About Me

Sanity

Writing keeps me sane.

My usual tradition is to read a book after finishing a first draft, before beginning on the second. This time, circumstances aren’t quite usual.

In one sense, I’m barely aware of the world. Truth is, ten years ago I saw too much, and turned my back on society in disgust. I don’t like being a negative person, but there’s really no other way for me to describe why I live like a hermit in the middle of suburbia. Heck, we even tried going off grid several years ago, but that proved to be too difficult with the resources we had.

And yet, there’s a great deal that even I can’t hide from. I feel it every time I see a face mask littering the sidewalk. I know it’s out there, lurking just outside our fence line.

It’s seemingly taken away my ability to focus on reading. I can do everything else, but whenever I sit down with a book, I can’t follow what’s happening on the pages or remember who’s who. I can only finish short novellas if I read them out loud to my children (We’re currently reading The Fairy Rebel). I end up doing some sort of fiddly craft with my hands instead.

I can’t follow my usual ritual this time around. When I don’t spend my evenings re-centering my balance and exploring my fictional world, the noise from the children during the day gets inside my head too much.

So it looks like I’ll be plowing through the second draft of Alice and the Warden without “cleansing my mental palate” first. I have to work with what I’ve got.

About Me

…

Sometimes I read a blog post.

I type a comment.

Then I think, “Wow. I am so triggered right now.”

So I delete the comment without posting and close the page.

No one will understand anyway.

Better to just write it into a story.

About Me

Discord Channel – By Autumn Rain

I’ve been talked into creating a Discord channel.

Invite

I haven’t the slightest clue who’d want to talk to me, but it exists. I’ll probably post pictures of my cats.

If you want, you can ask me to read the first chapter of your novel, or for insider gossip about my fictional characters, or tell me that I’m the best person to ever exist (lawl jk).

Of course, as an FYI, I only get around to conversing when I feel good and ready to, so don’t expect me to be constantly plugged in 24/7.

Also, I can’t figure anything out. I am not super internet-literate.

About Me

Deep Fried

I burnt out on movies, so I switched over to watching Youtube whenever I needed to mindlessly veg for a bit.

So, the other day I was watching a food channel, and the person said something along the lines of, “Fried foods absorb oil, and that’s bad for you.”

Something inside of me snapped.

Like, “Fuck it. I’m buying a deep fryer.”

Gonna eat beignets for breakfast every single day.

Actually, I’m way too stingy to buy a deep fryer when I have a perfectly good pot and a stove, but the sentiment still stands. People have been frying foods in oil for literally ages, so I think it’s okay for me to eat something without you getting all up in my business. There’s too much of that going around.

Deal with it.

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com
About Me

Finished the first draft

I finished writing the first draft of Alice and the Warden.

I was sorely tempted to procrastinate with writing the last few chapters just to draw the process out longer, but I figured I shouldn’t slip into that trap. Besides, there’s still the second draft to do.

So

I’ve got 70 chapters total, and I most recently posted 52. Rather than make everyone plod along over the next 18 weeks to get to the end, I’ve decided to start posting 2 chapters a weeks.

Heck, I’m tempted to create a pdf of the entire novel for downloading, and I might do that as well. As I’ve said before, this is the first draft and hasn’t had any editing yet, so don’t expect to be blown away — it’s still very much a work in progress. It’s just that I’ve got a feeling. Probably nothing, but I’ve learned to always listen to my feelings.

I just don’t want anything to rob you of being able to read the ending after all of this time, and the world is very chaotic right now.

About Me

Kittens

We kinda didn’t get around to spaying our cat over the last few months.

But look

Babies!

24 hours old.

My life is proof that women CAN have it all; I am both a wife/mother, AND a crazy cat lady.

XD

#OMGtoomanycats

About Me

Just Randomness

The other day, my husband asked me, “What are you thinking about?”

I answered, “It would be fun to write a companion novella for Alice and the Warden, that’s collection of letters written by Damon while he’s in prison, to show how he evolves as a person before he finally meets his daughter when she’s all grown up.”

“This story has got you good,” my husband replied.


I think that I should devote more time to writing every day.

About Me

Knitting Patterns

My baby is teething. And I am so tired.

I’m one of those excessively creative sorts, and writing is just *one* of the things I do — since it’s my favorite, it’s the one I blog about. Ostensibly. Since I’m not particularly ‘plugged in,’ I usually work on some sort of yarn project when most others are on their phones. I know that this is an obsolete thing to say now, but once upon a time I used to be the only mom at the playground who wasn’t glued to a screen. You know, back when the world still existed.

Sometimes I think everything really did end back in 2012, and we just didn’t realize it at the time.

Don’t mind me … I’m not getting enough sleep.

So, one of my other dreams is to publish crochet and knitting patterns. I’ve already made a few of my own designs, too.

The problem comes with writing them down. Following a knitting pattern is one thing, but writing one is agonizingly boring. Then, of course, in order to make them more commercially friendly, you need to work out different sizes, as well as gauge. I’ve always found it much easier to simply hand the sweater/scarf/hat over to whichever child I made it for, for them to promptly lose in a giant mess of laundry, never to be seen again.

Then I tell myself that since I can’t take a picture anyway, there’s no point in writing down the pattern.

But I still think that I would like to come up with designs that are based on the stories I write. Like, “Alicia’s baby booties,” or “Gertie’s shawl.” It would be a fun way to share this magical world of mine outside of the stories.

So, I’ve decided that one of my 2021 goals is to design and publish at least one knitting pattern for Alice and the Warden.

Here’s hoping I actually make that happen?

I’m currently knitting socks for my 8-year-old.

About Me

Introversion

I’m very introverted, and sometimes the ability to socialize just isn’t there. Not only am I unable to think of anything to say, I don’t have the energy to listen/read what anyone else has to say either, and I don’t even want to deal with anyone online or through texts. My husband occasionally teases me that if I were any more introverted, I’d be nonfunctional in society.

When I first became a mother, I worried about how I was going to raise and homeschool my children without going crazy. Being an introvert, my social circle is very small. I am also the black sheep of my extended family, so they’ve been a non-factor in my life (which is my polite way of saying I have zero contact with most of my relatives). Babysitting is not easy to come by, especially because I’m extremely distrustful of leaving my children with people I don’t know very well.

It took some time, but I found my zen.

Which wound up leaving me well positioned for the lockdowns.

While others are sobbing for a break from their children, I already have the routine and boundaries in place for me to thrive. Bonus: As an introvert, I don’t require much interaction with others.

What I had initially feared would be a weakness, turned out to be a strength.

Obviously, what works for me probably isn’t going to work for most other people, because my form of recharging involves going inside my own head (usually to explore story ideas), but my advice is:

…

Honestly, I don’t enjoy giving advice; I couldn’t care less what you do. It’s mostly that I’ve seen some people having nervous breakdowns, and thought to myself, “Phew, glad I’m not like that.” I want to share my personal thoughts more, but I worry too much about hurting other people’s feelings. I’m not trying to rub it in.

But seriously, I really don’t care what you do or don’t do. It’s your life, and if you want to have a nervous breakdown and wallow in depression, go right ahead. All power to you.

About Me

2021

I’m going to be completely honest and tell you: I fully expect 2021 to be even worse.

You’re welcome.

Here’s the thing: Life isn’t a linear board game. The point isn’t to race to the end while accumulating the most money, and there aren’t any winners in the end.

Poets of the Fall is my favorite band, and the above quote comes from their song, “Love Will Come to You”. The lyrics continue on to say,

Life doesn’t run a clear course
It flows through from within
It’s supposed to take you places and leave markings on your skin

And those marks are just a sign of something true
you witnessed in your time
Of something new, like the start of something fine

Poets of the Fall, Love will Come to You

Life is an adventure. Life is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Sometimes we are meant to survive the black plague, or huddle in shelters as the cities around us burn, or scrounge for meager scraps of food in the face of starvation. The fact is, life never has been, and never will be, a set course to follow. It requires far too much adaptation and perseverance.

Our ancestors were strong AF, and they passed that strength on to us. If you’re worried about your ability to make it through tough times, remember that the gift of strength was already given to you through countless generations that survived hardships we can’t imagine. This is our adventure and our legacy – our moment in history. Embrace it, and pass the gift of strength on to the future.

So yes, I do fully believe that 2021 will be much harder, but I also fully believe that it’s our time to show the Universe what we’re made of.