Fade to White

Fade to White chapter 21

Fade to White

Chapter Twenty One

Tryne was already up and fixing breakfast when Jerek was awakened by the sun sneaking in through the window and shining on his face. It was still too early for his liking. Sitting up, Jerek could instantly feel the stiffness in his muscles and the soreness in his back. Rotating both of his shoulders then pulling his arms forward across his chest, he asked, “What are you making?”

“Pancakes and scrambled eggs. Don’t eat too much though, Ken’s going to be back here soon and I want there to be enough for him,” Tryne replied.

“Ken’s coming back?” Jerek scowled.

“I thought the two of you got along quite well last night. Why wouldn’t you be happy to see him now?” Tryne curiously looked over her shoulder at Jerek, bringing up the spoon she was using to stir the pancake batter with and unconsciously pointing it at her face.

“We have a common goal, that’s all. That doesn’t mean I have to like him.” Jerek stood up. “I’m going outside.”

“Don’t wander off too far. I’m almost finished with breakfast.” Tryne turned her head back to the stove, but hit her cheek with the spoon, smearing batter across her face. Squeezing her eyes shut, she wiped a gob off of her face then transferred it to her apron. “Smooth,” she muttered, wiping her face again.

“Graceful too,” Jerek added, turning Tryne’s head toward him and using his finger to swipe a spot of batter, then stuck it in his mouth.

“Don’t try and get all kinky with me, it won’t work.” With false indignation Tryne turned back to the stove and pushed the spoon back into the batter.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Jerek waved his hand, turning around and walking out the door.

The morning air felt cool against his shoulders and the skin of his back that wasn’t covered by bandages, and in the distant trees he could hear the birds chirping happily as the wind moved through the leaves in gentle pulses. Stretching his arm above his head, Jerek set out on a leisurely stroll. He loved this lifestyle, quite a lot. He enjoyed the freedom to walk around outside as he pleased, and he liked listening to the soothing sounds of nature. It was hard for him to imagine that he had lived so long in the darkness of the castle, only venturing outside when he was on a mission or stealing time to ride his horse for a couple hours. This was how life was supposed to be.

“Hello there!” a voice called clearly across the breeze, and Jerek turned to see Ken riding on his horse.

“You’re early.”

“Don’t act so happy to see me. Is Tryne inside?” Ken dismounted, readjusting the bag he had slung over his back.

“Yes.”

“Breakfast!” Tryne yelled, stepping outside of the cottage. “Oh Ken, you’re here! Come inside, you’re just in time to eat.”

“Delightful!” Ken answered back, pushing past Jerek and handing off his horse’s reigns to him as well, before stepping inside.

Jerek looked at the painted mare, whose glossy eyes stared back at him. “You don’t like him either, huh?” Jerek whispered to it, stroking its nose before leading it to the post near the cottage and tying it up next to his own horse. “Be nice,” Jerek directed at his horse, “we have a common enemy.”

Stepping inside, he saw Ken already seated on the edge of his bed with a plate piled high with pancakes and eggs. Jerek picked up his own place, and put a couple pancakes on it.

“I think you’ll be happy to see that I have brought a few things back from town with me,” Ken said, putting his concentration to getting a piece of egg to stick on his fork.

“What? I didn’t need anything from town.”

“You’re only walking around shirtless exposing your tattoo for all the world to see,” Tryne interjected, sitting down with her own breakfast.

“Does it offend you?” Jerek asked, watching her.

“No, it’s just . . . It’s a little strange to see it on you, that’s all.” Tryne avoided meeting his eyes.

“So she asked me to bring back some clothes for you, and out of the kindness of my heart, I did. They’re in the bag.” Ken tilted his head in the direction to where he had set the bag down. Jerek went over to it and opened it up, pulling out a dark red shirt, then a black one.

“I told you, I only wear white.”

“I want to see you in those colors. Come on, just live with it. I’m sure you’ll get used to them.”

“You’ll get used to it all right. Tryne has a way of getting everyone to do everything she wants.” Ken laughed.

“I’ve noticed,” Jerek growled. Dropping the black one to the floor, he pulled the red shirt over his head and looked down at it, unsure of what to make of it.

“You look good,” Tryne commented, smiling.

Shrugging his shoulders, Jerek sat down and began eating again. “So what are the plans?” he asked.

“I was kind of hoping that you could tell me what they were,” Ken replied. “How is your standing with Nosaj?”

“Shaky.”

“Can you still get close to him without suspicion?”

“Probably.”

“Then we’ll go for an assassination. All you would have to do is go into the castle, walk right up to Nosaj, and stab him.”

“How would I get back out of the castle? What would you do if the government didn’t collapse with his death, and someone else took over?”

“You could . . . I don’t really know. We’re still in the planning stages, so it doesn’t need to be solid yet.”

“I can see why your resistance group hasn’t overthrown Nosaj yet.” Jerek shook his head, smirking to himself. “All you know how to do is survive, but you don’t have a clue when it comes to accomplishing your goal. That’s the difference between us.”

“Then teach me, how do we accomplish this?”

“We attack. All the resistance and boycotts your group has been pulling hasn’t achieved a thing. You can’t continue with those tactics. What you need to do is directly attack Nosaj’s castle. Storm inside, kill everyone there.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“Everything worth having is worth fighting for. Do you want to be free of Nosaj?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’ll fight. You need to round up everyone you can who is willing to, and that means women as well as the men.”

“This sounds more like an act of desperation.”

“Maybe it is, but it’s the only thing that will have any sort of effect. Nosaj’s castle isn’t as guarded as you may think. Most of his soldiers are currently in Amber and Opal. At the very least, you’ll send him the message that you mean business.”

Ken nodded. “When should I round people up?”

“A couple days from now. But first I really need to rest up, then I’ll head back to the castle so Nosaj doesn’t suspect I’m up to something. To throw him off even further, I’ll confess to him that I’ve fallen for a girl and that’s where I’ve been disappearing to. He won’t be suspicious.”

“You’re going to tell him the truth?” Tryne inquired.

“Isn’t that the best way to deceive someone?” Jerek chuckled.

“All right, tonight I’ll send word out for every single rebel group member to meet here and prepare for battle. In a couple days we’ll finally overthrow Nosaj.” Ken raised his fist, glory burning in his eyes. “This is what we’ve all been waiting for!”

“Waiting never accomplishes anything.” Jerek stood up, putting his empty plate down on the stove. “I’m going to continue my walk, and think about the best tactics for storming the castle. You stay here,” he pointed to Tryne, then over at Ken, “and you, remember that she’s mine. I don’t trust you around her anymore.”

Ken seemed surprised. “Did she tell you that we were . . . ?”

“No, I haven’t,” Tryne interrupted. “It slipped my mind. It’s so unimportant.”

Frowning, Jerek looked suspiciously at them but didn’t ask any questions, silently going out the door.

“Don’t want him to know, huh?” Ken rested his chin in his hand.

“No, it just doesn’t seem necessary to tell him. It would just raise questions and result in awkward explanations, and you don’t want to hear me proclaiming that I never wanted to go through with it. It’s just easier this way, right?”

“I guess so. What about the other thing? Are you ever going to tell him about that?”

“I don’t know, not right now.”

“It’s unusual for you to act like this.”

“I know, it’s just that there was something about that guy that made me feel horribly insecure about my relationship with Jerek. It’s weird, but I feel that way.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t ever say a thing.” Ken pulled his fingers across his lips. “It’s sealed shut.”

“Thank you.”

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Fade to White

Fade to White Chapter 20

Fade to White

Chapter Twenty

Opening his eyes, Jerek stared up at the ceiling above him. He could hear voices talking outside, but he didn’t have the desire to get up to investigate. Instead, he wanted to lie there forever and ignore the pain that racked his body. Punishment, he decided, was the worst thing that could happen to a person.

The door opened, letting the red sunset splash onto the floor as Tryne poked her head in. “Hey, Jerek, are you awake?”

Growling, Jerek turned to face the wall. “Unfortunately.”

Pushing her way into the room completely, Tryne walked up to the bed and leaned over Jerek, trying to catch his gaze. “I’m supposed to get you up and moving around.”

“What? Why?” Jerek frowned, pretending to feel betrayed.

“Because in Ken’s expert opinion that would be the best thing to do to keep your muscles from getting stiff.”

“Ken’s here?”

“Yeah, he showed up about an hour ago. Sorry, we were talking about you.”

“Doesn’t he hate me?”

“I do,” Ken answered, standing silhouetted in the door way. “But I’m here to make a proposal to you.”

“For what?” Jerek finally sat up, squinting to look at Ken.

“I want you to help us take Nosaj out of power.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“If you do it, then I’ll calmly hand Tryne over to you and let you marry her. No objections.”

“You never told me about that, Ken.” Tryne frowned, sticking her tongue out at him. “I’ll do what I want.”

“What if I don’t do it?” Jerek asked, grinning.

“I’ll tie you up and force you to watch Tryne and I get married, then I’ll kill you.”

“Ken!” Tryne objected.

“What if I say I’ll do it, then betray you?” Jerek questioned again, starting to smile widely now.

“Then I’ll hunt you down and kill you, then marry Tryne over your grave.”

“That’s enough Ken! Honestly, you act like I’m some sort of object to pass around!” Tryne loudly protested, glaring at Ken.

“All right, I’ll do it. But only because the prettiest girl in the world is at stake. Unless, of course, I decide to kill you right now and marry Tryne over your grave,” Jerek coyly answered, tilting his head to one side.

“Not you too!” Tryne threw her hands up and walked to the door where Ken moved to the side to let her through.

Ken strode further into the cottage, closing the door behind him and filling the room with darkness. “I figured you were with Nosaj right from the start. The only reason I never said anything was because Tryne had taken a liking to you.”

“Shouldn’t that have been a reason for you to sing out against me? You’re a smart one.” Jerek shrugged. “Is that what we’re going to talk about now?”

“No.” Ken shook his head. “Tell me honestly, why have you decided to join me?”

“For Tryne.”

“Besides that.”

Jerek looked at Ken with a penetrating gaze before answering, “For revenge.”

Ken seemed satisfied with that answer, thoughtfully pursing his lips together. “Then I have nothing to fear from you, for now. Tryne said that you had left Nosaj, but I couldn’t be completely sure until I found out your reasons for myself.”

“How old are you?” Jerek suddenly inquired.

“What? Why does it matter?”

“Because it seems as if you’ve been leading this resistance group for a long time. Long enough to not trust anyone at all.”

“Let’s just say that I’ve had a lot of experience during the time I’ve been involved in our resistance. I’d dare say I’m younger than you, though.”

“Impossible. You act older.”

“How old are you?” Ken asked, throwing the question back at Jerek.

“Twenty-five. Now it’s your turn.”

“I’m twenty-three. I knew I was younger than you.”

“Then how long has this resistance group been around?”

Ken shrugged. “I don’t know, for longer than I’ve been alive. My parents were part of it, and I think my grandparents too.”

“Nosaj has been in power for thirty years and the terrorists haven’t ever been able to kick him out, or even prevent him from doing anything? What makes you think that is going to change now?”

“Because we’ve grown.” Ken’s eyes started shining as he passionately explained, “There are a lot more of us now than there have ever been before. Young adults who are more willing to fight because they have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Do you understand? More and more people are recognizing that Nosaj’s dictatorship isn’t a good form of government at all, and they are also willing to risk anarchy to get rid of him. Of course, that’s not going to happen.” Ken puffed out his chest, drawing his shoulders back and raising his head up. “Once he’s gone, we’ll be establishing a democracy under my care and guidance.”

“And you’re going to be elected as the leader,” Jerek interjected.

“Yes.” Ken chuckled. “You’re very perceptive. That’s what I’m hoping will happen.”

“You know, if I stay with Nosaj, or if I kill both you and him, I’ll be the next leader,” Jerek said casually.

“But you don’t want to be the next leader. Tryne told me that you wanted to run away with her.”

“Tryne talks to you too much,” Jerek muttered.

“Besides, the ambition to become a ruler in and of itself isn’t a bad thing at all. I don’t want to abuse my power, but rather use it to ensure that the people’s lives will be better.”

“How strange, I swear I’ve heard Nosaj give the exact same speech.”

Ken drew back defensively, glaring at Jerek. “My people will be saying that, not me.”

“It’s just a matter of perspective, I guess.” Jerek shrugged his shoulders in a disarming manner. “Just make sure you don’t raise taxes too much, or soon you’ll find yourself being usurped.”

“There will be a ruling council as well. I won’t be the only one in charge.”

“Is there any food?” Jerek stood up, stretching his arms above his head then pulling them back down with a wince.

“Ask Tryne. She’s probably been listening into our conversation.”

“Not the entire thing!” a muffled voice came through the door, then it opened and Tryne came inside. “I’ve prepared a picnic basket for us. We can go down by the stream to eat.”

“I’m too famished to walk.”

“If you want to eat, you’ll have to walk.” Taking hold of Jerek’s hand, Tryne pulled him outside. “I want to hear you say it to me again.”

“Say what?”

“What you said to me before you fell asleep, of course.”

“Oh.” Jerek looked over at Ken.

“Don’t be embarrassed on my part,” Ken said teasingly. “I already know all about it.”

“Oh.”

“Come on Jerek, I love you.” Tryne stopped, moving closer to him to whisper in his ear. “I love you with all my heart.”

“I love you too, Tryne,” he mumbled, slightly turning pink.

“It was a lot more dramatic the first time you said it, and I think I liked that one better. It really took me by surprise, but I could have died of happiness while you were venting about how much you loved me.”

“What are you getting at?”

“This is just payback for bargaining with me like that.” Tryne smiled, wrinkling the bridge of her nose.

“Ken started it. Do something to torture him.” Jerek scowled over at Ken, who was silently laughing to himself.

“It’s more fun bugging you.”

“Tch, maybe I ought to let him marry you instead.”

Tryne moved her arm up to hit Jerek, but he scuttled away and uttered, “Wounded,” before she actually landed any blows. Lowering her hand, she grabbed onto Jerek’s arm and hugged it, briefly saying that she was sorry.

Jerek laughed, feeling as something wonderful filled up the inside of his chest. It seemed that once he took care of Nosaj, his life would become much happier and peaceful, and he wanted that. Destroying Nosaj would be the gateway into that life.

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Fade to White

Fade to White Chapter 19

Fade to White

Chapter Nineteen

Bright warm sun shone down on the roof of the quiet cottage while the birds chirped in the trees, giving the illusion that Ramo had stumbled across an abandoned magical hideaway. If he hadn’t known otherwise, he would have been tempted to wander into the building to look around and to find out if the place was really as pristine and quiet as it looked. It was important that he put Jerek’s bag somewhere that it could easily be found, to prevent it from getting lost and never reaching Jerek at all. That meant close to the house.

Dismounting his horse and holding tightly to the shoulder strap of the bag, Ramo skulked around, cautiously making his way closer to the front door. Everything remained completely quiet, and when he reached the front door and put the sack down onto the ground, he relaxed his shoulders. Next was the sword. Jerek would be furious if he didn’t properly take care of it, so Ramo undid it from his belt and carefully reached over to prop it up against the outside wall. The front door swung open, causing Ramo to stumble backwards and fall down.

That girl was there, standing stunned as she stared down at him. In one of her hands was a bucket, while her other hand still rested on the door. Scrambling backwards, Ramo started to pick himself up with the intent of running, but she said “wait,” and he felt compelled to stop.

“Who are you?” she asked, frowning at him as she took in his black clothes and gloomy appearance.

“Nobody,” Ramo replied, standing up and dusting himself off before turning around to walk back to his horse.

“Did you bring these?” she inquired, stepping outside and picking up the bag, opening it enough to peer inside.

“Make sure that Jerek gets them.”

“Are you Jerek’s friend?” She pulled the door shut, taking a couple steps closer to Ramo.

Looking over his shoulder at her, Ramo replied, “We grew up together.”

“Really?” She smiled, then seemed to realize something that made her pull back slightly. “You’re with Nosaj, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then why haven’t you tried to kill me yet?”

“I’m not . . .” Ramo trailed off, wondering how he should explain it. “I’m not a fighter, and I’m not supposed to be here.”

“People who work for Nosaj are more complicated than I originally thought. Last month I could have sworn to you that all of Nosaj’s minions were blood thirsty murderers who destroyed everything they could, and now I’ve met two of you that break out of that stereotype. What’s up with that?” She laughed slightly.

“I’m Jerek’s best friend,” Ramo blurted out. “I would never do anything to hurt Jerek, and I would never shove away from me no matter what he did.”

Her face grew serious after he said that, and she looked sadly at the ground. “I’m glad that Jerek has a friend like you.”

“I’m just here to help him out. That’s all.”

“Thank you, I’m sure Jerek will appreciate it.”

Curiosity got the better of Ramo, so he casually asked, “How’s he doing?”

“He’s sleeping right now. I just barely finished bandaging up his back, and it looks like he’ll be fine in a couple days. It’s horrible how he was whipped like that, he must have been in a lot of pain.”

“I tried to get him to fight his punishment, but he refused to . . . He said he deserved it.”

“Oh dear.” She put her hand up to her forehead. “That’s probably my fault.”

“Yes it was your fault!” Ramo started fuming, glaring at her. “He didn’t deserve it, but he was hurt because of you.”

She didn’t reply, turning around and picking up Jerek’s sword as well. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, pushing the door open.

“Don’t tell Jerek!” Ramo said before dashing off.

That girl was most definitely a siren, Ramo was sure of that. There was some undefinable characteristic about her that made him want to like her, yet at the same time hate her all the more for using that power in such an evil and manipulative way. Poor Jerek, he had been ensnared by that girl’s enchantment and he was convinced that he loved her, but at the same time Ramo did trust Jerek with her, at least physically. She wouldn’t kill him. She didn’t seem like she was capable of actually harming someone, instead she seemed to be more of the type to use psychological warfare.

Mounting his brown horse, Ramo reaffirmed his conviction in his mind that they needed to get rid of the girl for Jerek’s own good, though he knew now that Jerek would resist and be devastated when it happened. Ramo would be there for him though, to help him pick up the pieces and move on. Perhaps, Jerek would choose to move on with him. Ramo giggled. Yes, that was going to happen. Everything would turn out okay, as long as he trusted in the Commander and stood there for Jerek, no matter what Jerek did or said. Nosaj would help him to win Jerek back.

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Muse

Aww how cute!

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From Pinterest

I’m such a sucker for beauty/beast pairings.

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Fade to White chapter 17

Fade to White

Chapter Seventeen

Making it to the edge of the clearing of Tryne’s farm, Jerek felt his strength drain completely from his body, and suddenly he was lying horizontal on the ground. His horse stopped this time, lowering its head down to bite at the soft grass. Rolling onto his back, Jerek stared up at the blue sky, resting his hands across his stomach and feeling relaxed. He didn’t want to ever move again. In fact, what he felt like doing was going to sleep. Seemingly on their own, his eyelids closed and blocked out the view he had of the world around him.

Soft warm hands touched his face, and he slowly opened one eye. The sky was lighter, a pinkish hue that signified dawn. Her hair was loose around her face, and hanging down toward him as she leaned over him, her facial features seeming to be even softer and more beautiful in the pale light.

“Come on Jerek,” Tryne whispered, “We’re going inside.”

Jerek sat up, and put his hand to his forehead as dizziness suddenly washed over him. Feeling sick, he leaned forward, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his teeth. He could hear Tryne gasp, then her hot hands touched his shoulders and guided him forward so he was braced up against her body. Putting both of his arms around her, Jerek pulled her tightly against his cold chest, resting his cheek against her hair.

“I need you to stand up Jerek. I can’t carry you to the cottage.”

“Just . . .” Jerek’s voice cracked, “. . . a little bit . . .”

“Shh, don’t speak. We’ll wait as long as we need to.”

“Tryne, I’m sorry.”

A hot tear splashed against Jerek’s frozen skin, surprising him. Tryne buried her head in the crook of his neck, and he could feel more of her tears falling. “I shouldn’t,” she sobbed, “but I do. I love you, Jerek.”

Jerek pushed Tryne slightly away from him so he could see into her eyes. He brushed away a tear with his thumb, putting both of his hands against her cheeks. Then, lips slightly parted, he kissed her, holding her so tightly against him he almost couldn’t breathe. But, he didn’t really want to breathe. He just wanted her.

Something inside Ramo broke, and he pulled himself back behind the tree, sinking to the ground. Water flowed freely from his eyes as he rested his head against his knees, and he put his hands up to his ears. Everything made so much sense to him now, and he felt stupid for not realizing it sooner, for not being able to see this coming.

Jerek was in love with a woman.

Ramo knew he had no claims over Jerek, and he had no right to be as upset as he was. Jerek had made it very clear that he would never feel any tender emotions toward him, yet despite that Ramo had continued holding on to the hope that some day Jerek would. At the very least, he had hoped that he would forever be Jerek’s one and only friend. Even that had been ripped away from him, because of that girl. A sudden and deep hatred filled Ramo’s chest, directed toward the female who had the gall to touch Jerek. She had gotten into Jerek’s head, manipulating and controlling him to the point where Jerek had turned against the Commander and King. That had to be the answer. There was no other way that Jerek could possibly be in love with someone, no other reason for the things that he had said to Ramo. Someone else was controlling him.

That girl needed to be exterminated before she could cause any more damage.

Standing up, Ramo pressed his hand against his heart. Even if Jerek wasn’t himself, it still hurt to see him kiss a girl like that. It hurt a lot. Treading softly, Ramo walked deeper into the forest to where he had dismounted his horse and headed back to the castle. It was important that the Commander heard about this right away.

“You’re so cold,” Tryne whispered, brushing her hand through the side of Jerek’s hair and feeling along his arm. “Can you come inside?”

Nodding, Jerek pushed himself up but faltered slightly. Tryne caught hold of him, and putting his arm around her shoulders, supported him as they slowly shuffled their way to the cottage. Inside, Tryne sat Jerek down on one of the beds, then immediately filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove.

“What happened to you?” she asked, pulling out a few rags and dumping them on the floor next to the bed, sitting on her knees next to them.

“I was whipped for disobedience.”

“Didn’t you say that you were the heir to Nosaj?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Will you please tell me the truth now?”

Taking a deep breath, Jerek looked away for a moment then met Tryne’s eyes again. “Nosaj adopted me when I was five years old after my parents died in a fire. I was raised for the sole purpose of being his successor, and recently I had started carrying out Nosaj’s dirty work for him. Destroying Opal was my doing.”

“What about the orphans? Did you really take their sister in exchange for letting them go?”

“Heh, yeah.” Jerek shook his head, grinning slightly but using his hand to cover it. “I shouldn’t have, since I was supposed to kill everyone and leave no survivors. If Nosaj had known about the orphans, he would have been furious with me. He chastised me over the girl, though I knew he was pleased with her.”

“Is she still there with him?”

“No, I killed her.”

Pulling a disgusted face, Tryne looked away and stood up, walking over to the stove and looking at the kettle.

“Tryne.” Jerek stood up as well, moving right behind her. “I didn’t mean to kill her.”

“Did you have anything to do with my Mother’s death?”

“No. From the very first day I met you, I didn’t have anything to do with Nosaj’s actions at all. I was completely unaware of them until after they happened.”

Turning around to face Jerek, Tryne asked, “How do I know I can trust you?”

“My loyalty lies only with you, isn’t this proof enough?” Jerek spread out his arms and twisted around to show the cuts in his back.

“The water is warm enough now, go lie down on your stomach.”

Jerek did as he was ordered, feeling pained at Tryne’s unemotional tone. Dipping the rag into the water, Tryne rung it out then dabbed it at the wounds in his back, causing them to sting. Wincing, Jerek gritted his teeth and clutched at the blankets on the bed.

“I’m sorry, I know it hurts.” There was a pause, before Tryne continued asking, “Did you really sever all your ties with Nosaj? Are you really loyal only to me or is this some sort of set up?”

“I’m telling you the truth! I’m not stupid enough to do something like this just to get one person. If I intended to hurt you, I would have done it a long time ago.”

“Well I don’t know. I thought I knew you, but it turned out that I was wrong. You could be capable of anything.”

“I won’t ever deceive you ever again.” Sitting up, Jerek grabbed both of Tryne’s wrists and held them. “I love you, Tryne! I shouldn’t, I have no right to, but I do! I’ve loved you from the first moment I saw you! I loved you when you forced me to do menial labor, and I loved you for all of your silly little activities you insisted on making me do with you! I love you!”

Tryne was surprised for a second, but then smiled very warmly as she gently pushed Jerek back down. “I can’t clean your wounds if you keep moving around like that.” Putting one of her hands on Jerek’s head, she stroked his hair and whispered, “I’ll never doubt you again, my love. Stay with me for always.”

“I’ll never leave you, even if you tell me to.”

“I’m glad. Your back is probably going to be extremely sore after this. I mean, you were whipped and you rode your horse all the way here without it being bandaged up or anything. You might not even be able to move.”

Jerek grunted in reply.

“Do you still want to run away with me?”

“I intend to as soon as I can.”

“Maybe I ought to go into town and buy you some clothes. Have you ever considered wearing a black or red shirt? I bet that you would look very good in those colors.”

“White suits me just fine,” Jerek grumbled, then yawned.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You’re probably exhausted. Go ahead and sleep.”

“Don’t leave the cottage without me,” Jerek murmured, closing his eyes. “I don’t want anything happening to you. It isn’t safe in Amber.”

“I won’t.” Smiling, Tryne dipped the rag into the water again and continued wiping up Jerek’s blood. “I’ve got enough to do around here just worrying about you. I swear, you always seem to be getting yourself injured, like a wild cat that gets into fights. I have to stick around to make sure you don’t hurt yourself any more.”

Taking a deep breath, Jerek mouthed the words, “I love you,” once more before slipping off into sleep.

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Fade to White chapter 15

Fade to White

Chapter Fifteen

“Where have you been?” Ramo called out, running to Jerek with an anxious expression on his face.

Jerek paused, but he avoided looking directly at Ramo, instead staring down to the side. Finally, after considering for a second what he should say, Jerek replied, “Womanizing.” As Ramo stood stunned, Jerek continued on, going into his bedroom and slamming the door shut, locking it as well. He instantly dropped down to his knees and pulled out a cigaret, lighting it and sucking on it hard. Sitting at the window, he stared outside without really seeing anything, a heavy and painful feeling lodged into the center of his chest. His dream was over. The magic of the new life he had tried to build was dashed by the reality of whom he was. More than anything, he mourned the fact that she had cried because of him.

Putting his hand up against the window sill, Jerek leaned his forehead against it and closed his eyes. The pain was too much as it spread from his chest to the back of his throat, where it formed into a ball that threatened to choke him if he didn’t let it out. A sound managed to escape, jolting his entire body as it did. Jerek pressed himself tighter against his hand, his fingers digging at the stone and his eyes squeezing shut, but that didn’t stop the single droplet from hitting the bottom of the window sill, or the one that followed it.

“Jerek!” Ramo called, first trying the doorknob then banging his fist on the door. “Let me in Jerek! We need to talk!”

Jerek jumped up, quickly gulping down the knot in the back of his throat and wiping his eyes. “What do you want?” he called out, but immediately regretted it because of the shakiness in his voice. It was obvious that Ramo had noticed it because there was a stronger sense of urgency when he replied,

“I need you to let me in!”

This was no good. Ramo was perceptive enough to realize that something was wrong with him, and stubborn enough not to leave him alone until he knew why. Sometimes Ramo was too feminine for Jerek’s liking. Opening the door, Jerek stood and looked at Ramo as he silently stared back at him. Jerek knew his eyes were probably red and tired looking, but he firmly set his mouth against portraying any emotion.

“What happened?” Ramo asked timidly.

“Nothing.” Jerek retreated back into his bedroom, leaving the door open for Ramo to follow.

“So you’re just having a little PMS?”

Jerek whirled around, punching the wall in a sudden fit of anger, yelling as he did so, “I told you nothing happened!”

Ramo pulled his lip back, slightly biting it. “Maybe this really is PMS.”

“Stop it.”

“I’m sorry.” Looking down at the floor, Ramo seemed on the verge of crying himself. “Something bad happened to you, and here I am making fun of you. I shouldn’t be so mean to you. You don’t deserve it.”

Jerek’s mood switched again, and he himself wondered about his hormonal balance as he felt the urge to laugh. “I deserve every form of cruelty I get, and even more.”

“No, you don’t!”

“Yes I do.”

There was a pause for a moment, and when Ramo realized that Jerek had no intention of elaborating, he asked, “What did you mean when you said that you had been womanizing?”

“Nothing.” Finding an excuse, Jerek added, “I just wanted to throw you off.”

Even in the current circumstance, Ramo couldn’t stop his smile of relief. “Then what have you been doing?”

“Hanging out in Amber, mostly.”

“Are you upset because the Commander sent the troops out without you? You must understand that you had simply disappeared for a few days and that no one knew where you were. The Commander was furious, and then he finally sent the soldiers out.” A sudden realization seemed to hit Ramo, and he looked up at Jerek with large eyes. “What are you going to do about the Commander? He’s going to skin you alive!”

“I can take care of myself. It doesn’t matter.”

“No, it does matter! Nosaj was livid! He said that he was going to punish you severely for just abandoning him like that. Jerek, you’re going to get whipped!”

“Then so be it.” Jerek shrugged. “So what if I get whipped? It doesn’t really matter anyway.”

“Yes it does.” Testing, Ramo put his hand against Jerek’s chest, and when Jerek didn’t react he proceeded to lay his head against him as well. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Gulping down the urge to cry, Jerek reached up and uncertain with himself touched Ramo’s shoulder, causing Ramo to look up at him with surprise. “There are some things that we don’t have any control over.”

“No, don’t say that.” Clutching Jerek’s shirt, Ramo shook his head as sparkling tears appeared in the corners of his eyes. “There is always something we can do! Don’t give up! I don’t want you to be beaten, so please help me to help you avoid that punishment!”

“You’re so girly.” Prying Ramo’s hands away, Jerek smirked. “If I’m in the mood, then maybe I’ll try something. You really shouldn’t get all emotional and desperate like that. It’s not masculine. I’m tempted to think that you’re really a girl who disguised herself as a man. That would be shameful.”

“I am not! I’m a man! I just happen to be a little more in touch with my emotions than you do, and that’s all there is to it. I bet that you feel every single emotion that I do. You just keep it bottled up.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Though, inside Jerek couldn’t help but admit that Ramo was right. At that very moment his heart was back at the cottage, and his desire to be with and protect Tryne was as strong as it had ever been. “So you think it’s important to follow your emotions?”

“Yes. Especially when the emotion is strong, because holding it back will only damage you on the inside.”

“Hmm,” Jerek grunted. “Where is Nosaj?”

“In the Throne Room. Why?”

“Might as well get this over and done with now.”

“You’re crazy!” Ramo called after him as Jerek walked steadily down the hallway toward the Throne Room. Often, he had gone to that room to report news on various activities, but never before had he been in trouble like this. Although on the outside he seemed confident, inside he was scared. There was a part of him now that never wanted to see Nosaj again, a part of him that hated Nosaj with everything he had, the part that blamed Nosaj for all the misery he had ever experienced in his life.

“Wait!” Ramo yelled, and Jerek did stop, turning around while Ramo ran to catch up to him. “I’m going with you.”

“If you don’t want to see me get hurt, I suggest you stay here.”

“You won’t get hurt. I won’t let you.”

“Then if you don’t want to see me hurt Nosaj, stay here.”

“Huh?” Ramo frowned, confused.

“Haven’t you ever really thought about it? What happened to your sister, how my parents died, what if those things didn’t really occur how we were told they did?”

“I don’t understand.”

Jerek sighed, putting his hand on his forehead as he turned around and started walking again. “If Nosaj is such a benevolent ruler, then why do so many people hate him? Commoners don’t seem to be stupid and rebellious at all.”

“We were attacked by a mob.” Ramo’s voice was dark, his head pointed down as he spoke. “A band of peasants who knew about my father’s position with the Commander came in the middle of the night and burned our house down. They dragged my older sister out by her hair, tore and shredded her clothes, then raped her so brutally she died. All while I watched!” Ramo looked up, tears streaming from his eyes. “The louder she screamed, the harder they laughed! It was Nosaj who . . . it was him who took me in and gave me a new home to live in, and he gave me the best friend that I’ve ever had. I can’t believe that Nosaj is wrong! His methods may be harsh, his morals may be dead, but that doesn’t make him a liar! People hate him because he rules them, because they’ll always hate someone more powerful than they are!”

“Ramo . . .”

“It was Nosaj who took you in too! He gave you your position. He made you his heir! He saved you from those same peasants that attacked my family! They knew about you, they knew that . . .”

“That’s enough!” Jerek yelled, cutting Ramo off. Quieter, he added, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things. It’s just that . . .”

Ramo didn’t say anything in reply, continuing to look at Jerek with tears in his eyes. Hesitantly, Jerek stepped forward and put one arm around Ramo, pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry, I don’t want you mad at me too,” he whispered.

“Jerek, I . . .”

“Touching.” Nosaj’s voice was cold and menacing, an exact reflection of his eyes while he stood watching Jerek and Ramo.

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Muse

Under Grey Skies

I can feel something brewing in my head when I listen to this song.