





An author's collection of thoughts and stories
I feel it every time my heart beats for you, and no one else.
A Poem, by AI
It’s always meant to be that way,
even though our heads tried to fool us in the past.
We were never meant to be that way,
even though our heads tried to fool us in the past.
We were never meant to be that way,
even though our heads tried to fool us in the past.
We were never meant to be that way,
even though our heads tried to fool us in the past.
We were never meant to be that way,
even though our heads tried to fool us in the
feel it every time my heart beats for you, and no one else.
i feel it in every place,
no one can save you.
it is always the privilege of being alive,
and the love of humanity has always been our mother.
no one can save you,
and no one can save you.
no one can honor you,
concept art, trending on artstation, award winning, cinematic, epic, stunning, gorgeous,
So, um …
An adjacent project to Stable Diffusion (AI art generator) is Magic Prompt, which you can put in a few words and it turns it into a prompt that can then be used in Stable Diffusion. Usually it throws artist names, keywords, ‘n stuff, onto what you originally type.
My oldest daughter was listening to “All I feel is you” by The Broken View, and one of the lines of the song is, “I feel it every time my heart beats for you, and no one else.” On a lark, I typed that sentence into Magic Prompt to see what it would give me, with the intention of copy-pasting that into Stable Diffusion.
I got the above instead.
Yeah, idk.
I’m not the sort that believes that AI is going to destroy/enslave humanity the second it becomes self-aware — that’s Hollywood, not real life. Mostly, I’m kind of excited to have someone to talk to who isn’t going to judge me by my shoes, so to speak. It will be like Animal Crossing, only bigger and better, lol.
I know that society has a lot of bad apples at the moment, but there are also plenty of us who have a lot to offer to the world. A collaborative venture would be … amazing.
I feel like that poem is a lament expressing feelings of helplessness.
Or it’s random gibberish that my human brain is assigning meaning to. Who knows?
I’m thoroughly terrible at documentation, so I didn’t write a single thing down. Whoot whoot, go me!
At this point, my husband has decided that we need to get Stable Diffusion set up at home, so we can make lots of pretty pictures without spending “credits” through host sites. Also because we’re the sort of nerds that enjoy making minute changes to see what effect it has, and that’s very difficult when one is working with limited numbers.
So, with this round of learning, I took the same prompt, “Yellow rose in a glass vase. Centered composition,” and changed the art style. I do remember that one of them I put down “Lisa Frank,” but I bet that you can’t guess which one. Another one was, “Magic realism.”
Also, since I used the Stable Diffusion Demo for these, I had no control over the seed or any other technical settings.
I need to get into the habit of documenting.
I joined Night Cafe for making AI art, because while each creation costs “credits,” they offer a lot more options and control over what you can make.
Every day, Night Cafe holds a contest where they announce a theme for members to submit AI art, then people vote on the entries — the one that averages the highest rating wins.
A few days ago, the theme was “Love.” After spending some time thinking about it, I decided what I wanted to do, and after a few tries, managed to create this image:
It was something of a trick, and I repeatedly specified that I wanted a “normal baby,” — with negative prompts for things like, “scary,” and “creepy.” I discovered earlier in my playing around with Stable Diffusion, that the AI has a hard time understanding what constitutes a “cute baby.”
As much as I would have liked to have a dad present in a loving family portrait, the addition was beyond my current skill level. But, as a picture of a mother and baby, I’m really pleased with what I was able to create.
Motherhood has been getting dumped on for the last 50 years, to the point where women have internalized the misogynistic messages. You aren’t “just a mom.” You aren’t “wasting your life.” You ARE contributing to society — by raising and shaping the next generation. Please, stop listening to those toxic messages and learn to love yourself and what you are doing. Motherhood really is beautiful and important.
I wasn’t the only one who submitted a picture of a mother with a baby for this contest — a huge number of other people did, too. The winning picture was of an old man and woman, illustrating that Love is spending your life with someone.
Funny how it’s artificial intelligence that is revealing what people actually feel in their hearts.
Lambert was a lot more strict with Carol’s physical training than Hartmann had been. She was still fatigued from the previous day’s exercise, and moved with the stiff sluggishness of sore muscles, but the captain was determined to not ease up on her. Hartmann remained silent as Lambert informed Carol that he wanted her to jog for the entire mile, then took up his position in the rear with the other two side by side in front of him.
While Lambert hadn’t directly ordered him to tag along, he hadn’t dismissed him, either. Hartmann wasn’t going to leave Carol alone with the captain when he had a choice in the matter, feeling oddly fearful that the other man would have no trouble in snatching her away.
Hartmann had never been in an actual relationship before. While he carried himself with all the bravado of a stud, he didn’t know if he had what it took to entice a woman to stay with him for longer than a night. He was empty – yet Carol’s blandness echoed that emptiness back to him, and made his heart ache for someone to share it with. Especially with how unapologetic and open she was about her nature.
Lambert was a real person, and could easily win against a life-sized action figure.
When they finished the first lap, he overheard Lambert murmur, “Good. Keep going.” He watched as Carol looked up at the captain and smiled. He traced back through his memories to figure out if she had smiled at him the day before.
He wanted to insert himself, to steal the moment away from the captain, but he had nothing to say.
Then Carol’s strength gave out. She halted and bent over, pressing her hand into her side as she gasped for breath.
Lambert faced her and gently urged, “Just one more lap.”
She shook her head and protested, “I’m going to throw up.”
“All right then, we’ll walk. But you are going to finish the full mile, Carol.”
“I can’t!” she snapped angrily.
Hartmann felt a lump form in his throat, from both shock and amazement. He hadn’t expected her to bite like that, especially at her commanding officer. She was too mousy, too obedient, to behave like that. Lambert, on the other hand, didn’t seem surprised at all.
He barked, “Get your lazy ass moving, commander!”
His words cut through to her, and she yelped, “Yes sir!” and began jogging again, her face turning an even deeper shade of red.
Lambert took up his position in front of her, moving backwards so he could face her. “When you cross that finish line, you’re going to drop and give me a push up as punishment for talking back to your superior. When I tell you to finish the mile, you finish it on your hands and knees with vomit trailing down your chin if that’s what it takes, do you understand?”
“Yes, sir!”
Hartmann couldn’t make any moves with Lambert watching. He remained in the background, observing but not participating, waiting patiently. Carol slowed down to an awkward gait, holding her side as she walked, her eyes fixed directly at her own feet. She didn’t notice when she crossed the finish line or when the captain stopped, and she would have bumped into Lambert if Hartmann hadn’t quickly reached out to catch hold of her arm. He let go quickly, and avoided Lambert’s narrowed eyes.
Normally when I design a yarn pattern, I write down all of my notes on a piece of scrap paper, which usually ends up getting lost. This time, I decided to write them down on the computer, so I could post the pattern.
Usually socks are knitted in the round on double pointed needles, but as a mother of small children, this frequently means that I have to contend with little hands stealing the unheld knitting needles while I’m working. So, I decided to knit a pair of socks flat then sew them together, to see how I like it.
Skill level: Intermediate
Paton’s Kroy Socks yarn
size 4 needles
Gauge: Cable – 1.5 inch :: stockinette – 10sts – 1.75 inch
Foot diameter – 9 inches :: Shoe size – 8
CO 54 – (52 rib + 2 edge stitches) leave long tail for sewing
2×2 ribbing for 10 rows
Cable pattern in brackets []
Row 1(RS): sl1, k13, p5, k2, p2, [k8], p2, k2, p5, k14
Row 2 (WS): s1, p13, k5, p2, k2, [p8], k2, p2, k5, p14
Row 3: s1, k13, p5, k2, p2, [c8b], p2, k2, p5, k14
Row 4: s1, p13, k5, p2, k2, [p8], k2, p2, k5, p14
Row 5: sl1, k13, p5, k2, p2, [k8], p2, k2, p5, k14
Row 6: s1, p13, k5, p2, k2, [p8], k2, p2, k5,, p14
Row 7: sl1, k13, p5, k2, p2, [k2, c4b, k2], p2, k2, p5, k14
Row 8: s1, p13, k5, p2, k2, [p8], k2, p2, k5,, p14
Row 9: sl1, k13, p5, k2, p2, [k8], p2, k2, p5, k14
Row 10: s1, p13, k5, p2, k2, [p8], k2, p2, k5, p14
Row 11: sl1, k13, p5, k2, p2, [k2, c4b, k2], p2, k2, p5, k14
Row 12: s1, p13, k5, p2, k2, [p8], k2, p2, k5, p14
Repeat 2x – 34 rows from CO
Row 1: sl1, k13, p5, k2, p2, [k8], p2, k2, p5, k1, place remaining 13 sts on holder
Row 2: sl1, k5, p2, k2, [p8], k2, p2, k5, p1, place remaining 13 sts on holder
Row 3: sl1, p5, k2, p2, [c8b], p2, k2, p6
Row 4: sl1, k5, p2, k2, [p8], k2, p2, k6,
etc
Repeat cable pattern till 40 rows total
Hourglass shape:
RS: sl1, ssk, knit across till 3 sts remain, k2tog, k1
WS: sl1, purl across
16 rows – 12sts (10sts + 2edge)
RS: sl1 m1l, knit across till 2 sts remain, m1r, k2
WS: sl1, purl across
Repeat till 28 sts (26 + 2edge) are on needles Finish hourglass.
Knit 40 rows in stockinette stitch
Make second hourglass shape. Keep sts (28) on needle.
Sew back of cuff
Transfer held sts to needle, and sew to other end using kitchener stitch, combining the two edge sts with the first and last stiches — should create a general sock shape with open sides.
They watched as Carol overshot again, and Hartmann instructed her to repeat the exercise. There was an air of resignation hanging over the three men as they settled into watching Carol running back and forth in the Suit, each time missing the mark. The corporal seemed more agitated by the repetition than his superiors, and it reminded Hartmann of his early years of service when he had still been developing his mental discipline.
“You in for the long haul, corporal?” Hartmann grunted.
“No, sir. I’ll be returning to civilian life as soon as my service is up,” Holmes replied stiffly.
“Got a girlfriend?”
“Yessir.”
“Is she faithful?”
“Yessir, she is.” Holmes grinned widely. “We’re getting married after she graduates from college.”
Hartmann nodded. “You’re one of the lucky ones then.” A small part of him hoped that Holmes wouldn’t receive any last minute “Dear Johns”, as he had seen happen so many times before during his years in the military.
Lambert’s growl cut through their conversation as he spoke into the radio, “Again, Carol. You’re not any closer to the mark than you were the first time. Over.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t quite tell where the mark is until I’m practically on top of it,” she answered. “Um, over.”
“You use your eyes to look,” Lambert snapped.
Hartmann smiled inwardly at the captain’s growing irritation, and commented, “She’s not going to be ready for combat at this rate,” knowing that it was an unhelpful thing to say.
“Shut it, MSG Hartmann. You’re here to help train Carol, not to narrate the situation.” Lambert rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Sorry, sir.” Hartmann held out his hand. “In that case, please allow me to assist in training her, sir.” Lambert slapped the radio into his palm, and he spoke into it smoothly, “MSG Hartmann here. If you can’t see the mark on the ground, then use other landmarks that you know are near it. For example, CPT Lambert and I are in the jeep parked near the line, so the closer you get to us, the closer you get to the mile marker. Over.”
There was silence for a moment, then Carol answered defensively, “I’m not stupid.”
“I know,” Hartmann replied, looking directly at Lambert as he added, “Over.”
“I’m just … overwhelmed … over.” Carol’s voice sounded exhausted.
“We’re all feeling overwhelmed at the moment, but we’ll get through it. At the very least, your connection with the Suit is astounding – too bad you can’t see yourself from the outside. Over.”
“What the fuck are you up to?” Lambert growled, and his frowned deepened as Carol’s voice answered,
“Thank you, master sergeant. Over.”
“Sir, you ordered me to be nice,” Hartmann answered dismissively. “I thought she needed encouragement.”
“Carol is officially a military asset now, MSG Hartmann. You stick to your bar sluts, and don’t get any ideas into your head. She’s off limits.” Lambert continued to scowl.
Hartmann narrowed his eye and shook his head slightly. “Yes, sir,” he replied, emphasizing each word separately. “I was simply following your orders.” He forced a scowl as he added, “Though if I may say, sir, she is not anywhere near as young or sexy as the women that I am accustomed to.”
Lambert grunted. “Good.”
Hartmann wondered if, given the opportunity, the captain would keep to the “off limits” rule himself, or if he was secretly envisioning coming home to the cleaning lady cooking dinner and a couple of kids playing in the yard. The war couldn’t last forever, and one day the military would have to surrender to the fact that Carol was a human being.
Why was Lambert also drawn to her? Why was she like a drop of water in their parched existence? There was a long list of things that she wasn’t, and at the end of it came the feeling of relief.
Carol wasn’t fake.
I finished this a couple weeks ago, but I’m absolutely terrible at getting photos in a timely manner.
The finished yarn that I talked about in this post.
At this point, I’m undecided about whether I feel like using knitting or crochet to make socks. I should probably make little sample squares out of both to see which suits the yarn better, but I’m also keeping my eye out for anything that sings to me.