About Writing

The Power of Telling in Writing: Beyond ‘Show, Don’t Tell’

The rule, “Show, don’t tell,” originated with the theater. Instead of having a narrator standing on the side of the stage loudly announcing that Aunt Martha is a mean #$%&, it’s far better to portray her with aggressive body language and a sour face.

However, somewhere along the way, the rule was applied to written fiction as well. Fact is, it’s pretty stupid as a rule for writing.

When your medium is words, you are literally telling everything.

To illustrate my point, I’m going to show you a picture:

Yep. Pretty awesome.

The visual part of your brain interprets that the picture is a photograph of a black fluffy cat sleeping on a game controller. There’s something knitted with bright yellow yarn on the bottom left, and the background has child-clutter, bookshelves, and even a fish tank. How ’bout that.

That’s show.

It works with theater, because the audience is watching actors, costumes, and props in front of them. The appropriate parts of their brains are lighting up to make all the correct interpretations of what’s going on.

Reading activates a different part of your brain, and to put it bluntly, not everyone has a good visual imagination to properly construct a scene that’s described to them with words. When I say, “fluffy black cat,” instead of picturing anything like the photograph above, their imagination is going to construct something more like this:

Stick legs

Or maybe their visual imagination is REALLY bad, and this is the best they can manage:

Instead of imagining a vivid scene with a real cat that’s doin’ stuff, they’re going to find themselves bored with the descriptions. It doesn’t matter how detailed you get, or how poetic you wax, it just isn’t going to do it for someone who can’t visualize that well. Chances are, they are far better at hearing the words, than seeing the scene.

Now, I’m going to tell you about that cat:

His name is Nyx, and yes, he was named after the goddess even though he's male. We rescued him and his sister when they were six weeks old, both very undersized and malnourished at the time because of untreated intestinal worms. We got them the necessary veterinary care, fed them lots and lots of kitten formula, and generally loved them into being healthy, energetic kitties. Nyx isn't fond of anyone other than me (which my husband considers to be a great betrayal), and he's got one of the whiniest meows that I've ever heard, but he likes to snuggle up with me and suck on my blanket when I'm lounging on the couch after the children have all gone to bed. He's the one I consider to be my animal familiar.

Now it doesn’t matter if your visual imagination can’t construct a vividly detailed picture, because you can piece together the information that I told you about his history and personality to construct an idea of what sort of cat he is. You get a lot more abstract information than the photograph gave you, and the irrelevant stuff is completely filtered out (I know, you were just dying to learn about that yellow yarn).

Here’s what I’ve discovered: People who have powerful visual imaginations are going to ‘see’ a scene or a character even if you don’t describe very many physical details. It does a pretty good job even without the purple prose.

But those who are better at hearing are often left in the dark, so to speak. Writers don’t play with things like alliteration or rhymes in fiction anymore, as they are far too busy trying to “show” everything to someone who may or may not be able to appreciate it. They don’t pay attention to the way the story sounds.

Because your audience is reading a book and NOT watching a movie, pay attention to the way the syllables and consonants flow. Read your story out loud to give yourself a chance to hear it.

Go ahead and tell your audience that Aunt Martha is a mean #$%&. Have that be the first sentence of the story, and spend the next few paragraphs telling everyone why. Imagine Morgan Freeman is narrating, or Vincent Price. Don’t be afraid to have a strong voice as an author.

Seriously.

Give it a try.

See what happens.

About Writing

Sequels

I’ve never written a sequel before.

Which is kind of … weird.

My writing history is pretty standard: started writing Redwall fanfiction as a kid, fell madly in love with the craft, and never quit. I had finished a couple of novels by the time I graduated from high school, etc, etc, et cetera. Maybe I’m supposed to care more about my “credentials,” but, meh. When I look back, all I see is inexperience and immaturity, and they ain’t nothing to brag about.

The other day when I started writing the sequel to The Black Magus, it struck me that in all this time, I’ve never written a book #2 before. You’d think that in over 20 years I would have at least experimented with it, but apparently not.

And sequels require a whole slew of new things to be mindful of.

For starters, I don’t want the second book to be completely incomprehensible to anyone who hasn’t read the first, which means that I need to artfully provide relevant exposition without devolving into “Previously on____” style recaps. This is going to require a fair bit of thought.

I also think that I ought to read The Black Magus and take lots of notes, to ensure better consistency between the books despite the real time that has passed between them. I’ve read too many sequels that ruin the gems introduced in the first book, so I want to do my best to prevent that from happening. Not to mention, retcon-ing is straight up awful.

I make the exception for “Rumors of my demise…” In the future, I think that I’m going to kill off a character just so I can bring them back in the sequel with that line, lawl.

Other things to be mindful of: Character drift, pointless repetition of the same plot elements, mixing new characters with the old, getting someone drunk again …

I’m definitely going to be learning on the go with this one.

About Writing

Up Next

The entire first draft of Alice and the Warden is now posted.

I plan on keeping it up for awhile, and I’ve also tried to make it easy to navigate through the chapters for anyone who wishes to read it in the future. Yah, I know, doing this isn’t going to earn me any money, but we could all use a distraction every now and then.

So

I’ve got “Miranda and the Convict” coming up (which I’ve been referring to as fan fiction) and I’ve decided to do something fun with it. I’m actually pretty excited about this, and you don’t want to know how much time I’ve put into setting up this little side project.

It’s kind of a big deal for me that I managed to maintain updating AatW for over a year. I’m the sort that’s prone to forgetting which dimension I’m in, so I’m proud of myself for sticking with it, even when I had a baby during last summer. To celebrate, I’m going to be posting even more fiction!

Maybe I’ll convince someone to stop being a lazy bum, and to read a book instead of watching Netflix.

About Writing

Five Essential Elements for Compelling Stories

A stereotypical formulaic story:

An ambitious and spunky woman hits a low point in her career, so she leaves the big city to visit her small hometown, where she rekindles an old flame and learns a lesson about what’s really important in life. *cue heartfelt music*

Which basically means that once you’ve read one such story, you’ve read them all. *yawn* Yet a lot of writers keep sticking rigidly to the “basic plot” for whatever their chosen genre is, which ultimately makes them uninteresting to read.

I’ve decided to go ahead and break it down farther, to give you the analysis of the framework, so you know how to write a story without relying on imitating a plot that’s already been done.

I give you, the bare bones:

1.Exposition – Tell us who the story is about, the setting, and anything else that’s relevant to understand the rising action.

From our example above, this would be the description of ambitious and spunky woman, her chosen career, why she’s in a slump, why she chooses to return to her hometown.

To mix it up: An introverted yet successful cake decorator is given the challenge of a lifetime — making a cake to welcome the alien invasion. Describe how she’s successful, and why she was chosen.

2. Rising Action – This is usually the bulk of the story. The conflict has been introduced, and now it’s up to the characters to play it out.

From the example: The spunky woman meets her old flame, swoons over how gorgeous he is, then gets upset that he’s a jerk. Meanwhile, she has several deep conversations with her mom and/or best friend.

To mix it up: The cake decorator is teamed up with some important guy from the government, and together they work out the alien symbology to avoid accidentally offending the invaders. Meanwhile, they discover the aliens are allergic to buttercream, and need to come up with a substitute.

3. Climax – This is the culmination of events, and often the turning point in the story. It’s usually exciting.

From the example: Spunky woman and her old flame are stuck together somehow. They reveal their feelings and begin their relationship.

To mix it up: The cake decorator and government man realize that they were set up as scapegoats, and decide to hijack an alien cruiser to flee to the stars. Earth is doomed.

4. Falling action – This is where the characters work through the consequences of the climax.

From the example: The spunky woman is offered a new job, and she must choose between returning to the big city, or staying in her hometown with her old flame.

To mix it up: The cake decorator and government man discover an established colony of humans on Mars. Turns out, the aliens have been kidnapping people to populate it for years. They settle down together to live inside a dome city.

5. Resolution – The conflict is resolved, and the loose ends are tied up. Basically, it’s the author’s job to bid us a proper farewell so we feel satisfied that the story is over.

From the example: The spunky woman learns an important lesson about life and love, and decides to spend a little less time working, and a little more time living.

To mix it up: The cake decorator opens a new business on Mars, because frosting is her passion in life. Thanks to her knowledge that the aliens are allergic to buttercream, the colony can live in peace as long as they eat cake regularly. She is much happier than she ever was on Earth. She and government man have an unbreakable bond because of their shared experiences.

It’s essential that every story have all five parts. The climax doesn’t necessarily have to be big and dramatic, but there does need to be some pivotal event. Also, if you just end abruptly without a resolution, the story is going to feel unfinished.

If you use the story map as a guide for the events in your fiction, you can come up with new and exciting plots that don’t repeat the same old tropes over and over and over. Branch out, do something new, and still leave your readers feeling satisfied in the end.

About Writing

Thoughts on creative writing

I took my first creative writing class 18 years ago.

Technically, I guess I did three years of creative writing as a teenager, then majored in the subject for two years in University before dropping out.

Anywho

It rather leaves me speechless at how creative writing has “modernized” since then. Absolutely no one talks about literary devices, story organization, or how to utilize punctuation. Instead you get an onslaught of articles promising to teach you, “How to write an emotionally manipulative villain”, or, “The best way to avoid burnout” — not to mention, the standard attacks on adjectives, and the word, “said.”

(That’s like painting a picture without using any shades of green and blue. Yes, it can be done, but it’s pointlessly limiting. If the words exist, don’t be afraid to use them.)

The other day it occurred to me that I’ve developed my own style of writing to the point that I could publish a how-to book on it. Then you, too, could be a famous author like me!

Except not really.

Because if there’s one thing I’m really bad at, it’s marketing — which has more to do with popularity than quality does.

And, well, it’s my writing style. Even if I listed everything I do out with bullet points and detailed explanations, you would still never write like I do. Could I even reduce it down succinctly? Is it possible to teach others how to talk to people who aren’t real?

Not to mention, some of my most poignant lessons happened while my husband and I were living out of a car, and that has been a major influence on what I write. You can’t teach that through a book.

I’d much rather encourage people to develop their own process that makes them happy. Ultimately, that’s what writing should be about.

But I’m really starting to think that literary devices need to make a comeback, and someone ought to give that push.

About Writing, Alice and the Warden

The Damon Chapters

An analytical discussion of my novel, Alice and the Warden. Aka, ego tripping. I will be discussing spoilers, so feel free to skip this post if you aren’t currently caught up.

So … I could never be a Hallmark movie writer. Truth is, while working on the Damon chapters, I could hear my mom’s voice lamenting, “Why can’t you write nice stories?”

*insert childhood issues here*

But anyway, we don’t need to get into the reasons why I’m drawn towards the darker side of reality. I just am, and that’s that.

Miranda is a foil** to Alice, and most of her decisions are opposite of Alice’s. Where the novel begins with Alice recovering from her life with Damon, Miranda in turn gets sucked into his world through the course of the story.

I don’t hate either Miranda or Damon — I’m actually fond enough that I’m writing “fanfiction” of them, that takes place after AatW ends. So hey, if you want more D/M, it’s coming.

When I began writing the Damon chapters, my goal was to illustrate how he draws people in, then manipulates and destroys them. I wanted to give a clear example of the sentence from chapter 3, “After four years, Alice had disappeared completely underneath Damon, to the point that when he asked her to confess to murder, she did it without hesitation.”

My secret worry is that others would read that sentence and immediately assume that Alice was a weak-willed doormat who passively allowed herself to be abused. In fact, Alice’s broken family left a giant vulnerability in her that Damon exploited for his own selfish gain, and she was very much the victim.

The exact tactics he used with Miranda were different, but the approach is generally the same. He found something to tie her to him, then oscillated between “perfectly wonderful” and “abusive psycho.” She can’t tell if she loves him or hates him, because he’s constantly throwing both at her. Since Miranda is a prideful sort of person, she isolates herself rather than risk the shame of revealing what she had gotten herself into, and Damon relies heavily on that fact. In essence, he deliberately gives his “girlfriends” Stockholm syndrome, and he’s smart enough to pull it off.

Internally, Damon wants to be better, but he doesn’t know how to deal with his own demons.

The Damon chapters were almost draining to write. They don’t have the cute cotton candy fluff of the first half of AatW, and they strike on my own insecurities far more than the Alice/Hackett chapters. Like I said before, I can just hear my mom’s voice chastising me for writing them.

But they’re an essential part of the story, because they give perspective on the depth contained in the first few chapters. Alice didn’t whimsically decide that she wanted to keep her baby — it was the first time her soul cried out for something after four years of psychological abuse and a broken childhood.

I have entirely too much to say about my own works.
LAWL.

**In literature, theatre/theater, etc., a character who helps emphasize the traits of the main character and who usually acts as an opponent or antagonist.
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/foil

About Writing

Coming soon

Me: Damon and Miranda are the antagonists of my novel.

Also me: I wrote fanfiction about them!

Coming soon:

About Writing

Study Psychology

I keep an eye on current creative writing practices, even though I think that it’s shallow and inane. Yeah, I know, I’m a total snob about this. Egotistical. Et cetera.

But srsly

When the masses are saying, “Make sure that your characters act like real people,” I can’t help but scratch my cheek with a sense of bafflement. Okay. Yeah. Sure. Sounds solid.

BUT HOW DO REAL PEOPLE ACT?

I know it sounds silly on the surface, but it’s a legitimate question. When was the last time you went out of your way to watch real people, see what they do, and wonder why? (probably not since March 2020, snerk)

Which is why I say, “Study psychology.”

Personally, I like self help books, since they’re easier for individual study and are written with “real world application” in mind. I have a huge number of books on marriage and relationships, and also topics like manipulation, business, “how to be happy”, spirituality, etc (I’m a knowledge junkie, so I’ve never been all that picky). Heck, even developing an understanding of astrology will give you a good base for creating characters, not to mention the Myers-briggs personality types.

No, it doesn’t wrap up neatly for a bullet point in an article. You can’t churn out a story, look at it and say, “Yeah, that’s totally how real people act,” then give yourself a pat on the back. When it comes to truly understanding people, you never cross the finish line. People are beautifully complex and unique like that.

And ultimately, fictional characters are supposed to be larger than life anyway.

About Writing

What AatW isn’t…

My husband and I like each other, so we tend to talk a lot. Like, for at least a couple of hours every day. We’re serious BFFs.

Recently, my husband said, “The only reason Hackett isn’t a cuck is because of his sense of dignity.”

I both laughed and felt mortified.

Because for the last eleven months that I’ve been working on this story, I’ve been worried that it was going to be misconstrued as a cuckolding fantasy, or the MGTOW narration of, “Girl gets pregnant by sexy alpha, then dupes nice guy into financially providing for her.”

It’s not.

One of the main themes of the novel is the value of self-worth. Hackett comes in with a strong sense of who he is, and doesn’t let others belittle or manipulate him. Alice, on the other hand, starts off struggling to figure out her identity, while dealing with the aftermath of “living like she was disposable.” Essentially, Hackett becomes the example that inspires her.

Hackett still expects fidelity, and to be treated fairly and respectfully. He ain’t no cuck.

But I can see how the same scenario with a weak male lead would very easily be along those lines.

About Writing

Romance Genre

I’m not entirely sure which genre Alice and the Warden properly belongs to. I call it Romance because the primary focus is on the relationship between the two main characters, but it’s very different from your stereotypical romance novel — it’s not based on any self-serving fantasies (*cough*50 Shades*cough*) that the ‘romance’ label usually connotes.

I also joke that if AatW were Women’s Fiction, Alice would immediately put her baby in daycare, go to college in pursuit of friendship and career, and desperately seek to regain her “lost” years — while Hackett was relegated to the background as a supportive cardboard cutout. Bonus: She’d call herself a good mother after constantly complaining how much time and energy babies take up.

Then there’s the Damon chapters…

(Yes, I am fully aware that I could never be a Hallmark movie writer.)

It’s always a bit awkward saying, “I write romance,” because people automatically think of books like Twilight — the whole, “Oh, you’re just writing shallow fantasies about rich men off the top of your head,” reaction. Personally, I see it as a very serious topic; one that I’ve applied years of research and real life experience into, because frankly, successfully writing marriage and love actually requires a deep understanding of psychology and relationships, and doing it wrong alienates readers.

And yes, writing romance even requires a philosophical stance, too. I portray “complementary” relationships, instead of the more popular “egalitarian” model.

So maybe it’s time to revamp the “romance” genre to include actual research, to reflect how real relationships work, instead of being purely the realm of self-serving sexual fantasies.

Goal number two: Write romance that appeals to men, lol.