neighbors for taking Halloween very seriously. But what can I say? Darkness is part of who I am. That’s why I like horror movies.

So,

Happy Halloween!

About Me

Brain

Autumn

I had fully intended to be back to blogging by now.

But this summer turned out to be a nasty one and my brain melted. Gone.

I haven’t been sewing, or playing Animal Crossing, and I lost my streak on duolingo.

Naturally, I haven’t been able to think about writing or editing either.

On the bright side, I’ve been cooking with enthusiasm and learning how to make new things, like chicken paprikash with spaetzle. And we’ve made our own jam. Life has never tasted so good.

I just can’t seem to put words together.

Hopefully, as the weather continues to cool down, I’ll be able to think once again.

About Me

Popularity?

Autumn

My six-year-old loves DanTDM, and after the birth of baby #4 I’ve been keeping the older three pacified with hours and hours of his videos while I’ve been postpartum. It dawned on me that he’s popular. Mind you, I knew that when we first found his channel over a year ago, but now he’s, like, popular.

I’ve started wondering what it would be like to have that many fans.

Of course, the thought of going on tours and talking to lots of strangers is a very off-putting idea for me. Invisible introvert here. That’s why I write. NTY for that one.

But what if someone drew fan art of my characters? What if someone read every novel I ever write? What if someone related to my story?

Just one person who isn’t somehow personally connected to me enjoying one of my novels would be really cool.