A/N: …I wanted a break from serious writing...
……
Hartmann paced around the empty room, occasionally flipping a coin and studying it, before continuing on his circuit. Lambert, on the other hand, sat still in the middle of the floor, staring up at the ceiling.
โDo you โฆโ he began, then hesitated.
โGet sick of all these tails?โ Hartmann suggested. โCan’t say I do.โ
Lambert gave him a flat look. โI thought you were getting heads.โ
โNot from you,โ Hartmann muttered in reply.
โWhat I meant to say was that it seems like we’re stuck in a featureless void.โ
โLooks more like a room to me.โ
โDo you see any doors or windows?โ
โNo. But there are distinct planes and vertices.โ
Lambert rolled his eyes. โAlright then, a featureless cube.โ
โClearly, the answer is that when we were told we were going to be integrated into a biomechanical alien species, we were lied to. Either this room is some sort of alien prison, or we’re dead,โ Hartmann replied.
โYes. That makes sense,โ Lambert mused. โBut why do you have that coin?โ
โIt was in my pocket.โ
โAnd why does it only ever come up heads?โ
โAlien space magic. Why else?โ Hartmann answered.
โDo you ever think that you and I are ultimately interchangeable?โ
โWe’re the variables. You represent the noble side of humanity, while I’m the cavalier aspect. Lawful good versus chaotic neutral.โ
โWhatever.โ
โYou wanted to talk about it,โ Hartmann muttered.
โSometimes we might as well be the same person,โ Hambert said darkly.
โThere could be some truth to that,โ Lartmann replied. โOur identities are already intermixing.
โI liked who I was,โ Harbert said sulkily.
โHow do you think I feel? You are a comparatively boring person,โ Lamtmann pouted.
โDamn alien technology,โ Hartert grumbled.
โTell me about it,โ Lambmann agreed.
โFading โฆโ Hartmet gasped.
โNo โฆโ Lambeann sobbed.
And together, they merged into Lartbertmann โ half man, half another man.
~Fin

