Concept Story – Darkness

We interrupt our regular scheduled programming to bring you a concept story so dark, I feel morally obligated to give a trigger warning:

Self-harm/suicide attempt

I made it two-and-three-quarters inches down my wrist with the razor blade before the sight of gushing blood filled me with panic and very quickly changed my mind. I was alone, and didn’t know what else to do, so I called 911 and numbly kept a towel pressed over the cut as I waited for the ambulance to arrive, hoping that I didn’t pass out before the paramedics got there.

The next hour was the highlight of my life. The doctor was surprisingly tender as he stitched my wrist, and a therapist stopped by for a chat. I had expected everyone to treat me like some suicidal idiot, and was surprised by how much they seemed to care. For a moment, I believed that I mattered – just like everyone else – and I lost myself in the fantasy that from then on, someone would be there to listen to me, to treat me like I existed.

Then my mom arrived to take me home.

She complained about the inevitable bill that the insurance wasn’t going to cover, and I wished that I hadn’t chickened out. At the very least, I wouldn’t be around to hear her grumble about the cost of the funeral.

As much as I wanted to hate my mom, I couldn’t. My dad smacked her around for a few years, and when he started on me she finally worked up the nerve to leave. I was too young to remember much, but every so often my aunt liked to talk about how my mom was never the same after that. I’m sure that at 18, my mom didn’t look to the future and imagine herself trapped in this mess, left as only a shadow of what she used to be. I wanted to blame her for a lot of things, but instead I took all of my hurt and directed it against myself, because I wasn’t strong enough to make life any easier for her.

Still, my mom must have cared enough to make a phone call, because the next day my cousin, Christine, showed up to take me to the movies. Christine was smart, witty, popular, beautiful, perfect – everything that I wasn’t and could never be. I imagined that my mom had consulted her sister, and they had decided to arrange our friendship with the hope that some of Christine would rub off on me. I don’t know what my aunt bribed my cousin with to get her to cooperate, but it must have been good.

That was the moment our desitinies were carved in stone. It was no surprise that we wound up on opposing sides, each of us willing to fight with everything we had. She wanted to preserve the world, while I so desperately sought to end it.

3 thoughts on “Concept Story – Darkness”

  1. The concept would need research to be woven into a story. Based on what I have seen, people who have these demons don’t normally describe things so vividly. Their actions are a way to take control or to make the painful thoughts stop. If you are going to use this in a story, may I suggest creating a journal for the protagonist. Create some distance and a shift in perspective.

    If you show the internal monologue of the author in different scenes, you can freely show their interaction with their love interest in contrast. For example, show how they might be using the relationship as a cover or escape from that internal pain. Or suggest that the relationship is pure fantasy.

    The tension would be greater and you would not have to resolve the internal struggles. Instead, the story could end with the realisation that a healthier approach to healing is necessary.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My concept stories are very underdeveloped, since I write them as a way to play with ideas, rather than as a solid piece of fiction. Those are some very good suggestions (though I didn’t think I was describing anything vividly, since I was trying to go for flattened emotion expression — guess I need to fix that), and will definitely get added to ‘idea pot’ for this one.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I completely understood the style of expression you were going for. This suggestion was for a possible direction in case some readers misunderstood your focus. (We live in that day and age.)

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s