By Autumn Rain

Phew, the long nightmare of 2023 is finally over! Bring on the nightmare of 2024!

Joking aside, I have made it my goal to get back into regular blogging this year, since even just one post a week is better than nothing. Blogging is something that I like to do to organize my thoughts, and it sure is helpful to have some organization.

I can’t remember if I mentioned this before, but I’m putting a temporary pause on writing The Scions. After all of the events of 2023, that sail no longer has wind behind it, metaphorically speaking. My heart isn’t in it anymore. So I’ll finish it later, when the timing is better.

I’ve begun a new writing project that heavily uses AI as part of the process. Not only am I using Stable Diffusion to generate character portraits and concept art, I’m also using language model AI to help with the writing itself. I feel obligated to point out that AI is not to the point of being able to spit out a coherent novel, so while the process is different, it’s still very time consuming.

Essentially, my visual imagination is very weak, which makes describing visual things very difficult for me. AI has been enormously helpful in bolstering this weakness for me, so that I can focus more on writing how everything feels instead. To put it as a simile, it’s like switching from using a needle and thread to using a sewing machine.

I’m looking forward to sharing this new project with you.

Happy 2024!

My 16-year-old cat died exactly one month ago today. I adopted him back before I had even met my husband, and had gone through every stage of my adult life with him by my side — the idea of continuing on without my lapbuddy is a little daunting.

I’m still at the stage of keeping his food bowl sitting in its place, so that I can pretend in the back of my mind that he’s still catting about.

I’m the sort that withdraws to deal with the tough stuff, and 2023 has been full of a number of struggles. I’ve done barely any writing for this second half, and it saddens me to know that a second year is coming to a close where I didn’t meet my goal of finishing a novel. But life is life, and these rough patches are inevitable. Maybe when things settle down, I’ll be able to write a couple of novels in six months to make up for lost time.

I am still lurking around. Sort of.

I’ve written before about how Introversion is not synonymous with social anxiety or awkwardness. I’m posting about the video below to add to the discussion of the topic:

To summarize, a lot of people think that they are introverts because they are drained by social interaction, but that is an inaccurate assessment. In our modern technology driven society, most people are drained by socialization because they don’t socialize in face-to-face frequently enough for that part of their brain to operate at full capacity.

Part of the video that I found to be particularly fascinating is how extroverts are drained more by “toxic” environments than introverts, because extroverts are more socially aware and sensitive than introverts are.

Socializing has become an interesting and complicated aspect of our society. You’d think that with the whole, “Humans are social creatures” thing, we’d have a deeper understanding of it, but I guess it is what it is. Most people sit near the middle of the extrovert-introvert spectrum, and the farther out you go, the less people you find.

I’m someone who scored 90% introversion the last time I took and MBTI test. During my childhood, I romanticized the idea of living alone as a hermit or a recluse, and frequently read books like “My Side of the Mountain” or “Hatchet.” However, my IRL venture into off-grid living as a new adult convinced me that I liked modern conveniences too much to commit myself to the lifestyle. Because, you know, sometimes you need to run to the store for Tylenol at 3am, and it’s a pain in the butt to drive an hour to get into town.

I’m lazy like that.

I also don’t consider myself to be socially awkward. In fact, I’m often the one smoothing over other people’s awkward comments so that they won’t fall into anxiety. I took drama and debate classes in high school, and even won a trophy for poetry recitation. I’ve been complimented on my public speaking skills, and told that I don’t appear anxious at all. What people don’t realize is that it’s because I’m only vaguely aware of the audience, so it doesn’t bother me to perform in front of them (does anyone actually listen anyway?). Also, as a writer, I spend a lot of time “practicing” conversations in my head, so it’s not a big stretch for me to apply it to real life.

Though I do find most people very difficult to work with, largely because they now follow the “social media” format of socialization, where they structure their verbal conversations in the “status update followed by a comment” format. They don’t know how to flow from one topic to another.

There have also been plenty of times when I’ve been out in public with my husband, and he’ll later ask, “Did you see the person with the lime green feather boa?” and I’ll reply, “…No.” I don’t notice people the same way that my husband does. I usually only notice someone if they somehow invade my “bubble.”

And those are the reasons why I consider myself to be a true introvert, instead of a socially anxious extrovert.

Anyway, there isn’t any real purpose to this post. I got back a couple of days ago from a big road trip, and am now dealing with a cold that I caught during said road trip. I figured, “Why not write a blog post?” because who doesn’t enjoy some rambling every now and then? Besides, we both know how badly I’ve been neglecting my blog this year. Maybe it’s time for me to start updating more regularly.

What do you think?