Tag: romance

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Bad Advice

Autumn

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Now that I’ve inflicted this incredibly long image on you . . .

NEVER EVER FOLLOW WRITING ADVICE FROM THE INTERNET

Yes, I really did just post that image then tell you not to follow it. However, despite all of my rampant egotism, I am aware that my own philosophy is recursive, so go ahead and ignore me.

Anyway . . .

It’s your story, and chances are that if you’re writing romance, it’s your fantasy as well. Don’t turn it into a formula.

Personally, I can’t stand slow burn “we’re just friends” relationships — I have quit quite a few novels and TV series over it. In real life, my husband and I eloped quickly after meeting, skipped the typical dating thing all together, and have a better marriage than anyone I know. That’s what I know and what I like — slow burn always comes across as contrived and indecisive.

I also hate “on again, off again,” relationships, and quit reading/watching over them as well because it’s unnecessary drama. I like it when characters stay together against every odd.

Essentially, if I followed this list I would wind up with a story that I loathed.

It’s far better to write what you love, especially when it comes to love.

Fade to White

Fade to White chapter 16

Autumn

Fade to White

Chapter Sixteen

“Commander and King,” Jerek said, turning around to face him and taking an almost defensive pose. “I was just on my way to see you.”

“Yes, perhaps you were. It seems however, that you were delayed. Are there any announcements the two of you would like to make?”

“None whatsoever.”

“Very well then. Jerek, would you be so kind as to tell me where you have been for these past few days?”

“I was in Amber.”

“And what were you doing in Amber?”

“Scouting it out.” Jerek’s eyes were cold and emotionless, refusing to let Nosaj glean any information from them as they stared at each other.

“You took so long to just scout it out?”

“Yes.”

“Ah Jerek,” Nosaj sighed, “I almost wish you excuse was more elaborate. You realize you went directly against my wishes.”

“I realize.”

“And you will be punished for it.”

“Of course.”

“No!” Ramo called out, coming around Jerek to stand between him and Nosaj. “You don’t need to punish Jerek!”

“Hold your place Ramo. It’s no concern of yours.”

Jerek placed a hand on Ramo’s shoulder. “It’s okay Ramo. You don’t need to defend me.”

“But you aren’t even defending yourself! How can I just sit by and let something bad happen to you? So what if you made a mistake, you’re here now and the mission was completed anyway!”

“Ramo, don’t worry about it. I’m not going to die.” Jerek smiled, softly tapping his fist against the top of Ramo’s head. “Quit acting so stupid.”

“Unless the two of you decide to come out together, I suggest you stop it with the cutesy love scenes.” Nosaj pulled his upper lip back in disgust. “Come with me.”

Jerek was unable to keep his face from heating up, and he mouthed a couple inappropriate words at Nosaj’s back, which Ramo saw and nervously giggled at despite his fearful expression. Nosaj looked over his shoulder and glared at the two of them, then continued leading the way down the corridors and stairways, into the dungeon.

“You will receive five lashes for your actions, understand? And let’s hope you never do anything like this ever again, or your punishment will be more severe.” Nosaj stopped in front of a dark wooden door with a barred window cut out near the top. Pushing it open, a soldier jumped to attention as they entered the room. “Shackle him,” Nosaj ordered.

“Jerek, fight this!” Ramo whispered, catching hold of Jerek’s sleeve.

Jerek smiled and pulled Ramo’s hand away, then put his own hands out for the soldier to fasten the metal bands around.

Furious, Nosaj stepped forward and backhanded Jerek across the side of his face, then stabbing his finger into Jerek’s chest, he snarled, “Quit acting like a bloody martyr! You’re not going to die, and no one gives a damn about what happens to you anyway. Do you get that?”

“Am I supposed to be fighting?” Jerek jeered. “Why? So I can give you the satisfaction of ruling over me? I don’t think so.”

Nostrils flaring, Nosaj hit Jerek again, this time cutting Jerek’s lip so that a small trickle of blood appeared. “Shut the hell up! Give him ten lashings, and by God make sure they hurt!” Spinning around, Nosaj stomped out of the room, but before he closed the door he turned and looked at Ramo. “Come with me Ramo. You shouldn’t watch your precious Jerek be reduced to a crying bloody heap. I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to see that.”

“No, I want to . . .”

“GET OVER HERE!”

Hopping slightly, Ramo scurried out the door and Nosaj slammed it shut.

“You heard him.” The soldier chuckled, taking the chain attached to Jerek’s shackles and pulling it through a loop high up on the stone wall to extend Jerek’s arms above his head, then fastened the chain in place. “Just because you’re the heir, doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you.”

“You realize that once I take control, you are dead.”

“No one lives forever.” Picking up the whip, the soldier pulled it tight in both hands, then letting go with one hand sung it back and forward, lashing Jerek’s back, cutting both cloth and skin. Jerek grunted, clenching his fists so tightly his knuckles shined white as the next stinging blow hit him.

Walking back up the stairs behind Nosaj, Ramo looked backwards with a worried expression, biting his lower lip.

“Ramo.”

Ramo’s head swung forward. “Yes Commander?”

“I want you to follow Jerek everywhere he goes from now on. Especially when he leaves the castle.”

“Commander . . .”

“Never let him out of your sight, and when you find out where he’s been going, come back and report to me.”

“But Commander, that would mean . . .”

Taking Ramo’s chin in his hand, Nosaj tilted his head up to look at his eyes. “Do you love Jerek?”

“Yes, but . . .”

“Would you do anything for him?”

“Anything.”

“Then you’ll do this for me. I have a feeling that our dear little Jerek is drifting farther and farther away from us, and we need to bring him back before it’s too late.”

“You won’t hurt Jerek if I do find something out?”

“Heh, no.” Nosaj’s lips curled in amusement. “I’ve invested too much time into him. He’s the only one who can take over for me.”

“Then . . .” Ramo bit his lip, looking down hesitantly for a moment, before returning his gaze to Nosaj with determination. “I’ll follow him. For his sake.”

“Good boy.” Nosaj patted the top of Ramo’s head. “Make sure you don’t let him know about this. It could turn out badly if you did.”

When they reached the top, Nosaj turned and strode away, leaving Ramo to stare down at the bottom of the steps as he waited.

An hour later Jerek made his way up the same stairs, hunched over with his hand against the wall, slowly taking each step. His shirt had been discarded since the back had been sliced open, it had become a nuisance to continue wearing it. Red covered his skin, some of it running down and soaking into the top of his pants while other areas of his blood were dark and dry.

He wasn’t even going to bother returning to his room. He only wanted one thing, and he wasn’t going to waste the time and effort on actions that would only delay him from achieving it. The cuts that laced his back still stung, throbbing each time his heart beat and burning with the hatred he felt inside. He no longer wanted to passively disappear, never to be seen or heard of again. He wanted revenge. But first, he was returning to the one he loved.

Tired and sore, he slowly staggered his way out of the castle and into the stable where he mounted his horse without the saddle, and riding bareback trotted off into the dark forest, leaning forward with his head down, barely noticing the scenery that passed by around him.

Trembling, Ramo saddled and mounted a brown mare then awkwardly steered after Jerek, keeping as far away from him as he dared but still keeping an eye on him. The idea of spying on Jerek still sickened him, but Jerek’s quick departure reinforced in his mind how necessary it was.

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Fade to White

Fade to White chapter 15

Autumn

Fade to White

Chapter Fifteen

“Where have you been?” Ramo called out, running to Jerek with an anxious expression on his face.

Jerek paused, but he avoided looking directly at Ramo, instead staring down to the side. Finally, after considering for a second what he should say, Jerek replied, “Womanizing.” As Ramo stood stunned, Jerek continued on, going into his bedroom and slamming the door shut, locking it as well. He instantly dropped down to his knees and pulled out a cigaret, lighting it and sucking on it hard. Sitting at the window, he stared outside without really seeing anything, a heavy and painful feeling lodged into the center of his chest. His dream was over. The magic of the new life he had tried to build was dashed by the reality of whom he was. More than anything, he mourned the fact that she had cried because of him.

Putting his hand up against the window sill, Jerek leaned his forehead against it and closed his eyes. The pain was too much as it spread from his chest to the back of his throat, where it formed into a ball that threatened to choke him if he didn’t let it out. A sound managed to escape, jolting his entire body as it did. Jerek pressed himself tighter against his hand, his fingers digging at the stone and his eyes squeezing shut, but that didn’t stop the single droplet from hitting the bottom of the window sill, or the one that followed it.

“Jerek!” Ramo called, first trying the doorknob then banging his fist on the door. “Let me in Jerek! We need to talk!”

Jerek jumped up, quickly gulping down the knot in the back of his throat and wiping his eyes. “What do you want?” he called out, but immediately regretted it because of the shakiness in his voice. It was obvious that Ramo had noticed it because there was a stronger sense of urgency when he replied,

“I need you to let me in!”

This was no good. Ramo was perceptive enough to realize that something was wrong with him, and stubborn enough not to leave him alone until he knew why. Sometimes Ramo was too feminine for Jerek’s liking. Opening the door, Jerek stood and looked at Ramo as he silently stared back at him. Jerek knew his eyes were probably red and tired looking, but he firmly set his mouth against portraying any emotion.

“What happened?” Ramo asked timidly.

“Nothing.” Jerek retreated back into his bedroom, leaving the door open for Ramo to follow.

“So you’re just having a little PMS?”

Jerek whirled around, punching the wall in a sudden fit of anger, yelling as he did so, “I told you nothing happened!”

Ramo pulled his lip back, slightly biting it. “Maybe this really is PMS.”

“Stop it.”

“I’m sorry.” Looking down at the floor, Ramo seemed on the verge of crying himself. “Something bad happened to you, and here I am making fun of you. I shouldn’t be so mean to you. You don’t deserve it.”

Jerek’s mood switched again, and he himself wondered about his hormonal balance as he felt the urge to laugh. “I deserve every form of cruelty I get, and even more.”

“No, you don’t!”

“Yes I do.”

There was a pause for a moment, and when Ramo realized that Jerek had no intention of elaborating, he asked, “What did you mean when you said that you had been womanizing?”

“Nothing.” Finding an excuse, Jerek added, “I just wanted to throw you off.”

Even in the current circumstance, Ramo couldn’t stop his smile of relief. “Then what have you been doing?”

“Hanging out in Amber, mostly.”

“Are you upset because the Commander sent the troops out without you? You must understand that you had simply disappeared for a few days and that no one knew where you were. The Commander was furious, and then he finally sent the soldiers out.” A sudden realization seemed to hit Ramo, and he looked up at Jerek with large eyes. “What are you going to do about the Commander? He’s going to skin you alive!”

“I can take care of myself. It doesn’t matter.”

“No, it does matter! Nosaj was livid! He said that he was going to punish you severely for just abandoning him like that. Jerek, you’re going to get whipped!”

“Then so be it.” Jerek shrugged. “So what if I get whipped? It doesn’t really matter anyway.”

“Yes it does.” Testing, Ramo put his hand against Jerek’s chest, and when Jerek didn’t react he proceeded to lay his head against him as well. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Gulping down the urge to cry, Jerek reached up and uncertain with himself touched Ramo’s shoulder, causing Ramo to look up at him with surprise. “There are some things that we don’t have any control over.”

“No, don’t say that.” Clutching Jerek’s shirt, Ramo shook his head as sparkling tears appeared in the corners of his eyes. “There is always something we can do! Don’t give up! I don’t want you to be beaten, so please help me to help you avoid that punishment!”

“You’re so girly.” Prying Ramo’s hands away, Jerek smirked. “If I’m in the mood, then maybe I’ll try something. You really shouldn’t get all emotional and desperate like that. It’s not masculine. I’m tempted to think that you’re really a girl who disguised herself as a man. That would be shameful.”

“I am not! I’m a man! I just happen to be a little more in touch with my emotions than you do, and that’s all there is to it. I bet that you feel every single emotion that I do. You just keep it bottled up.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Though, inside Jerek couldn’t help but admit that Ramo was right. At that very moment his heart was back at the cottage, and his desire to be with and protect Tryne was as strong as it had ever been. “So you think it’s important to follow your emotions?”

“Yes. Especially when the emotion is strong, because holding it back will only damage you on the inside.”

“Hmm,” Jerek grunted. “Where is Nosaj?”

“In the Throne Room. Why?”

“Might as well get this over and done with now.”

“You’re crazy!” Ramo called after him as Jerek walked steadily down the hallway toward the Throne Room. Often, he had gone to that room to report news on various activities, but never before had he been in trouble like this. Although on the outside he seemed confident, inside he was scared. There was a part of him now that never wanted to see Nosaj again, a part of him that hated Nosaj with everything he had, the part that blamed Nosaj for all the misery he had ever experienced in his life.

“Wait!” Ramo yelled, and Jerek did stop, turning around while Ramo ran to catch up to him. “I’m going with you.”

“If you don’t want to see me get hurt, I suggest you stay here.”

“You won’t get hurt. I won’t let you.”

“Then if you don’t want to see me hurt Nosaj, stay here.”

“Huh?” Ramo frowned, confused.

“Haven’t you ever really thought about it? What happened to your sister, how my parents died, what if those things didn’t really occur how we were told they did?”

“I don’t understand.”

Jerek sighed, putting his hand on his forehead as he turned around and started walking again. “If Nosaj is such a benevolent ruler, then why do so many people hate him? Commoners don’t seem to be stupid and rebellious at all.”

“We were attacked by a mob.” Ramo’s voice was dark, his head pointed down as he spoke. “A band of peasants who knew about my father’s position with the Commander came in the middle of the night and burned our house down. They dragged my older sister out by her hair, tore and shredded her clothes, then raped her so brutally she died. All while I watched!” Ramo looked up, tears streaming from his eyes. “The louder she screamed, the harder they laughed! It was Nosaj who . . . it was him who took me in and gave me a new home to live in, and he gave me the best friend that I’ve ever had. I can’t believe that Nosaj is wrong! His methods may be harsh, his morals may be dead, but that doesn’t make him a liar! People hate him because he rules them, because they’ll always hate someone more powerful than they are!”

“Ramo . . .”

“It was Nosaj who took you in too! He gave you your position. He made you his heir! He saved you from those same peasants that attacked my family! They knew about you, they knew that . . .”

“That’s enough!” Jerek yelled, cutting Ramo off. Quieter, he added, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things. It’s just that . . .”

Ramo didn’t say anything in reply, continuing to look at Jerek with tears in his eyes. Hesitantly, Jerek stepped forward and put one arm around Ramo, pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry, I don’t want you mad at me too,” he whispered.

“Jerek, I . . .”

“Touching.” Nosaj’s voice was cold and menacing, an exact reflection of his eyes while he stood watching Jerek and Ramo.

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Fade to White Chapter 14

Autumn

Fade to White

Chapter Fourteen

“Are we leaving now?”

Tryne stopped and straightened up so fast she nearly bent herself over backwards. “I forgot to mention that to Ken.”

“So we’re going to have to wait until you remember to tell him that you’re going away and never coming back?” Jerek asked sarcastically, lying on his bed with his elbow propping him up.

“No, I think I’ll just leave him a note or something.” Tryne sighed, slopping some of the jam she was spreading onto a slice of bread. “Is there anything else you would like to eat?”

“I’m fine. When do you think you’ll be ready to leave?”

“I don’t know, really.” Tryne laughed slightly. “I have to pack, clean some more, and make sure that everything is all set before I’d feel comfortable leaving, and don’t you dare make fun of me!”

Jerek growled. “I’ll be outside.”

After all of the events that had transpired over the last couple of days, his white shirt was stained almost black, to the point where he doubted he could ever get it clean again, and it left him with a grimy feeling. Walking a way with a bucket full of water, Jerek sat down on the grass with the sun hitting his back, and as he took off his shirt he realized that he had forgotten to grab another one to wear. Because he was already feeling comfortably settled, he decided that it didn’t matter much. Dumping the shirt into the bucket, Jerek reached in and began swirling it around.

He knew that he sounded suspicious with how much he was urging Tryne to leave, and perhaps that was why she kept delaying. Jerek couldn’t help himself though. Every moment longer that Tryne stayed, the more he worried about her safety. Nosaj knew about the place and his soldiers had obviously been there already. They could be back at any moment, and they would recognize Jerek, exposing who he was. Then Tryne would be killed, or worse . . . Jerek winced, feeling sick at the thought of Nosaj brushing his boney fingers against her smooth face, or clamping his thin yellow lips over her soft pink mouth. Leaving was the only way he could protect her from Nosaj. Keeping Tryne safe and happy was all he cared about, seeing her smile was all he lived for . . .

Jerek stopped that train of thoughts. He was getting too sappy. Suddenly, he realized that he had been doing it all wrong. Instead of waiting for Tryne to decide she was ready to leave, he should have swept her up onto his horse and ridden off with her. Eventually she would go along with it, and even thank him for stopping her from wasting valuable time, though she was probably going to be angry at him at first for doing something like that. Maybe that was what he should do, put down his washing and burst into the cottage, picking Tryne up and throwing her over his shoulder, then carry her to his horse. Jerek almost laughed at the thought.

A soft thud sounded faintly behind him, and Jerek looked over his shoulder to see Tryne, a cloth bundle at her feet and a strange, alarming expression on her face. Slowly Jerek stood up to face her, wondering what it was that caused her to react like that. In a flash he remembered, and the black rose tattoo burned into the back of his shoulder, shamefully marking him for what he really was. She had seen it.

“Tryne, I . . .”

“You work for him.”

“Tryne . . .”

“You lied to me! You said you had nothing to do with him!”

“Listen to me!” Jerek shouted, getting angry at the fact that she didn’t seem to hear him at all.

“You really are evil!”

“I never said that I wasn’t,” Jerek retorted.

“I can’t believe you’ve been working for him all this time.”

“Yeah, I have been. And you know what? I’m Nosaj’s heir. I’m the future ruler of this God-awful land. I’m his right-hand man.”

Tryne stood stunned, then shook her head. “I’m so stupid! Ken even told me I couldn’t trust you, but I didn’t listen because I . . . How could you be so manipulative?”

“I didn’t manipulate you into anything. Everything you did, you did on your own,” Jerek answered coldly. “And that was stupid of you.”

“Get out! Get away from me!” Tryne screamed, droplets forming in her eyes. “I never want to see you again!”

A pang went through Jerek’s heart, and he found himself lost for a second, unsure of how he should act, fighting against the desire to hold her. “Tryne, I . . .”

“Leave now.” She squeezed her eyes shut, turning her head away.

Silently Jerek moved past her, walking to the cottage and hastily grabbing his things, first putting on a new shirt to cover up the offending tattoo that he now loathed more than anything else in the world. Tryne was standing outside when he left, going inside and slamming the door shut as soon as he was out. Getting up on his horse, Jerek kicked its sides hard and the horse bolted forward.

Inside the cottage in the dim light that came through the window, Tryne knelt down at the side of her bed, and clasping her hands together she began to cry. In her heart she was still attached to him, she still loved him deeply, and she knew that it was wrong for her to feel that way.

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Fade to White chapter 13

Autumn

Fade to White

Chapter Thirteen

Morning light spilled into the room and onto the unpleasant task that Jerek stood looking down on, the task that only he could do. Tryne was outside far away from the cottage door, and he had gotten her solid promise that she wouldn’t try to come inside. It smelled atrocious, of burnt flesh and hair, stale and overwhelming. Jerek hesitated, holding the burlap sack in his hands as he blanched slightly. The detached head looked up at him, its eyes more like melted gobs that ran down its cheeks and into its blackened lips. Crimson and black splotches were all that was left of the skin, and a few strands of red hair came from the skull. Slowly Jerek bent down and placed the bag next to the head, feeling even more sick as he got closer to it. Pushing it slightly with the toe of his boot, it stuck to his foot and jumped slightly when Jerek quickly pulled his foot away, turning and rolling along the wooden floor.

Jerek’s head went fuzzy and he became extremely aware of the nauseating smell that choked his nose and mouth. He lurched, fumbling to get outside, tasting the vomit in his mouth before it came up. Hunched over with his face in the grass just by the cottage, Jerek breathed heavily, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Are you all right?” Tryne called from where she was standing, pushing her shovel into the dirt and taking a few steps toward him.

“I’m fine!” he shouted back, standing up. The outside air was already clearing his head, and although he felt weaker he also felt like he could accomplish anything he needed to do.

“I think I could help you, instead of just standing out here doing nothing.”

Jerek didn’t even respond, turning his back and walking inside again. She wasn’t going to dirty her hands with this kind of work, not if he could protect her from it. Quickly, without thinking, Jerek held open the sack and kicked the head into it, immediately carrying it outside and dumping it into the hole that Tryne had dug. Both of them stood staring at it for a full minute, before Jerek started taking a few steps away.

“I’ll leave you to say goodbye . . .”

“No, wait.” Tryne grabbed the shovel and began piling dirt into the hole. “We weren’t even supposed to have anything to bury. I’ve already said my goodbyes to her.” Dropping the shovel haphazardly, Tryne flung herself at Jerek’s back, wrapping her arms around him.

Touching one of Tryne’s hands, Jerek lowered his head and softly said, “I’ll stay then.”

Tryne didn’t answer, crying quietly into the back of Jerek’s shirt.

“Run away with me,” Jerek said after a moment.

There was a pause before Tryne’s voice came quietly, “I’ve always wanted to see the Ruby Village.”

“No, outside of the Twelve Villages, far away.”

“I’m not even sure if a world does exist outside of the Twelve Villages.”

“Apparently Nosaj has a stronger grip on you than you thought.”

“Shut up! Nosaj doesn’t have any hold on me.”

“What were you saying just now?”

“Nothing” Tryne pushed Jerek away from her. “Go heat up some water to help me clean up.”

“I thought you intended to leave with me.”

“Not until after I make contact with Ken. I just can’t pick up and leave without telling him. That would be irresponsible.”

“Running away in and of itself is irresponsible.”

Pausing, Tryne sighed. “Okay, so maybe it’s not about responsibility, but I still want to tell Ken goodbye.”

“It’s unsafe for us to stay here.”

“I have confidence that you can protect me. Go on now, get the water and put it on the stove. I’ll light the fire and get the scrub brushes.” Stepping inside the cottage, Tryne wrinkled her nose. “Whew, it stinks in here. I would’ve thrown up too.”

“Don’t remind me,” Jerek grumbled.

“Are you embarrassed by it?”

“Shut up.” Jerek disappeared, coming back a few minutes later with a bucket full of water, which he poured into the kettle sitting on the cast iron stove. “Do you think we can get the smell out?”

“I don’t know, it’s worse than I ever imagined. I’m sure if we keep the window and door open for several days, and maybe steam up the room, the smell will die down.” Tryne laughed. “Or we’ll just get used to the smell and not notice it anymore.”

Jerek shook his head. “You’re a strange girl. I can’t understand why anyone would want to get used to a horrible smell.” Putting his arm to his forehead, Jerek leaned against the wall near the stove, looking down into the water in the kettle. “How hot are we getting the water?”

“I want it to at least start boiling.” Tryne paused and placed a finger against her lips, also looking at the water. “We have some time to wait.”

“You mean to say we’re going to use scalding hot water to wash your floor with? I don’t know if I want any part of this.”

“Of course you do. You may want to pull off your shoes and roll up your pants and sleeves though.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s more fun that way.”

“Hold on one second.” Kneeling down on the ground next to his bed, Jerek pulled out his sword and clothes from underneath and carefully laid them on top. “Just in case you get carried away.”

“If I get carried away, it won’t matter where you put your things. Don’t worry though, I’ll restrain myself.” Laughing, Tryne wrapped her arms around herself as if she was holding herself back.

Sitting down on the bed, Jerek narrowed his eyes at Tryne. “Are you taking your shoes off too?”

“Yes. Like I said, it’s more fun that way.” Bending over, Tryne pulled off her shoes and socks one by one, also bundling up the bottom of her skirt, tying it in a knot and exposing her legs. Keeping his eyes fixed on her, Jerek unlaced his boots, showing his bare feet as well. Tryne smiled coyly, dancing a little bit as she moved over to the stove. “Water’s ready!” she called, taking rags and using them to protect her hands as she pulled the kettle off the stove. “Watch your feet!” Then, splashing water all over, Tryne poured the contents onto the floor, steam filling the air. Picking up two scrub brushes, she tossed one to Jerek, then got down on her hands and knees.

“I’m not too sure about this,” Jerek said, watching her distrustfully.

“Come on, you’ll be fine. Besides, I think some hard work will do you some good.”

Cautiously, Jerek put one foot on the wet floor, then got down and began scrubbing. The first area he went over was where the head and been, and he soon found that if he quickly pushed the brush through a puddle that water would spray forward, traveling quite a distance. Looking over his shoulder, Jerek saw that Tryne was facing toward him with her head down, intent on cleaning. Twisting slightly, Jerek put his brush down and shoved it through a puddle.

Tryne yelped and fell back, completely caught off guard as the water went over her. Glaring at Jerek, who was smirking, Tryne took her brush and threw it at him, but Jerek dodged it, then slowly began crawling toward her. Tryne tried to move backwards, but she slipped and fell down, and with triumph Jerek planted his hands on either side of her head, leaning over her. Their eyes met, and Jerek moved one of his hands to brush a few strands of Tryne’s hair out of her face, her eyes closing at his touch. Leaning down, he kissed her lips softly and tenderly, then sitting back he pulled her up and kissed her again.

Putting her arms around Jerek’s waist, Tryne rested her head against his chest and murmured, “So this is for real. I was afraid last night was a one time thing.” Pausing, Tryne asked, “Why did you suddenly pull away?”

“I was afraid,” Jerek grunted.

“Afraid of what?”

“I’ve never felt this way before.” Jerek hesitated. Should he tell her the truth? He considered opening up, spilling out his heart to her and confessing who he really was. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were in love, they would be enemies. If she knew who he was, they would be enemies. He couldn’t tell her the truth, and it didn’t matter anyway because soon they would leave all of this behind them. It wasn’t necessary for her to know, it was a secret he was going to keep locked up inside him forever.

A shadow darkened the doorway and Jerek convulsively tightened his arms around Tryne. That was the only thing that stopped her from quickly pushing away and standing up. There was almost a guilty air around her as she stood facing Ken, clutching her hands together, not daring to make a move. It was Ken who spoke first, his voice dark, “Tryne, we need to talk, alone.”

“Yes, of course.” Tryne forced a nervous laugh. “Jerek, could you please finish cleaning the floor?”

He didn’t answer, simply watching as Tryne and Ken left, closing the door behind them. Then slowly Jerek picked up a scrub brush and began pushing it back and forth across the floor.

“Tryne, what the heck are you doing?” Ken said, fuming when they stopped a distance away from the cottage.

“What are you doing? I could’ve sworn you said . . .”

“I know what I said! This is what I’m saying now, and it would be in your best interest to listen to me. Don’t trust that guy! You should kick him out then disappear so he can’t find you, or better yet let me take care of him!” Ken suddenly stopped, then pleadingly added, “Please listen to me on this one.”

“Why are you saying this? What reasons are there on why I shouldn’t trust him?” Tryne asked, defiantly placing her hands on her hips.

“Because the orphans we recently took in said that a man with white hair took their big sister away, and in exchange let them all live. How many men with white hair do you think there are?”

“No, Jerek would never do anything like that!” Tryne shook her head.

“How well do you really know him? I tell you that he’s working for Nosaj!”

“You’re lying!” Tryne burst out.

“I would never lie!” Ken wrinkled his brow, his eyes looking hurt. “I care about you too much.”

“Ken, please.”

“Our village was attacked yesterday . . .”

“I know.”

“. . . but they didn’t kill that very many people. It seems that they were just rounding people up to transport to Opal. Apparently Nosaj wants to split our forces so we’ll fall apart. He knows about our group, he knows it’s organized and that our town has some of the most active members. Any moment now they’ll be attacking your home as well.”

“They already have,” Tryne answered to be snarky, then suddenly stopped. They knew about her mother and where she lived.

“What did you just say?” Ken’s eyes widened in alarm. “They attacked your cottage? Where were you? What happened?”

“I wasn’t there.” Tryne faltered. “I was down by the stream. It could have been anyone, because the place wasn’t destroyed, just ransacked. I highly doubt anyone did it on Nosaj’s orders.”

Ken looked at her strangely for a second, then grabbed her wrist and started pulling her. “C’mon, we’re leaving right now.”

“No Ken!” Tryne tried to pull away. “Let go of me, I’m not going anywhere!”

“We don’t have time to waste, we’re in danger . . .” Ken didn’t finish his sentence, looking stunned and touching his face where Tryne had slapped him.

“I’m staying here, and I’ll be perfectly safe!” Tryne shouted, turning around and running. When she reached her cottage, she flung open the door then slammed it shut behind her. “If Ken tries to come in, grab your sword and stop him,” she ordered to Jerek who was sitting on his knees in a mild and curious confusion that was only enhanced by her words.

“What happened?”

Tryne breathed deeply, then threw her arms around Jerek’s neck. “You’re not evil, are you?”

Jerek didn’t know how to answer. Instead he returned Tryne’s embrace, holding her tightly against him.

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FadetoWhite

Fade to White

Fade to White chapter 12

Autumn

FadetoWhite

Fade to White

Chapter Twelve

Night had fallen before Jerek finally felt safe enough to leave the mausoleum, and after spending so much time in the graveyard he doubted all the stories he had heard. However, Tryne still kept moving her head around quickly, clinging tightly to Jerek’s arm as they walked. The horse was still there, eating the sparse leaves off the tree. Helping Tryne up first, Jerek mounted behind her, taking the reigns and urging the horse back toward the village.

“None of the buildings were destroyed,” Tryne murmured. “I wonder why.”

“I don’t think that Nosaj meant to destroy the town.”

“Head back to my house, that’s where Ken will be contacting me with any information he has.” Tryne cracked a grin. “I know you were going to suggest that we go somewhere else.”

“I can’t fight you. The only way you’ll ever leave is if your entire farm is destroyed and turned into a camping ground for Nosaj’s troops.”

“Hey, you really are learning.”

“All I had to do was figure out how stubbornly stupid you are.”

Tryne elbowed Jerek in the stomach, causing him to grunt. “You are so mean sometimes.”

“At least I’m not half as violent as you are.”

A pause. “I guess you’re right.” Tryne continued thinking as they entered the forest. “I still feel tired, even though all I’ve done is sleep. How about you?”

“I feel fine. You can sleep on the way home if you want.”

“I appreciate the thought, but there is no way I’m going to get any rest on top of a horse.”

“Especially if you keep falling off.”

“Huh?”

Pushing on Tryne’s shoulder, Jerek laughed as she yelped and scrambled to grab hold of the saddle horn, slowly sliding more and more to the side. “You make a terrible rider.”

Glaring, Tryne looked over her shoulder at Jerek and let go, hitting the dirt with a thud. Alarmed, Jerek stopped his horse and dismounted. “Are you okay?”

“That hurt more than I thought it would,” Tryne said as Jerek grabbed her hand and helped her stand. Dusting off her skirt, Tryne tilted her head up to look down her nose at Jerek. “I hope you learned your lesson.”

“Not really,” Jerek answered, laughing. “That was pretty fun.”

“You have no idea how to treat a lady, do you?”

“I haven’t ever met one.”

“You are the biggest jerk I have ever met.”

“That’s all right. I don’t mind.” Lifting Tryne onto the horse again, Jerek mounted in front of her. “You still seem to like me.”

“I’m an idiot for that.”

“Yes you are.”

Making a move to hit Jerek, Tryne stopped herself before landing the blow. Instead, she placed her arms against Jerek’s back and rested her forehead against her hands. “Oh Jerek, why do we keep hurting each other?”

“Because we’re both malicious and cruel?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t know.”

Tryne started laughing so hard she almost fell again, preventing herself from doing so by grabbing Jerek around the middle. “Let’s go faster!” she called out. “Let’s gallop!”

Urging his horse to speed up, Jerek quickly complied.

They had been trotting for a while before they reached Tryne’s cottage, and when they came into sight of it they slowed down even more. Sliding off the horse and landing lightly on her feet, Tryne stood still, staring at the building.

“The door is open,” she whispered, slowly stepping forward.

Suddenly Jerek took off on the horse, rushing past Tryne. Before the horse even stopped he flung himself down, and stumbling slightly pushed the door completely open, looking in. His eyes couldn’t penetrate the darkness, but his other senses told him that there was something severely wrong inside. Overcome, he shivered, backing away.

“What’s wrong?” Tryne asked, looking around.

“I don’t know.” Jerek paused. “We need light.”

“We have a lantern hanging on the side of the house, if you have a match to light it with.”

Feeling in his pocket for the small box of matches he always kept, Jerek then went to retrieve the lamp. Lighting it, he held the lantern out in front of him and slowly walked toward the cottage, his feet almost dragging as he was filled with the deepest sense of dread. Jerek hesitated, but Tryne pressed against his back.

Slowly the circle of light moved forward, reaching the open doorway and spilling inside, until it eventually filled a good portion of the cottage. As soon as his gaze settled on what was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, Jerek immediately turned around and pushed Tryne away, but she had already seen. Shrieking, she put her hands up to her ears, closing her eyes as the tears flowed down her cheeks. Jerek tried to wrap her in an embrace, but she pushed away, screaming and crying, “Oh my God! My mom!” hysterically.

“Tryne!” Jerek shouted at her, forcefully grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her, but she didn’t respond to him, instead fighting to break free. Putting his arms around her, Jerek squeezed her so tightly he almost expected to hear her bones crack. Unable to move, Tryne’s body collapsed and she stopped screaming, sinking to the ground and sobbing heavily in Jerek’s arms. Loosening his grip, Jerek rubbed and patted her back, trying to whisper soothingly to her but only coming up with the words, “It’s all right.” It seemed to work, because Tryne’s sobs subsided until they were both sitting silently.

Standing up, Jerek picked up the lantern and walked into the cottage, then a moment later he came back out, a bundle of blankets in his arms. Grabbing Tryne’s hand and pulling her to her feet, he began leading her to the woods.

“Where are we going?” Tryne asked with a strained voice.

“We’re sleeping under the stars tonight.” Jerek glanced sideways at her, smiling slightly. “And we need to get away from your house.”

“How could they . . . do that?”

Clutching Tryne’s hand tightly, Jerek replied, “I don’t know.”

“It was Nosaj . . . he knows.”

“It seems that way.”

“But how?”

“Sh. Let’s not worry about it tonight.” Jerek stopped, looking around and toeing the grass with his boot. “I think here is a good spot.” Throwing a blanket at Tryne, he advised, “You’ll want to fold it in half and sleep in between.”

Tryne pulled the blanket off her face, and laughing slightly said, “I know.” Becoming serious again, she dropped the blanket on the ground and stepped closer to Jerek. “I don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve been a major help, and it really means a lot to me that you care. I mean, you saved my life after all, and you’re always there for me.” Tryne stopped, looking briefly down then back up to Jerek, her eyes shining. “Thank you,” she whispered, leaning forward and kissing Jerek on the cheek.

It struck Jerek then what he had been longing to do for a while. It was a way to express how he felt without ever having to say the words, and with such immense emotion behind it he couldn’t see it as vulgar and disgusting, but rather desirable. Stroking his hand through Tryne’s hair and along the side of her face, stopping with his fingers underneath her chin, he tilted her head up and touched her lips with his. Shyly and briefly at first, he hovered just a centimeter away, feeling her hot breath on his lips before kissing her again, longer and deeper, growing more passionate as he put his pent up frustration, love, and anxiety into it.

Reaching around Jerek, Tryne pulled him and herself more into the kiss, closing her eyes and letting herself sink into the emotion of the kiss, feeling and loving each sensation of it. Then, disappointingly, Jerek broke it and pulled Tryne’s head against his shoulder.

“We should sleep. We’ve had a long day and tomorrow will be rough as well.” Then he let her go, leaving a cold and empty feeling where they had been touching. Jerek spread his blanket out on the grass and folded it in half, then crawling inside he lay with his back turned toward Tryne.

For the first time Jerek realized the full extent of what was happening, of what he was doing, though his heart pounded against his chest and he longed to touch Tryne again. He knew that he had already made his decision when he left the castle the last time, but now he also knew the full impact of it. His brain told him he should go away so she could be safe, but his heart told him that he should stay with her so he could ensure her safety. Even though he had wanted to continue feeling and sensing only Tryne, he was scared.

 

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Fade to White

Fade to White chapter 11

Autumn

FadetoWhite

 

I liked drawing a lot back when I was a dorky teenager, but never considered myself to be a proper artist (I prioritized writing too much). Mostly for fun, I decided to illustrate a cover for my current posting of Fade to White.

Fade to White

Chapter Eleven

That morning Tryne had made the suggestion, and half an hour later they were riding Jerek’s horse through the forest on their way to the Amber Village. Before leaving, Jerek had tied back his hair and pressed his hat over his head, though he had become confident that no one could identify him. He was happy that they were finally leaving the farm, since the number of chores that Tryne had set for him had become irritating.

“This is nice,” Tryne murmured, resting her cheek against Jerek’s back and closing her eyes. “I never realized how much work my mom was doing just to keep that farm running.”

“You can always move somewhere else,” Jerek suggested once again.

“No, I’ll just scale back next year.” Tryne laughed. “Besides, where would I go?”

“Anywhere. Somewhere far away from here.”

“Jerek, are you suggesting that I run away with you?” Jerek didn’t answer so Tryne continued, “I’ll admit it’s tempting, but I like what we have now. We don’t need to go anywhere.”

“You’re way too stubborn.” Dismounting his horse, Jerek helped Tryne get down. “I want to . . .” he trailed off, searching for the words he wanted to say. “Buy you something . . .”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, something.”

Tryne smiled, putting her hand in Jerek’s. “I know where we should go.”

Taking his horse’s reigns, Jerek let Tryne lead him through the town. “We can get dinner too, I have the money.” He had helped himself to Nosaj’s funds whenever he had felt like it, and thus had accumulated quite a bit of money over the years.

“How much mercenary work do you do?”

“Enough.” She was asking too many questions again and Jerek needed to think of a way to get her off that topic. “So what do you want to get?”

“This, here.” Tryne pointed to a shop that was in front of them. “It sells dresses, I hope you don’t mind.”

Jerek stopped, seeing the women come and leave out the front door. He didn’t want to go in there, not with all those females crowding around, and a sort of deep resentment rose up in him as he watched those women, wondering how many of them were whores. Reaching into his pocket, Jerek pulled out a coin bag and put it into Tryne’s hand. “I’ll wait out here,” he said stiffly.

Tryne paused before saying, “Okay, I’ll be fast.” She gave him a light, somewhat awkward hug, before turning around and heading into the shop.

Jerek looked around, wondering what he was going to do now. This wasn’t what he had imagined happening, and yet he didn’t even know what it was that he had imagined. A little way down the street was a tavern, so Jerek set off to it. Stepping in and sitting down, he ordered a sarsparilla to drink, having always been wary of anything alcoholic and preferring to stay sober. Without even thinking, he reached for a cigaret, then remembered that he had left them back at Nosaj’s castle. Minutes seemed to stretch themselves out, and by the time Jerek finished his first drink he was thoroughly bored. He felt tempted to go and find Tryne, despite what other sort of trash might be there. At least then something would be happening.

Almost starting to laugh, Jerek raised his second sarsparilla to his lips. He really liked Tryne, to the point where he would withstand being surrounded by women just to be with her. That made him pathetic and he didn’t even mind. For once he didn’t care about looking stupid; he didn’t care about always appearing to be the big bad guy, since none of that mattered to the person he wanted to impress the most. It was Tryne’s fault for turning him that way, yet that only made him like her more. There really had to be something wrong with him.

“It’s those damn terrorists!” a man suddenly yelled, pounding his fist against the table and rattling the bottles on it.

Jerek jumped at the noise, but now that his attention had been drawn to the two men sitting close to him, he found himself listening to their conversation with interest.

“If they would stop rebelling and agitating the Commander, then the rest of us would be able to live in peace!”

The man’s companion murmured something inaudible, but the man responded with, “I mean that Opal would have never been destroyed if it wasn’t for them. I tell you, they are the ones who should be considered bad, not the Commander. What has the Commander and King ever done to us?”

“He didn’t have to resort to violence so quickly,” the second man replied, his voice growing louder. “He could have taken care of the terrorists without killing everyone in the village.”

“They deserved what they got, for letting the terrorists take over like that. If I knew that there were members of that group here in Amber, I’d hunt them down myself.”

“I heard a rumor that a woman had been picked up in this village for claiming to be a member of the group, so they’re definitely in this village too.”

“That’s what I heard too, and that’s why I’ve decided to personally start keeping my eyes open for more of them. If I see anyone acting suspicious, I’ll get a group together to lynch them.”

Jerek slowly took a sip of his drink. Listening to Tryne talk about the same event made it seem like it was a black and white situation, with everyone clearly against Nosaj’s tyranny, but apparently the villagers themselves had mixed feelings about the rebel group. Jerek wondered what Tryne was doing at that moment.

The tavern door bashed open and a man stood hunched over, trying to catch his breath as he gasped out, “Nosaj – troops – attacking!”

Jerek was the first one to push past the man and run outside, immediately turning to the shop Tryne was in. Reaching for his sword yet feeling nothing, he realized that he had left it back at the cottage, carefully stashed under his bed. Armored men were scattered around the village, rounding up everyone they were able to hold at weapon point, holding them in the center of the town. Jerek kept his head down, fearing that if he was recognized it would be the end of everything.

It seemed to take him forever to get to the shop and barge his way inside. He almost ran into one of Nosaj’s soldiers, surprising both of them for a moment. The soldier relaxed, starting to salute when Jerek clubbed him on the side of his head, knocking him over. Jerek cursed, looking at the stinging cut on his hand, wishing he hadn’t hit the soldier’s helmet. Reaching down he lifted the man up and clamped one hand around the soldier’s neck, causing the soldier’s mouth to gape open and closed, his eyes bulging out of his head. “You . . . !” he gasped. Placing his other hand on the top of the man’s head, Jerek gave it a sharp twist, snapping the man’s neck.

From somewhere in the back of the shop, he heard a scream pierce through the noise and chaos that surrounded him. Tryne. Quickly retrieving the sword from the dead soldier, Jerek bounded to where the scream came from. Tryne was pinned against the back wall by another one of Nosaj’s soldiers, whose helmet was lying by his feet. Long dark scratches ran across the soldier’s face and the fingertips of Tryne’s hand were also bloody. She screamed again, angrily trying to break free but the man kept her held against the wall by her wrists. Red flashed in Jerek’s eyes and like a deadly serpent he came up silently from behind, using his sword to bite into the man’s neck and nearly sever his head completely.

Shocked, Tryne watched the soldier’s corpse fall to the ground, then looked at Jerek. “I . . .” she started to say, but her face, and even her lips, turned a sickly white, so she put her hand up to her mouth, bending over as she retched.

“Come on.” Jerek grabbed Tryne’s wrist, pulling her after him. They needed somewhere to hide; there was no possible way he could fight against his own men. He needed his horse that was still tied up outside the tavern, bucking and neighing fiercely. It was a chance he had to take.

Dragging Tryne, Jerek bolted to his horse, grabbing the reigns and looking around for somewhere to go. Between two buildings he caught a glimpse of the side of a mausoleum next to a few tombstones, and he made the decision to go there. The world around him seemed to blur together as he made his way to his goal, and sound faded into the distance as they entered the graveyard, causing Jerek’s stomach to churn. Although he knew that this was the safest possible place, he couldn’t help the superstitious thoughts that crossed his mind; but it was because of those superstitions that none of Nosaj’s troops would dare to step foot in the graveyard. Simply being there wasn’t enough however, as it was still possible that he could be seen and recognized. Feeling even more wary and hesitant, Jerek led Tryne to the mausoleum in the center of the cemetery, stopping briefly to tie his horse to a tree. When they reached the building, Tryne was the one who stepped forward to push the door open, causing it to groan and creak loudly.

“Is this good enough?” she asked, peering into the dark.

“It should be. Leave the door open.”

Holding hands tightly, they stepped inside at the same time. Thick dust covered the rows of coffins lined up against the walls on both sides, lining the path of stone down the middle. At the other end there was an empty corner, waiting for a wooden box to fill it.

Tryne grabbed Jerek’s arm. “What if what they say about these places is true?”

“I don’t want to think about that.” Taking a deep breath, Jerek closed his eyes then took a step forward. Nothing happened. Slowly he took another step, then another. Still nothing happened. With Tryne clinging tightly to his arm, he walked down the center aisle, all the while searching for something that seemed threatening. When they reached the empty corner, he couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh of relief. There was nothing to worry about.

He sat down in the corner, wrapping his arms around Tryne and holding her tightly. It was pitch black behind the coffins, and Jerek’s eyes searched to break through the darkness but he couldn’t find any light. All he could feel was Tryne’s warm body against his, her lungs expand and contract as she breathed, the slight tremor that ran through her. His heart beat fiercely, overjoyed that she took up all of his senses, that she was all that existed in this place of death.

“Jerek,” Tryne whispered. “Tell me if you see any ghosts.”

“I don’t think there are any.”

They spent the rest of the time settled in silence, Jerek dozing off so he couldn’t tell how many minutes or hours had passed. Tryne had fallen asleep, breathing slowly with her head against his chest. Absentmindedly, Jerek stroked her hair, keeping hold of her as if he was afraid that letting go of her would cause her to slip away into the darkness. His eyelids drooped again, this time staying closed.

Tryne stirred and sat up, her movement pulling Jerek out of his sleep. Standing, Jerek stretched his stiff muscles while Tryne yawned and laid back down on the floor. Light still shone outside of the open doorway.

“Do you suppose we can leave now?” Tryne asked hazily.

Jerek paused before answering, “No. We’ll wait longer.”

“Why?”

“Because they could still be out there. I don’t want to find out that they are and end up . . .”

Tryne pushed herself to her feet, and looked into Jerek’s eyes. “You’re worried about me getting hurt.”

“I wouldn’t be doing my job very well if you did. You hired me to be your protector.”

“I’m not paying you any money.”

Jerek matched Tryne’s gaze, both of them staring at each other intently. This was one thing that Jerek was determined to not concede on, no matter what. She was never going to get him to admit to anything. “Then I don’t care.”

“All right then, I’m going.” Tryne took a step, but Jerek grabbed her arms.

“No! You will listen to me and obey me. You are not going out until I say so!”

Tryne reached up and brushed away strands of hair that had fallen in Jerek’s face. “If you’re that concerned about it then I guess I will stay here with you, but on one condition.” Jerek raised an eyebrow. “I slept in a weird position and now my muscles are sore.”

Sitting down, Tryne bent over with Jerek behind her. Unsure of himself, Jerek put his hands on Tryne’s shoulders and began moving them around in what he hoped was a massage.

“I suppose a graveyard is just too dark and creepy,” Tryne mused.

“For what?”

“I mean, it’d be more appropriate for a ghost or a skeleton to jump out at us, or a . . .” Tryne suddenly shrieked, jumping up and beating at her skirt with her hands.

“What is it?” Alarmed, Jerek stood as well.

“Spider!” Tryne yelped. “I felt it on me!”

Standing for a second in silence, Jerek burst out laughing. Pulling Tryne into a hug, he whispered mockingly, “There, there, I won’t let the spiders get you.”

Tryne hit him with all of her strength.

 

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