Category: About Me

About Me

Home Birth

Autumn

I have a much easier time telling when cats are going to go into labor than I do with myself, lmao. XD

I’ve been musing about which topic I should complain about in an effort to keep myself distracted, and I figure that I might as well keep with the theme: home birth.

It’s actually been a few years since I’ve had anything to do with the organized home birth community. While I fully support the idea that society needs to stop treating women like our bodies are defective, the per se group itself has been becoming increasingly “yuppie-fied.”

I stopped associating with them because of the pressure to include doulas and birth photographers, and they frowned heavily on my preferred setting of having just my husband and midwife present. If there’s anything I hate, it’s having a stranger tell me how to live my life, and I sure as hell don’t want to be surrounded by a crowd while I’m in labor.

Besides, hiring someone to take nudie pics of me is really not a lifestyle choice I want to make. I’m too private for that.

The problem with groups is that they all eventually devolve into “group think.” Women like me, who are seeking empowerment and personal choice, get pushed out of the way by those who want to flaunt themselves on Facebook, and they expect everyone else to be the same way. Giving birth should not be about who can shell out the most $$$ while getting ready for your close up, but a lot of people treat it that way now.

There is no right or wrong way to give birth. It’s okay to scream. It’s okay to feel terrified. You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to. You can move around, or curl up in bed. It’s one of the biggest experiences of your life, and it’s okay to claim it as being 100% your own — don’t surrender to someone else’s expectations of how you should behave. Don’t try to look good on camera. Just be you.

Thankfully, I have an old-school midwife who understands me.

About Me

Nearing the end

Autumn

I’m officially nine months pregnant. I know from experience that waiting for the baby to come is the worst way to spend that final stretch … which is why I’m doing exactly that. XD

Given the number of viruses going around, we’ve opted to seclude ourselves already for the sake of being extra careful — don’t want a tiny newborn getting exposed to anything. Of course, with being so heavy and tired, it’s hard to keep up with my regular daily activities, and I’ve gotten to the point of deciding that if I haven’t deep cleaned it yet, I don’t need to. Heck, sometimes I wish that I was more in the habit of mindlessly killing time, but I just don’t have the stomach for too much internet.

So I’m waiting.

One of the things that I dislike about the homebirth community is that, like all groups, most of the members put up a front to make everything seem better than it is. Personally, I think that the very last part of pregnancy is supposed to be miserable, with hormonal changes and the overwhelming feeling of being so done that you can’t even … basically, it’s nature’s way of motivating you to embrace labor and the pain of pushing a human being through your *ahem*. I often feel like I’m the only one who openly says, “This part sucks.”

There’s nothing wrong with hating something — the pleasant and unpleasant are of equal value, and life is best spent honoring both.

Not that I expect anyone to understand.

Personally, I think that it’s a very small price to pay for the sake of gaining a lifetime friend.

About Me

Forbidden Chronicles – 3

Autumn

I keep a photo on the fridge from a family reunion that happened several years ago, back when we only had two babies. Everyone is neatly lined up with smiles plastered on their faces, until you get to where my husband and I were standing near the end of the row … Both of our children were throwing gigantic tantrums at having to pause the fun and games to pose for a picture. There was no bribing them, no calming them down, and both my husband and I were laughing at how hilarious the situation was.

I don’t keep that photo on the fridge because it was a happy memory or because I like my family.

I keep it there to remind myself of how I fit in with them.

I didn’t care that my babies were ruining the picture. Heck, in the years since, I’ve decorated our house with all sorts of chaotic and candid photos, because they make me laugh whenever I look at them — they’re way better than posed pictures. I like that my daughters refused to obediently stand still and fake a smile.

I keep that photo so I never forget how different I am now from the background that I was raised in.

About Me

Live Grenade

Autumn

The best marriage advice I’ve ever been given wasn’t intended as such at all.

Actually, I overheard Some Old Guy warning my husband that being married to a woman was like having a live grenade in your pocket.

And I decided that I didn’t want to be the sort of wife who was remembered as the psychotic ex, turning her husband into a 60-year-old MGTOW and alienating her children.

Turns out, the simple resolve to not randomly explode has made me extremely atypical.

About Me

…

Autumn

I’m really glad that I wrote Alice and the Warden.

Since I’m expecting #6, I’ve been ravenously hungry for stories about pregnancy and babies. Heck, I even watched Bridget Jones’s Baby, even though I don’t remotely care for the subgenre.

Unfortunately, the majority of stories love to revolve around the “pregnancy is shameful and/or dangerous!” trope. Either female characters are moaning about how their life is over, or it literally comes close to ending because of some pregnancy related complication.

Aaaand it doesn’t stop there. After the baby is born, there’s the constant complaining about how a helpless human needs someone to care for it — as if being depended on is the worst thing that can happen. “Woe is me! I can’t be selfish all the time anymore!”

It’s so sickening.

Especially because I know women who are like that in real life.

Me? I’m the sort of person that wears jewelry that depicts pregnancy. I firmly believe in honoring the Divine Feminine, and rant about how our Christian-normative society demonizes the most powerful magic women possess: the ability to create new life. Not everyone thinks that the very existence of humanity is something shameful.

While the homebirthing community has plenty of women similar to me, none of them are writing novels. Too many of them have gone off-grid, I guess.

I’ve spent the last several months trying to find decent stories about pregnancy and babies, but now I’ve given up. I’m reading my own novel.

Alice is so sweet and loves her family so much, it’s like a breath of fresh air. Finally, a character who is full of hope and doesn’t hate everything about life.

In a very literal sense, I wrote that novel for myself.

About Me

Green Day

Autumn

Happy St Patricks Day!

I’m skipping the Irish coffee this year, but we’re still making a hearty cabbage stew.

And pinches for anyone not wearing green!

About Me

Pi Day

Autumn

It’s kind of funny, but I was introduced to Pi Day through my calculus class. It was a very nerdy little celebration the teacher put on for us students, but it tickled my fancy to no end. Ever since, I’ve always had pie on Pi Day.

At some point, it became popular. Suddenly everyone was going on about “Pie Day,” including several whom I’m pretty certain had no clue what pi was.

And all I could think was, “You’re ruining it.”

About Me

Fiber of the Month – February

Autumn

Through Paradise Fibers

Bubblegum Surprise and Twirl

My phone picked up wildly different lighting with the pictures, and I’m too lazy to act like a professional photographer and care.

The fun part is, I’m now pregnant enough that there are very few activities that don’t result in something starting to ache. I can only sit at my spinning wheel for so long before my back needs a rest. 🙂

I’m including a link to a video on how to spin the bubblegum surprise roving into self-striping yarn. Personally, I like the blended colors better and adore the “candy cane” effect that you get with spinning multiple colors together, but it’s interesting to see how the same roving can be spun in different ways.

About Me

An arm

Autumn

I was searching for inkle loom designs when this popped up (yeah, I don’t know how the two are supposed to be related either).

It made me laugh, because as a Millennial, I’ve spent my entire adult life joking about how everything costs an arm, a leg, and your firstborn child.

Gosh I wish I could have been so privileged.

About Me

Coffee

Autumn

The religion I grew up in didn’t permit drinking coffee. We were often told about how it caused all sorts of ills, ranging from cancer to stained teeth, and everyone who loved Jesus should faithfully refrain from even thinking about the devil’s drink.

After I officially left that religion, coffee was one of the first things I tried. I’m not going to lie though — that first cup was a major disappointment.

Thankfully I ended up married to a man who knew a thing or two about coffee snobbery, and he taught me to think better than chain coffee stores. I’ll just say that we started roasting our own beans over a year ago, and there’s no going back. 🙂

Sometimes I like to sit with my hands cupped around my favorite mug, and wonder what’s supposed to be so evil about starting every morning with coffee. Of all the horrible wrongs in the world, why make a big deal out of something so harmless?

I like the ritual of brewing a cup for my husband and myself every morning, and topping them off with a dollop of heavy cream. I like taking the time to meditate as I transition into starting the day, to get myself into the mindset of being up and about. I like how it gently motivates me, without the jitters and sugar crash that comes from sodas.

So far, my teeth haven’t developed any staining.

And let’s be honest: there was no hope for me before I ever tasted my first drop of coffee.