Tag: nanowrimo

About Me

Facing Fear in Writing: Advancing Your Plot

Autumn

NaNoWriMo has made me realize that I’m terrified of advancing the plot.

The characters have been on a picnic that kind of keeps dragging along with small talk and tiny hints at bigger things, only instead of getting up and doing anything, they’re sitting around. It’s starting to feel like my characters are looking at me with expectations, asking, “Well … when are we allowed to do something important?”

And all I can reply is, “I don’t know, where is my life going?!”

While I know where I intended the story to progress, I don’t feel anchored in it yet. It feels more like a half-forgotten dream than a series of events. Instead of trying to move forward, I’m keeping the characters sitting around the same spot, because I’m scared of changing the status quo.

Much like my life.

I think I spent about 15 years feeling like nothing ever fundamentally changed — a sort of monotony in constant chaos. No matter what happened, there’d be a big ol’ reset button that would put us all back in the same place with the same problems day after day after day. Explosive argument? Reset. New career prospect? Reset. Emotional breakthroughs and new promises? Reset.

Then one day the reset button didn’t activate.

Progress and change stopped being a fantasy to write about — it became real.

And it’s terrifying.

Especially because it’s like some sort of existential switch was flipped, and here I am trying to hide out at home maintaining the status quo for long enough to catch my breath, while people I hadn’t spoken to in 10 years are randomly calling me up to offer a path forward. Seriously, what the heck is going on? It feels like I’m sliding helplessly towards change. Maybe that’s what life is supposed to feel like.

So on an emotional level, I’m scared of advancing the plot in my novel. The characters want to move forward, and here I am all, “Let’s spend 10,000 words on this picnic. I described the weather as being very lovely.”

The problem with being a writer is that sometimes your psychological issues have a voice and can (metaphorically) stare you in the eye. Especially when you’re trying to get as much writing done in a month as you can.

About Me

Finding Passion in Creativity and Writing

Autumn

I don’t have to be a new person.

Maybe that’s an odd epiphany to have, but I was forced into a “fresh start”, and figuring out how to move forward has been … difficult. Part of me felt like I should reject everything about who I was and be a totally different person, to protect myself in the future. More pragmatic, less vulnerable.

But there are a lot of things about me that I like.

I like that I’m a writer, for one. It’s a deep passion that I keep coming back to, no matter what life throws at me — a calling that I’m lucky to have as an anchor.

I like that I’m a fiber artist. I like creating beautiful things out of fabric, thread, and yarn, and the way the kids love the items I make for them. Heck, I even love the “Did you make that?” attention that I get in public.

So maybe I don’t need to jump into a new education to build a new career as a new person. Maybe I can stay exactly who I am and peddle the skills I already have.

Despite what I’ve been told, my skills are valid.

I am valid.

I don’t have to reject me just because he did.

So here we are on day two of NaNoWriMo. I’ve decided to handwrite my first draft for now, and I like working with the TV playing in the background. It feels cozy to be curled up in my recliner with my favorite blanket and a notebook propped against the armrest. I have yet to feel a deep connection with the story and characters, but I am making progress in the words.

I over-prepared with the Halloween candy and didn’t get many trick-or-treaters, so now I’m left wondering how much I should give to my kids versus how much I should hoard for myself. You know the stereotype of writers who smoke while typing away? For me it’s candy.

If I hoard the leftovers for myself, I’ll certainly be well stocked for NaNoWriMo.

(I wrote this yesterday, and forgot to hit ‘publish’ 😅)

About Me

Reclaiming My Writing Dreams with NaNoWriMo

Autumn

I’ve decided to do NaNoWriMo this year.

Since I now have joint custody, I have tons and tons of child-free time for myself, and my house is probably a little excessively clean these days (do I really need to scrub down the walls every week?). I want to kick myself back into the writing habit, and the timing lines up perfectly for NaNoWriMo! Yay!

Which, admittedly, I probably won’t follow the way it’s intended. I am still a mom, and I still have plenty of days of childcare on my plate. Maybe I’ll take 2 months to make up for the 50-50 time division.

Participating in NaNoWriMo also feels like coming full circle, since the last time I gave it a shot I ended up meeting my now-ex-husband, and never finished that story. It’s time for me to reclaim the path I had wanted to journey so many years ago, after all those broken promises and surrendered dreams.

It’s hard to explain the sort of relief I feel, at the thought of planning out an entire month knowing that each day should be more-or-less predictable … or how terrified I am that they won’t be. However, I can’t let fear of what may or may not happen dictate my choices for me, so I might as well plow ahead like everything is going to be boring and stable.

So let’s jump right into the action plan:

I’m going to be continuing Runemaster, rather than coming up with anything new. Maybe it’s cheating that I already have a portion written, but I’m working with the limitations here — what I went through this year is not the sort of stuff that one just “moves on” from. So, rather than inventing anything new from my poor exhausted brain, I’m sticking with characters that are already familiar. Deeply familiar, in this case, considering that I originally created these characters about 20 years ago. Writing this novel will be very emotionally comforting for a number of reasons.

What I can’t decide right now is whether I want to type the story, or handwrite it. I used to always handwrite the first draft with the most colorful pens I own, but who knows if I’m going to want to go through the trouble of typing it up later. Choices, right? LOL

Part of me kind of wishes that my only responsibility was to scrub walls and wash laundry, but I can’t hide behind chores forever. I still have dreams to pursue, goals to accomplish, and a life to rebuild.

NaNoWriMo Day 1: I will write 1000 words.

It will be terrible, rusty, and full of self-doubt, but it will be writing.

That’s the important part.

About Writing

Why NaNoWriMo Sucks

Autumn

I’m not a fan of NaNoWriMo.

Yes, I’m fully aware of the intention behind it, but you know what they say about good intentions. When it comes to practical application, NaNoWriMo sets writers up to fail.

NaNoWriMo is not compatible with real life.

The one time I tried NaNoWriMo, I met my husband instead. Didn’t even come close to finishing.

Fact is, you can’t neglect significant others and children for an entire month without ramifications. People are going to get mad at you.

Not to mention, November kicks off the start of the holiday season, so if you’re planning on celebrating Thanksgiving or putting up Christmas decorations, it’s going to create a conflict. Conflict = stress = writer’s block.

And if you catch the coronavirus and are down sick for a week? Forget it. You can’t catch up.

You’re going to burn out.

People talk about this one a lot. They start off on fire and easily meet the daily word requirements, then completely lose all steam three weeks in and struggle to write a single sentence.

Do you take a week off, eat donuts and cruise around the neighborhood looking for Christmas lights to give yourself a break and recharge? No. Because then you’ll miss the deadline and fail.

50,000 words over four weeks is too much of a sprint for most people to handle. Remember, using your brain also drains your physical energy, and you’re trying to do the mental equivalent of running a 4-minute mile.

It’s better to pace yourself.

It can attach negative feelings to your novel.

Say you did your absolute best, but at the end of the month you only managed 30,000 words.

Then what?

Do you plow ahead and take another five months to finish, or do you become upset at your failure and quit writing altogether until the next November rolls around?

What if you lose interest in your novel because you associate it with feelings of pressure and stress?

Do you stuff those 30,000 words away in some folder hidden on your laptop and never think about them again?

Then what was the point?

Set up good writing habits that will see you through the long term.

It took me seven months to hit 50,000 words in Alice and the Warden. That includes taking two months off to have a baby, and plenty of days where I didn’t get around to writing. I’m satisfied with my progress, and I still have a life. I’m also very glad that I took the time to let the story grow and evolve, instead of rushing towards the end. The joy is in the journey.

Think about your story all the time.

It doesn’t matter if you’re driving to pick up burgers, folding laundry, or sitting in the dentist chair; think about your story. You know those moments when you feel restless and tend to go for instagram as a distraction? Don’t. Fidget uncomfortably, chew your fingernails, and think about your story.

Thinking about your story keeps it fresh in your mind, and motivates you to keep writing as new ideas and scenes come to you. Even if you’re lost about where to go next, keep thinking about what you’ve already written and figure out how to improve it. It will keep you open to inspiration.

Also, if you don’t like the idea enough to think about it daily for an entire year, make it more exciting.

Take care of your body.

Exercise, eat good food, spend time outside, and sleep. Our brains are connected to our bodies, and oftentimes writers block is your body’s way of crying out for better care. Instead of agonizing over an empty page, get up and do something. Even something as small as knitting can help get those juices flowing again. Or take a nap.

Remember, progress is progress.

If all you write on a given day is a single sentence, congratulate yourself. A sentence is progress, and progress is good. Don’t measure yourself in numerical terms of word count versus days passed, but instead on how you feel and experience the journey. Have fun, and keep moving forward.

A little trick that I like to use is, when I know how I want a scene to play out but I can’t get the words to flow, I deliberately write it in the stupidest way I can think of. It takes the pressure off, and gives me something that I can work with to edit and rewrite. It’s also good for a laugh.

Go ahead and participate in NaNoWriMo if you want to. There are authors who finish and publish their NaNoWriMo novels, so it is possible. However, I strongly recommend that you begin with a willingness to fail, and the assumption that you’ll continue writing through December, January, February, etc. Writing should ultimately be about self-expression and creativity, and it’s better to take the time to really enjoy yourself than it is to rigidly speed through to completion.