Stories, The Scion Suit

Lartmann and Hambert Are Dead

A/N: …I wanted a break from serious writing...

……


Hartmann paced around the empty room, occasionally flipping a coin and studying it, before continuing on his circuit. Lambert, on the other hand, sat still in the middle of the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

โ€œDo you โ€ฆโ€ he began, then hesitated.

โ€œGet sick of all these tails?โ€ Hartmann suggested. โ€œCan’t say I do.โ€

Lambert gave him a flat look. โ€œI thought you were getting heads.โ€

โ€œNot from you,โ€ Hartmann muttered in reply.

โ€œWhat I meant to say was that it seems like we’re stuck in a featureless void.โ€

โ€œLooks more like a room to me.โ€

โ€œDo you see any doors or windows?โ€

โ€œNo. But there are distinct planes and vertices.โ€

Lambert rolled his eyes. โ€œAlright then, a featureless cube.โ€

โ€œClearly, the answer is that when we were told we were going to be integrated into a biomechanical alien species, we were lied to. Either this room is some sort of alien prison, or we’re dead,โ€ Hartmann replied.

โ€œYes. That makes sense,โ€ Lambert mused. โ€œBut why do you have that coin?โ€

โ€œIt was in my pocket.โ€

โ€œAnd why does it only ever come up heads?โ€

โ€œAlien space magic. Why else?โ€ Hartmann answered.

โ€œDo you ever think that you and I are ultimately interchangeable?โ€

โ€œWe’re the variables. You represent the noble side of humanity, while I’m the cavalier aspect. Lawful good versus chaotic neutral.โ€

โ€œWhatever.โ€

โ€œYou wanted to talk about it,โ€ Hartmann muttered.

โ€œSometimes we might as well be the same person,โ€ Hambert said darkly.

โ€œThere could be some truth to that,โ€ Lartmann replied. โ€œOur identities are already intermixing.

โ€œI liked who I was,โ€ Harbert said sulkily.

โ€œHow do you think I feel? You are a comparatively boring person,โ€ Lamtmann pouted.

โ€œDamn alien technology,โ€ Hartert grumbled.

โ€œTell me about it,โ€ Lambmann agreed.

โ€œFading โ€ฆโ€ Hartmet gasped.

โ€œNo โ€ฆโ€ Lambeann sobbed.

And together, they merged into Lartbertmann โ€“ half man, half another man.

~Fin