
Category: Stories
Lartmann and Hambert Are Dead
A/N: …I wanted a break from serious writing...
……
Hartmann paced around the empty room, occasionally flipping a coin and studying it, before continuing on his circuit. Lambert, on the other hand, sat still in the middle of the floor, staring up at the ceiling.
โDo you โฆโ he began, then hesitated.
โGet sick of all these tails?โ Hartmann suggested. โCan’t say I do.โ
Lambert gave him a flat look. โI thought you were getting heads.โ
โNot from you,โ Hartmann muttered in reply.
โWhat I meant to say was that it seems like we’re stuck in a featureless void.โ
โLooks more like a room to me.โ
โDo you see any doors or windows?โ
โNo. But there are distinct planes and vertices.โ
Lambert rolled his eyes. โAlright then, a featureless cube.โ
โClearly, the answer is that when we were told we were going to be integrated into a biomechanical alien species, we were lied to. Either this room is some sort of alien prison, or we’re dead,โ Hartmann replied.
โYes. That makes sense,โ Lambert mused. โBut why do you have that coin?โ
โIt was in my pocket.โ
โAnd why does it only ever come up heads?โ
โAlien space magic. Why else?โ Hartmann answered.
โDo you ever think that you and I are ultimately interchangeable?โ
โWe’re the variables. You represent the noble side of humanity, while I’m the cavalier aspect. Lawful good versus chaotic neutral.โ
โWhatever.โ
โYou wanted to talk about it,โ Hartmann muttered.
โSometimes we might as well be the same person,โ Hambert said darkly.
โThere could be some truth to that,โ Lartmann replied. โOur identities are already intermixing.
โI liked who I was,โ Harbert said sulkily.
โHow do you think I feel? You are a comparatively boring person,โ Lamtmann pouted.
โDamn alien technology,โ Hartert grumbled.
โTell me about it,โ Lambmann agreed.
โFading โฆโ Hartmet gasped.
โNo โฆโ Lambeann sobbed.
And together, they merged into Lartbertmann โ half man, half another man.
~Fin
MatC – 25
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MatC – 23
MatC – 22
MatC – 21
MatC – 20
TSS – Not Worth Helping
Quote
Carol had never felt anything towards anyone before, and had never had a reason to be uncomfortable with that fact, either. But something about Lambert was strangely familiar, as if they were simply falling back into a relationship that had begun long ago. Somehow, she was certain that she had been to his house before, and had sat in the living room watching a movie in much the same way, only this time they were finally indulging in their feelings for each other.
It was a very odd sensation.
The Scion Suit – Multiverse Edition








