My husband recommended The Kingdom of Loathing for me to play.
It’s pretty epic.
And yes, I named my character Carol Lambert. 😛
KoL
Tag: journal
Musing
The other day I was musing over how all of the creative sorts that I used to follow back in the day all dropped off the face of the planet, when it hit me: I dropped off the face of the planet, too. Talk about a blind spot, lol.
Though I didn’t have any adoring fans that I let down. There are people out there who are very good at commanding attention and getting noticed … and I am not one of them. I tend to become shy. So. Very. Shy.
Anyway, my absence from the planet is why I sit here saying, “I’m super passionate about writing,” with so few titles attached to my name.
Those lost years were essential. They added depth to my ideas that I wouldn’t have developed otherwise, and broke me out of the standard tropes. They gave me life experience.
They also left me too scattered for awhile afterwards to finish anything. I had no focus or consistency.
And I don’t like talking about it, so don’t ask.
Thankfully, in this part of my life, I’m a lot more solidly grounded, so I’m much better at writing nearly every day (I say after I took a full month off just because). That’s the part that really matters to me, but dang do I wish I was working faster sometimes.
Like, it would be so sweet if I was finishing TWO novels every year, instead of just one.
Because sometimes I feel like I have too many stories inside of me, waiting for their turn.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Milk
I’ve never had milk in green tea before, but the internet assures me that it will leave my life as a shattered wreck of a smoking crater, so I’m going for it.
#thrillseeker
Thank you for sharing my work!
Musings on MatC
I handwrote the Damon/Miranda letters months ago to feel more in character, and now I’m running into the problem of never being in the mood to transcribe them.
And here I had been fantasizing about posting two a week. Ha. Ha. I’m such a slacker.
I’m going to bluntly tell you right now, I don’t know how to end the letters. I don’t particularly want to write nine years of Miranda and Damon writing each other back and forth, but I would like to include the resolution at the end.
I’m probably going to have to switch over to third-person narration for the finale.
It will be epic and beautiful. Reduce you to tears, and all that jazz. So A-MAY-ZIIING.
My husband pointed out that their story is pretty far outside of the usual romance genre formula — but I’m good at being offbeat and weird.
It’s ‘normal’ that I struggle the most with.
Considering that I’ve never really lived ‘normal.’
Just wait until I start posting the Carol/Hartmann stuff I’ve been writing, lmao.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Anecdote
Back when I was 18, I had a friend ask me to go with her to apply for a job. I filled out an electronic application as well to kill time.
My friend was called in for an interview first, and bombed it. Then I got called in.
I didn’t actually *want* the job, but I played along anyway. On the day of my interview, I drank way too much caffeine and didn’t take it remotely seriously, because I figured it didn’t matter — there was no way I was going to get hired. I ended up pretending to be a completely different person.
Then I got offered the job.
I took it because it paid a bit more than the one I had previously.
Which turned out to be a big mistake.
It became very obvious very quickly that I was a bad fit. I strongly disliked all of my coworkers because I thought they were shallow, materialistic, and bitchy. To top it off, my manager backtracked on what she had said during the interview and was not only unwilling to accommodate my college classes, she scheduled me to work more hours than anyone else. I hated absolutely everything about all of it, and I wanted to bail.
But my parents lectured me about work ethic and blah blah blah, so I felt enormously pressured to stay. I put up with coworkers making passive-aggressive comments about my shoes, tolerated a pushy and demanding manager who was never satisfied with anything, and skipped my lunch break so I could leave early to show up late to my classes.
After a month, I remember standing with my back against a wall as I stared blankly into the room, feeling certain that my soul was taking damage from the toxic environment. I was fading.
Then I found out that I had been squeezed in last minute at a lower pay, and that the new(er) hires were making more money than I was because of a major change with the company — hence why I was given the more demanding schedule. I felt like the victim of nasty prank.
After two months, I couldn’t take it anymore and quit. I informed my manager that I was never coming in again, and that was it. I still hope it ruined her week.
With my next job, I was 100% myself in the interview, and ended up somewhere where I got along quite well with most of my coworkers. I stayed with this job until I met my husband and moved away to live with him.
Lately I’ve been reminding myself of this event in my life.
Reminding myself that “stepping out of my comfort zone” isn’t actually going to achieve anything desirable.
And I’m not going to let myself get chewed up and spat out in a vain effort to pursue my dreams.
Thank you for sharing my work!
Perception
Reality:
Portrayal on social media:
Aw crap, I forgot to add a lens flare.
Thank you for sharing my work!
MatC – 31
Thank you for sharing my work!
I am a Nerd
Just in case there was any confusion on the matter. XD
Thank you for sharing my work!
Joke
I’ve been pagan for my entire adult life, but I grew up Christian — not only did I go to church every Sunday, I went to the weekday activities too.
My youth group was fond of playing the game, Apples to Apples. For those who have never heard of it, a description card is placed down (eg ‘delicious’), and all the players choose the card from their hand that they think best matches it (eg ‘dessert’, ‘restaurant’, ‘homecooking’). A winner is chosen and they get a point, rinse and repeat.
Everyone else played it straightforward, but I liked to put down the silly cards for the laugh.
I realized very quickly that not only was no one else amused, they couldn’t even tell there was a joke staring right up at them. They were baffled. Why would someone say that kittens are delicious? It didn’t make any sense!
It turned into my private joke. More often then not, I played the ridiculous card, refused to fess up to it, and watched everyone else scratch their heads.
I knew I wasn’t like them.
Every silly card I played affirmed that fact over and over. I waited for the chuckles that never came.
In retrospect, that was one of the earliest things I did to assert myself as an individual.
Honestly, nothing has changed. It doesn’t really matter who I interact with, most of them can’t tell that there’s a joke staring up at them.
But every now and then, when I least expect it, somebody else laughs.
Thank you for sharing my work!
AatW Music Playlist
Awhile ago I started to put together a playlist of some songs that fit the characters from Alice and the Warden, then proceeded to forget entirely about its existence.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
In no particular order:
Rachel Platten – Fight Song ~ Miranda, obvie. She might have a narcissistic bitch streak, but she certainly knows how to get up and keep going.
The Wallflowers – One Headlight ~ Damon, particularly the part where the guy sings, “Sometimes I think I’d like to watch it burn.”
Celine Dion – It’s All Coming Back to Me ~ Damon. Not only does the music video have a guy on a motorcycle, it fits Damon’s hidden angst … and it’s a little bit funny to pin this song on him.
Rob Thomas – Pieces ~ Alice and Hackett. It’s a good reflection of how sweet they are together.
Sixx:A.M. – Stars ~ Miranda and Damon. This is what Miranda fantasizes about their relationship. Reality plays out differently.
Slash – Bad Rain ~ Damon. He’s torn up about Alice moving on.
By Autumn Rain 